My girlfriend has the habit of wanting to push me away because she's afraid to be happy.?

Question

What do i do to ashure her that nothing bad is gonna happen to us. Other than just tell her that and bein there for her.

Answer 1

constant reassurance...even when you think you've reassured her enuff...do it some more...she really needs to hear it a lot 'til she believes you.

Answer 2

I am married, and I still sometimes feel like your wife does! I guess we see all of those other jerks out there screwing up their marriage. We assume that it will happen to us too! Sometimes I still find myself pushing my husband away, not afraid to relax and enjoy our marriage. If you were let down before, and your heart was broken, than it's easy to put a wall up to keep from getting hurt. I can just tell you what seems to help me.... Just make sure to reassure her every day of how you feel for her. Sometimes men think that you know how they feel from just telling you once. I think we tend to expect things to change eventually. So to be reassured feels really good to us. Remind her that you are not going anywhere, and she is the only woman in your life. Although you have no idea when God will interfere and you need her to be happy and enjoy the life that you two share together, because you just never know when it's over. It's so true. ( I've lost a best friend a year ago, she was my age (23), she had two young children and a husband. I see how much she is missed by them, and I know there is so much regret on how they lived their lives together.) Enjoy the ones you love, don't hold back any thing you feel, life is just too short... Good luck hun! :)

Answer 3

When I read the question, I thought that maybe it was my bf asking it. I tend to try to push people away. And it is fear. It's a way for me to test the relationship. I do it with friends and my boyfriend. And it's because I've never had anyone to trust, and I've been put down my whole life. I've been hurt several times by guys. So..it's mainly fear. If I can push, and push, and push, and they don't leave, then they are deserving of my trust. That's the way I see it.

You need to stick by her the best you can. Keep reassuring her that you're not going to hurt her. Don't run from her. That's the worst you can do, because it'll just reinforce her fear. Talk to her. Try to get her to open up to you. Just be there for her.

Answer 4

nothing you say will make her beleive you :( unfortunately. it's hard to trust again once your heart has already been broken.
you can say that nothing bad will ever happen yet both you and he know that the future may not include the two of you together. im sorry i wish i knew a way that you could get her to stop pushing you away but i dont know one. just try to let her know that she can trust you and how much you love her, that's pretty much all you can do right now. she'll come around eventually.

Good Luck !!!


Aaron's Angel

Answer 5

I think your second comment is on the spot. All you can do is love a person. You cannot make them love you. I wish I had a better suggestion but I am in the exact same situation with my girlfriend. She has issues with old boyfriends. I have tried gifts, love, kindness, but all have failed. I just tell her I love her but my hope "dies a little each day." Good luck.

Answer 6

well shes been burnt somewhere in her life and has a hard time getting close to people , as you know in order to get close to people you have to let down the wall, and that takes love and kindness and being there for the long haul. but here's some really great news for you , i was like that because of my childhood and never let anyone close to me , and then fell in love and the wall came down and it doesnt go back up for some reason just can't put it back up

Answer 7

She sounds scared. I don't think its necessarily happyness thats she's scared of though. Possibly committment?