Why do I want to ruin my relationship? I've got baggage but I have found the most wonderful guy who is patient with me and caring and kind... and I sometimes just feel like running away and calling it quits. It would hurt me and I know it would hurt him. I do not want to live life without him so why.... then do I want to just call him and say sorry, I can't do this?
2006-07-03 13:20:41 · 14 answers · asked by girlysledgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like maybe you think you arent worthy of the relationship. If so, you have to consciously tell yourself that you are deserving of happilness. Have a good, honest talk with your boyfriend; you will feel much better. I hope things work out for you both.
2006-07-03 13:23:13 · answer #1 · answered by LuLuBelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are afraid. Some people believe that the only purpose in happiness is to make run for unhappiness. Though that does hold some truth, it is not worth losing something that wonderful over. Do not be afraid to be happy. Live in the moment!! Love, cherish and relish in it for what it is worth. So many of us wish that we could find a man like that. You are a lucky person. It is good that you know that you are having these feelings and where they are coming from. Do not let your past wreck your future. If you honestly feel that you are not going to be able to give him your all and be committed then you need to let him know what you are feeling and you need to let him go. You do not want to do to him what others have done to you. Maybe you moved into this relationship too quickly.
2006-07-03 20:25:57 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been abandoned. It was a traumatic experience and you felt rejected. As a result, you are scared of getting too close to someone because there is always the possibility of them leaving you first - and you'll feel rejected all over again.
Your behaviour results from a few Defense Mechanisms, as defined by Sigmund Freud. First, you are experiencing Dissociation - you didn't have the opportunity to express your feelings from the traumatic situation, leaving the situation unresolved for you. Now that you are in a similarly close relationship, your post-poned feelings can now be expressed: your vengeance, your fear, your sense of abandonment.
Dissociation is often accompanied by Projection - blaming the man you mentioned for feelings that you have or actions that you take, or more notably, accusing him of taking the same actions that hurt you the first time.
Now, you're running away from the situation because you don't have the guts to face your feelings. You have two choices - face your feelings now, or face the consequences of your actions later.
2006-07-03 20:44:51 · answer #3 · answered by DB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you apparently have no idea what you want, and in the process of this you are going to hurt someone that apparently was silly enough to want you. You could wake up, realize that you aren't going to be able to party forever and expect your looks or being cute to get ya by but for maybe another 10 years than after that you're screwed. You should dump him! That way you will save the divorce down the road after you have 3 kids and decide you still want to have "your freedom." People like you make me wanna vomit!
2006-07-03 20:27:00 · answer #4 · answered by tedlamkin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to deal with the baggage --- never get into a relationship unless you have dealt with problems in your past and you are emotionally stable,your heart has healed and you ready for a new relationship ... make sure the other person is on the same level as well....
2006-07-03 20:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u must be afraid to have a good relationship with this guy? did had bad relationships before and they treated u like crap? if so u need to sit down and think about it. if u really love this person and he treats u like gold then u must appericate everything he does for you. don't messed it up because u may never get another chance again. God bless u and hope I helped sweetie.
2006-07-03 20:26:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is obvious that you are not happy, and you're right, you should run away and call it quits until you're ready. don't wanna hurt him? you already are by trying his patience, what's worse YOU might lose HIM. if it's really meant to be he'll wait for you. just get better, GET OVER IT.
2006-07-03 20:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by Eryc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i think your all mixed up and confused i i i just dont know what to say may be we sould just go surfing and have a nice day at the beach. because thats life some beach
2006-07-03 20:26:33 · answer #8 · answered by gofetch29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been feeling the same way about my relationship. I think maybe you could be tired of him and feeling irritable.
2006-07-03 20:23:58 · answer #9 · answered by song no one singz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
COMMITMENT iissues girl you should feel lucky to have a good guy and appriciate him. if your not going to apprciate him then let him go find a girl who will im sure he will get over you.
2006-07-03 20:25:37 · answer #10 · answered by MiZZ CURiiOUS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋