and she doesnt want me to have anything to do with the daughter cause i dont want to be with her, she had me served with fake restraining order papers(had a cop look it up) they arent in their system they got rejected due to no cause or something like that. I recently got her new house number, should I call her and try to spend time with my daughter even though i dont want to be with the mom? I have no ideal how to proceed, but she doesnt want me involved and I want to be it would cost a lot of money for a dna test and court costs I just want to see her you know?
2006-07-03 13:23:58 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
ok I not on birth certificate at all, took the day off work to be there and be put on it because i had to be there since we are not married. I offered to sign proof of parentage, and pay money, have given her money in the past for the child. I called one night to see her and was told she was at her parents house being baby sat and that I couldnt go there two days later I got the restraining order, and all their numbers were changed. Last time I talked to her she was talking about getting married and our daughter is only 6mos right now.
2006-07-03 13:41:28 · update #1
You need to mediate an agreement with the mom. If you are not married, in some states you will have to pay child support, but you are not the legal father. DNA tests or not. Social services in your county will know the details.
There are two sides to every story, and I don't know hers. What I do know is that your daughter needs the two of you to figure out some way of behaving in a civil manner - whether you ever agree to patch things up between you or not.
Don't do anything that looks like stalking. Get a mediator. He or she will contact the mom for you and ask her to agree to mediation. If she won't, get a lawyer. Don't threaten or try to intimidate her. Don't do anything that you wouldn't want your daughter to hear about when she's older. Be as proactive as possible.
You may want to consider counseling as well. You may need a safe person to process your anger and frustration with as you move through this ordeal.
2006-07-03 13:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by Contemplative Chanteuse IDK TIRH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to be an active person in your daughters life, and not one who is in and out of it then she would benefit. Why have you waited even 6 mos? What happens if you meet and marry someone else and have kids? will you still be there for your daughter all the time? Yes, kids from unmarried couple deserve the love of both, IF the non custodial parent is going to be there all the time and often. If not, then let her be adopted by the man the mother marries.. Kids need a stable life. It shouldn't be about how the parents get along or if one doesn't want to be with the other. Why haven't you been paying support since birth? This money helps buy what your daughter needs. Do you ever buy her gifts for no reason? You have no rights until you prove with a paternity test you are the father, if your name isn't on the birth certificate. If you truly love your daughter,are sincere and proceed with legal action,make sure you fulfill every part of being a dad.It's for life. Not just when it's convenient for you. She is the one who will suffer if you don't. Think first,and do what is best for her,then you. I wish you all the best in whatever you choose.
2006-07-03 21:11:25 · answer #2 · answered by nativeamericantay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, how long has this been going on - how old is your daughter? There are attorneys that give free phone advice so you would know if you have a case and then how to proceed. Maybe try to call social services and ask how to find out what your rights are. If the girl is refusing monetary help from you, can you send checks anyway? It might be proof that you're attempting to support the child . There should be a place where you could find out what your rights are without costing alot. If they made you pay for a dna test, it would still be worth it in the long run. Best of Luck!
2006-07-03 20:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by bonbon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not consider the cost of the DNA test, or the lawyer you are going to need to press your claim for visitation rights. If you love your daughter and want to see her, go about it the legal way. Then if her mother gives you trouble, the judge will intervene. If you can't afford the DNA test and the lawyer, perhaps the child's grandparents (i.e., your parents) will feel they have a vested interest and help you with the costs.
Good luck! I suspect you're going to need it. When the mother starts out with such deceitful acts as fake restraining order papers, she's not going to be easy to deal with. Let your lawyer handle it, and keep her at arm's length. The court will set up a neutral space (we have one in our county called The Parent Place) where you can see your daughter.
2006-07-03 20:31:09 · answer #4 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a shame that she would deny her daughter a daddy because he doesnt want the Mother. Unless there is a really good reason, then she is being hopelessly immature and incredibly selfish. I do not know where you live, so I have no idea about the cost of Paternity testing, etc. Your best bet is to find an attorney and file for your legal rights to see your child, and/or contact a community legal counsellor to find out what to do. Good luck to you.
2006-07-03 20:29:27 · answer #5 · answered by LuLuBelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would ask why you have a daugther with a girl that you are not with but think i know that answer-are you supporting the child-children can use a fathers help also-this is something that you and the girl need to work out if possible without court that would create even more hurt feelings and then the kid is stuck in the middle-good luck-hug your daughter if you get the chance and tell her that you love her-keep the peace old hippie here
2006-07-03 20:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by bergice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your name on the child's birth certificate? Are you paying child support? If yes to one or both of these questions, you have a right to see your child. You don't have to have anything to do with the child's mother...visitations can be arranged and suitable people can be assigned to "pick up and return" the child to her mother.
You might want to consider contacting a local free legal service agency? Or maybe child services?
Good luck, and I hope you can soon see your daughter. God Bless.
2006-07-03 20:30:55 · answer #7 · answered by sisbee8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her be and go thru the courts....otherwise the next restraining order will be real! Go to court and speak to a court clerk, they can tell you what your options are, a lawyer is NOT necessary.
2006-07-03 20:29:02 · answer #8 · answered by Dan R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez dude. See a lawyer already and get your life straightened out. Don't let your daughter grow up without the other parent. We have enough screwed up kids in society already.
2006-07-03 20:27:10 · answer #9 · answered by E3_E3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got to be kidding me!So you know for a fact during that time she never slept with anyone else? Take a hike and get those tubes tied and screw all you Want!
2006-07-03 20:31:36 · answer #10 · answered by heartache53 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋