QUESTION:I don't want to change my last name?

Question

I've been married for a year now and I LOVE my last name. When I was little I knew I would be a successful actress, and now that I am, my husband (of one year) wants me to change my last name to his. Naturally thats the way it goes but I love my last name and I don't want his.
Is all that bad?

Answer 1

~~you can legally change your name and still use your maiden name as your stage name or pen name.... and to ease the blow, tell him you want to do it for privacy reasons, to keep your private life out of the spotlight.~~

Answer 2

Your being an actress, successful or otherwise, has nothing to do with the question. A married woman assuming her new husband's last name is an old tradition, but it is just that, a tradition, not a requirement. Tell your husband how you feel, and why; it's already been a year, so he's had plenty of time to get used to the idea.

Answer 3

The whole changing of the last name thing really means nothing. It doesn't prove your love for him. It is an old-world tradition stemming back from when women "belonged to" their men. If a woman feels comfortable and wants to take her husband's last name, then she should. If a woman is happy with her last name and wants to keep it, then she should. And hell, it's 2006; if a man feels comfortable and wants to take his wife's last name - who is the rest of the world to say that it's wrong? The decision should be solely between the couple involved, and more of the decision rests on the shoulders of the person thinking about changing their name. Let him know that now you are a more well-known person, and changing your name could affect that in a negative way. If your husband truly loves you, he will understand and just want you to be happy. Like I said; whether you have his last name or not doesn't mean you love him any more or any less. It's your decision.

Answer 4

Actors and Actress have screen names or just use a hyphen anyway why would you marry someone if you don't want to take there name?
then if you have kids are they going to have yours or his is this really that big of a deal -I think this is funny people ask this all the time.
Don't get married if you don't want to take your husbands family name or he don't want to take yours? That is the point of getting married you know "to become one" so if you and your hubby can't agree on a last name just pick one you both like and change your names to it so that way you will both have the same last name.

Answer 5

Actually, it is only western society that has made women change their last name to that of their husband's, as a way of showing "ownership." Eastern cultures, particularly Middle Eastern, typically keep the last name given at birth (the last name of the father) to show bloodline/tribe. Even in adoption the child keeps the last name of his/her father. Any Arab would tell you that this is a good way to prevent someone from marrying a sibling they never knew they had.

So, you really aren't forced to take the last name of your husband, it's a matter of choice and in these modern days, more and more women are choosing to keep their "maiden" name after marriage.

Explain your issues to your husband, let him explain his own issues, and if you love each other enough, you will come to a conclusion. Communication is everything.

Answer 6

No way. You should explain to him that just because you want to maintain your own name, it doesn't mean that you do not love him. Tell him you are proud of your name and how it connects you to your family and your heritage... and that people are beginning to associate you with this name as an actress and that changing it now would cause confusion. If he cares about you, and I'm guessing he does, he will understand. Besides, I don't think women should have to be pressured to change their names when they are married. Women are allowed to vote now, and leave the home to get real jobs. They should be able to maintain their surnames too! Maybe you should suggest that he give up his surname for yours, it might just make him see things in another light.

Answer 7

There is nothing that says just because you get married you have to take his name.

My question is, "If you have already been married for a year and you still have your (I assume) madien name, why is he so into the name thing now?" I don't think that there is anything wrong with keeping things the way they are, as they have been since the day you were married.

Congratulations on your success. And now that you are successful, your name is what people will recognize....changing it could possible cause problems for you (and him).

And congratulations on your one year anniversary!

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with not changing your name, especially since you have a very valid profession reason for the decision. But at the end of the day, it's about identity. Maybe you should ask him to get down to the real nuts and bolts about WHY he wants you to change your name. Or on the flip side of the coin, why does he not want you to keep your current name?

Answer 9

if you don't have kids then keep your name. I would want the same name as my children. I never got my SS card changed so I still have my maiden name after 13 years.....lol
I have 4 names on my drivers licenses.
So whatever you like. I don't see the big deal in having his name. You are married and together that should be enough.
☺

Answer 10

You don't have to change your last name legally...people that send you invitations should know that the correct way to address the envelope to a married couple, despite that the wife's last name is different, is Mr. and Mrs. John (whatever HIS last name is)...not Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Mary Smith. And when your husband introduces you, he does not need to introduce you as Mary Smith, but simply as "my wife, Mary". As far as the name you use on credit cards and other legal documents, who cares. I think what your husband really wants is to feel more secure because he feels like as long as your name is different than his then your relationship isn't as stable as it could be, which is ludicrous thinking to say the least!

Answer 11

I never changed my last name. I just didn't want to bother. But I do answer to Mrs. HusbandsName when I'm called that without making a big issue of it. The one place it is awkward is when you have kids and your last name is different from theirs, but it's not a biggie. If your husband is really fixated on you changing your name, try to work a compromise so that the name you love remains your professional name, but you use your husband's last name socially.