I'm 44, he's 33. I make 3 times his salary. Can this relationship really work?

Question

I have no children, he has 2 - oldest is 11 years old. After 10 months together he says he's in love, but I want to be careful. After all, who wants to get used? On top of everything, now he's talking about marriage. But he has everything to gain and I have everything to lose. Should I just let go and trust in the power of love, or should I run?

He's cheated on me once-5 months into the relationship. He said he needed help financially and he only did it because she was giving him money. She know about me. After he got busted over his cell phone, he promised that it would never happen again. So far, he's kept true to that promise as far as I know. I wouldn't be as concerned if this had never happened

Answer 1

I would think it's about how you feel towards each other,not a 9 year age difference or how much money you make.

Answer 2

Sweetie, I have not only walked a mile in your shoes, but hoofed it for nearly 3 years. I'm 41, and my ex bf is 33. We broke up this weekend, due to irreconcilable differences. The differences being I made alot more than he did, and I was tired of feeling like the "alpha dog". Always having the money for anything we did. Neither of us have children. He wanted them, but at my age, I don't. After only 4 or 5 months, he told me he loved me. After about a year, he was talking marriage. I ended a 15 year marriage for infidelity. I hadn't been with my bf long enough (in my mind) that I could project 5 years in the future.....or 10. I didn't know that I wanted him with me. It was too soon for marriage. So the relationship went along for nearly 3 years. We fought about the same things about every 8 months or so.
Do you and your man have alot in common (other than financial stability?) Do you enjoy the same activities? My bf changed alot over the period we lived together. I know that I enriched his life, as he did mine, but there wasn't enough maturity on his end, to maintain a lasting relationship.
Talk about feeling used. If we went anywhere, I normally paid. He paid rent, but because he was always less than thrifty with his money, I eneded up giving him back cash for gas, cigarettes, clothing, et cetera. I felt like I took him to raise.

Contrary to the poets and songwriter's motto......."love DOES NOT CONQUER ALL". You have to deal with the day to day, and the lousy day at work, coming home and taking it out on whomever's handy. The road trips that take twice as long because he's too manly to ask for directions. Relationships are work. They're not suppose to be easy. The ones that last maintain the balance between love, compromise, respect, honesty, loyalty, open-mindedness, growth. Can you honestly feel that you and your bf could grow at the same rate, and maintain an interesting relationship and loving relationship?
Maybe you and your man could make it work. My adivce would be to talk over everything that might bother you.
Open communication is key to any relationship.
You could get a prenup to protect you. If he balks at that, girlfriend..........get out, before you go in debt.

Answer 3

suitable now: 40 9. ingesting ? no 50. ingesting ? particular, an orange juice :) ((fifty one is lacking...)) particular fifty two. i'm approximately to ? flow outdoors and stretch fifty 3. listening to ? no,i'm staring at television fifty 5. waiting for ? no person ((fifty 5, fifty six, fifty seven are lacking...)) YOUR destiny : fifty 8. go with youngsters? particular, i am going with a minimum of three :D fifty 9. go with to get married? particular do :D 60. Careers in concepts? what do you advise? :?? ((sixty one, sixty two, sixty 3, sixty 4, sixty 5, sixty six, sixty seven are lacking...)) that's greater powerful WITH the different GENDER? sixty 8. Lips or eyes ? eyes sixty 9. Hugs or kisses ? hugs 70. Shorter or taller ? taller seventy one. Older or youthful ? older seventy two. Romantic or spontaneous ? romantic seventy 3. effective abdomen or effective palms ? effective palms seventy 4. comfortable or hardcore ? comfortable seventy 5. Hook-up or relationship ? relationship seventy six. long or short hair?? long hair seventy seven. hassle maker or hesitant ? hesitant :) thank you

Answer 4

Girl, your priorities are all wrong!! Yes you are concerned, but only about the money aspects!!!!

The important thing here is, is he trustworthy, faithful, godly, loving, patient...Has he shown himself to be not a cheater etc. Talk to his relatives and ask them what they really think about him... Then make your decision.

You have his youthful body to gain, ok? If you want to go there..

Answer 5

Well, take this one verrrryyyyy slowly! Two secretaries at my job, when they date men, get a serious relationship; suddenly the men quit their jobs and say "now you can take care of me while I stay at home and do nothing!" Both have had several relationships that ended up this way. BOTH no longer date any man.

Answer 6

sounds like there is no love at all or you wouldn't be asking. would love to no why you wasted ten months with the man when he has nothing you want. i could write s much more but you wouldn't like it so i won't good luck to the poor man since he doesn't make enough money

Answer 7

i can see why u have no previously family. unwilling to share. what if it was the other way round. u 2 kids little salary. maybe he is trying to get a better life for his kids. who wouldnt try. things u need to think about is do u love him and do u love the kids if not move on. its not easy taking on someone elses kids

Answer 8

if you love this person or hope to then what the heck does looking down your nose at him because you make more money than he does?
reads like he should be the one running.
such superficial things is why we have a 60% divorce rate.

Answer 9

Trust in yourself and your heart and you can't go wrong. Maybe he is a great guy he just has a lot on his plate but its all up to you.

Answer 10

if you really love someone why would you even think of running. if he respects you this money issue wouldnt even come into it. also age has nothing to do with it