I'm going to a wedding on Friday for a close friend “Ann” from high school. In college, she had introduced me to a girl I dated for a few months “Susie”. It was an "intimate" relationship. Needless to say, I was not such a nice guy and dumped her mostly because I thought I could find someone better. But, I dumped her over the phone rather than in person and haven't spoken to her since. That was about 4 years ago.
I doubt it's that big of a deal, but I know today that Susie’s bringing some fiancee she’s getting married to soon. I’m a little concerned at being depressed and alone -- I have yet to find a date even though I’m working on it. The wedding is on a weekday and it’s 8 hours away. I’m trying to get a hold of an old classmate who lives in the town of the wedding to go with me. I think it’s important to find a date because the only two people I know at the wedding are IN the wedding, so I’ll probably be alone most of th
2006-07-03 14:24:48 · 19 answers · asked by doogsdc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
the time. I just don’t want to sit in a corner and look over at my ex-girlfriend swapping spit with some chump for the whole night.
Any ideas for a back up dateless plan if this falls through? Any ideas how to get some anonymous girl from the wedding town to pretend she knows me and go with me?
2006-07-03 14:25:46 · update #1
Girls give mostly crappy responses. Any dudes with constructive ideas?
2006-07-03 14:26:38 · update #2
Take a girl "friend" with you if you're afraid you'll be lonely; your old girlfriend won't know the difference. But she probably won't give a hoot, either, since she'll be with her fiance'!!!
2006-07-03 14:28:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you are trying to make an excuse for the anxiety that you are feeling. Your anxiety may not be coming from being alone but the idea of confronting a situation head on on something that you rather not deal with. Your conscious is playing tricks on you and you should look at it as you being a really great guy because you do have a conscious. If "Susie" was not going to be a the wedding or attending without a fiance then you probably wouldn't have any doubts about being there. You should just confront what's really bothering you, which is bringing closure to a past situation that you seem to regret or feel bad about now. My advice is to talk to "Susie" before or at the wedding and tell her exactly how you are feeling now ("Susie, I just wanted to tell you sorry and I am glad that I have the opportunity to do that now. I wish you the best") Then have a great time!!! You never know who you will meet and most importantly, it is about you supporting and celebrating "Ann" life changing moment.
2006-07-03 21:39:59 · answer #2 · answered by mrs.small 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either you go alone or not go at all. Why do you want to attend her wedding in the first place? Is it a sincere desire to wish her all the best, or just for you to prove something to her and/or to yourself?
You are not obliged to attend her wedding in the first place, are you? So why trouble yourself with this question?
If you can't find a date for your ex's wedding, go there alone. Come on, what doesn't hurt you won't kill you. It's emotional pain you are going through. But is it or is she still worth it? You are the one who dumped her in the first place. Get real. We win some; lose some. Life's not perfect. We make mistakes. We learn. You learned yours the hard way. Many people do.
It's okay to be alone attending your ex's wedding. I did that. Guess what? It would be a liberating experience to see your ex exchange vows with the person she's gonna be with all her life. Don't feel bitter. Just wish her all the happiness in the world. All those good wishes will come back to you a hundred fold.
I know how painful it is but what can we do? Should you decide to attend, take it as a challenge. You'd be a better person at the end of the wedding day.
So? To go or not to go? It's all up to you.
Whatever your decision would be, now that she's gonna be married, let go of her. Cut clean.
Goodluck.
2006-07-03 21:33:29 · answer #3 · answered by nina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, it is nice that you feel a bit guilty, you should. What you did may not have been the classy way to drop a chick you have been intimate with.........but, she has obviously moved on and so should you. If you really feel the need to apologize you should not do it at the wedding, tell her she looks great and congratulate her on her engagement and be done with it. However if she corners you for an explaination, give her one. You were young,didnt know what you wanted and you are sorry, that is enough.. And then go flirt your *** off with every single girl in the room, if she can swap spit so can you....Good luck
Angi
2006-07-04 02:02:51 · answer #4 · answered by cinderella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh good grief, stop being such a social infant. At the reception, you walk up to Susie and tell her she looks beautiful, and is it true she's getting married? She will introduce that fellow standing next to her as her fiance, and you tell him he's a very lucky man. Then you busy yourself being attentive to the other guests. Ask the grandmothers and old aunties to dance, so they will introduce you to the younger single women present. Look for other people who seem to be alone and introduce yourself. Or look for groups and join them. At large parties, it is always OK to extend your had and say "Hi, I'm John Doe. I don't seem to know anyone here."
You're never going to meet any if you too insecure to go anywhere without a date.
2006-07-04 00:01:18 · answer #5 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dumped the girl so what does it matter who shes with. If she was worth keeping you wouldn't of dumped her over the phone. Its fine to go to a wedding by your self you never know who you will meet.
Just because you do not now many people does not me you wont have a good time and find someone there your age and talk to.
2006-07-03 21:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by shaye2436 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that dumping someone that you have been intimate with over the phone IS a big deal. You probably really hurt her and perhaps this is Fate's way of teaching you a lesson....she has moved on to bigger and better things and you are being forced to eat a big slice of humble pie....hopefully you'll learn your lesson and treat women with more respect from now on.
2006-07-03 21:29:36 · answer #7 · answered by nic2127 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the high road. Approach her, and say something along the lines of, "Hi, it's me! I know that it's been years since we've even seen each other, but I just wanted to let you know that I feel very badly about how I treated you when we were dating, and I'm glad you've found someone." You'll both feel better, and it'll get rid of any awkwardness of seeing each other again if you just step up and apologize.
2006-07-03 21:32:07 · answer #8 · answered by Not Allie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go and have a good time. There will be single women there that you can meet. Relax and be yourself. It sounds like you feel uncomfortable with your ex because of the way the relationship ended. Maybe you need to talk to her instead of avoid her.
2006-07-03 21:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by Christine E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be cool and natural. When you meet her just greet her as if you are comfortable without her. Bring a partner that you should be proud of and with a good standing in the society. The secret weapon is that you should feel successful.
2006-07-03 21:29:22 · answer #10 · answered by FRAGINAL, JTM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋