My sister in law is so lazy. Everytime we have a family get- together, she always asks me to hold her 1 yr old baby and watch her 2 yr old while she swims, plays cards or eats. If you say no, she'll just walk away with her kids there alone, so you either watch them or they get hurt basically. It's getting to the point to where I dont even want to go to anymore parties with them but I really have no choice. Her kids are real brats. She lets them curse and laughs when they call me the "F" word. She has to be the worst mother ever! I've already raised my kids without pushing them off on people, I dont want to watch hers. What would you do in this situation? I'm so frustrated.
2006-07-03 13:30:33 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The father's there doing the same thing as her. Pushing the kids on everyone else.
2006-07-03 13:40:48 · update #1
I understand exactly how you feel. Our kids are all older now, but my sister-in-law was exactly the same way when our kids were little. I had 3 kids and she had 4. They were all born in a 9 year time frame. Her kids were rough and tumble, don't listen to anyone kinda kids. I got really frustrated with ending up with all 7 kids all the time. Whenever I told her I couldn't watch her kids, she'd get mad at me and wouldn't talk to me for weeks, sometimes months. I tried to watch them when I could because they really didn't have a stable consistent life. I would sometimes watch them for a little while and then take them to her and say that I had to do something else and couldn't watch the kids any more. Now that I am older and all our kids are adults, I wish I would have been more firm and put limits on what I would do. You can't change her, so you'll have to change how you interact with her. People can not use you unless you let them and it took me too many years to learn that. You do have a choice, maybe you could try swimming first or playing cards first before she has a chance to unload her kids on you. Are you the only family member she does this too? If not, try talking to other people who get caught up in watching her kids and try to work something out together. It'll probably cause some hurt feelings, but you may need to say something firm and keep returning her kids to her when they get out of hand. You deserve to enjoy a family gathering just as much as anyone.
2006-07-03 14:03:50 · answer #1 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
You should have a serious talk with your sister. Tell her how you feel, and let her know you will not tolerate it any longer. If you fear her getting really upset, then you have to make a decision- if she really makes an issue out of it, it's not your fault. You cannot control what other ppl do. If you continue to let her walk all over you, at some point you will just snap- and then things will be really bad, and you might say things you may regret. Tell her how you feel- not at one of these get togethers, but rather some place private. Good luck!
2006-07-03 20:40:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, whenever my parents are invited to parties, they are always told to bring me so i can watch all of the kids there. I like kids, but it sucks to be used, and i totally understand where you're coming from. Normally, my parents find a way to get me out of it, but sometimes, i just give them all something to keep them occupied and leave for a bit, and check on them no and again. It doesn't let their real parents know what they do is wrong, but no one gets aggravated or mad b/c you told them off. But b/c she is you're sister in law, you ought to drop hints that watching her children is her job and if all else fails, cry...JK!...no, tell her the truth. (believe me, i would do the same if i could!)
2006-07-03 20:39:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My aunt gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Sadly she never paid her any attention as a toddler. I took care of her, taught her to walk, potty trained and even took her to her first real day of school. At the age of 7 she finally took charge in being her mother. Her daughter loves her so much and will cry to always be with her. She wakes up in the middle of the night just to see if her mother is still there. Her mother still tries to dump her off on weekends. It's so sad.
2006-07-03 20:38:45 · answer #4 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this situation, I would leave her kids do whatever they want. So what if they get hurt? It's her fault and she's not going to learn if she knows you're always going to be there to watch them. Teach her a lesson and don't watch her kids. It's her responsibility. If she gets mad, so what? She's really going to get mad because YOU refuse to take care of HER kids??!! Tell her to grow up!! And if those kids cursed at me, I'd open a can of whupass on them. But that's just me.
2006-07-03 20:39:50 · answer #5 · answered by axiomgeo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable that you would worry about your sisters kids so if she doesn't take care of them at get togethers you take charge, but you have to be able to enjoy yourself too. It's not a big risk to just leave them alone, maybe something will happen (hopefully nothing too bad) and maybe not. If something does then she'll realize that she is irresponsible and needs to pay more attention to her children. They aren't your children! Or you could talk to her about it, it might help...
2006-07-03 20:39:11 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. My brother pushes his 2 boys on EVERYBODY POSSIBLE! He and his wife are both lazy, stupid, selfish, bastards! Your sister in law needs HER mouth washed out with soap if she's ignorant enough to let a TWO YEAR OLD say bad words! Shame on her! Just punch her in the mouth everytime she tries to ask you to watch them, and when she tries to just walk away and stick you with them, kick her really hard in the shins so she CAN'T walk away!
2006-07-03 20:38:31 · answer #7 · answered by pink_phish22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she needs to be and adult and take care of her responsibilitles cause all of this could have been avoided if she kept her legs closed. ANd if she dont want to watch her own kids, then she should pay someone to do it for her.
2006-07-03 20:58:26 · answer #8 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but I would call Child Protective Services, especially if one of the children has been injured (or at risk of being injured) due to her negligence.
I'm sure you've already tried talking to her about it, to no avail. Oh, and where's Dad?
2006-07-03 20:35:59 · answer #9 · answered by blueskies7890 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u look that ho in the face n tell her that u got ur own kids n u WILL NOT BE LEFT WITH HER KIDS NO MORE, u dont like the way they act, she had them she needs to take care of them, if she gets mad OH WELL, call DHS on her, if she isnt gonna take care of them maybe someone else should. tell her she has to be the worst motha u have eva known. if she gets in ur face kick her a.s.s, but put ur foot down now. see that wouldnt be me, bc i would of took them kids back to her n said u spreaded em u deal with em..take ur damn kids they r not mine.
2006-07-03 20:36:15 · answer #10 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋