Whats the Best Joke you got?

Answer 1

I have a really old joke:

Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush were travelling by plane. The were all talking about who the American people like the most. First, Clinton throws out a hundred ten dollar bills and says "I just made 100 people happy" Then Bush throws a thousand hundred dollar bills and says "I just made a thousand people happy" Lastly Hilary Clinton picks up and throws out Bush and says "I just made the whole country happy"

Answer 2

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

Answer 3

A man is sitting in a bar in a harbor town when in walks a real, peg legged, hook for a hand, patch over the eye pirate. The pirate sits down next to him and orders a drink of rum. After a minute, the two begin to make conversation. After several drinks, the guy decides to ask the pirate a question.
" If you don't mind me asking, How did you get your peg leg?"
The pirate replies, " A hurricane came up one night and blew me overboard. While I wuz in the water, a shark came along and ate me leg!"
"Wow! So how did you get your hook?"
"We was commerce raidin' off the Dry Tortugas, when I got in a sword fight with the captain of the ship we was attackin'. He cut off me arm with 'is cutlass."
"Really! Well, what about the patch then? How did you get that?"
"A seagull shat in me eye." He said
"You lost your eye to seagull poo?????"
"Aye, 'twas the first day with me new hook!"

Answer 4

1.) An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?" "Certainly," replies the doctor, "Where do you think lawyers come from?"

2.) "You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.

Answer 5

there was three pepole standing on top of the empire state bulding, one threw a doller off and went to see what happened to it. a kid found it and spent it. another person threw a knife off and went to see what happend, it hit the same kid's dog and it died.the next person threw off a bomb and went to see, it blew up the kid's house the kid was roling on the ground laghing,the man said: why are you laghing?! you'r house just blew up! the kid said i farted and it blew up my house! ok here's another: there were three pepole ontop of a cliff , and they find a geni ina magic lamp, so it comes out and says you each get 1 wish, the 1st guy wishes that he was superman,so he does and flys off the cliff . the second guy wishes he was a bird,so he turns into a bird and flys off, the third guy acsadently falls off the cliff and yells ooh crap!!! and he turns into crap.

Answer 6

Yo Momma so poor, she can't afford powdered water!

Answer 7

Did you hear about the dwarf who took viagra?

He won the 3-legged race! lol...

Answer 8

Yo Momma is so FAT that if she sat on a rainbow skiddles would fall down!!!!!

Answer 9

yo momma is such a whore that her vagina has more friends than Tom on Myspace

Answer 10

QB = ur Question is Best.