2006-07-03 13:12:20 · 17 answers · asked by cmeadorsatx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
'hey dad killed someone and if you want to see him you'll have to go to the bighouse"
2006-07-03 13:16:33 · answer #1 · answered by stanyazfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I disagree with anyone who thinks you shouldn't tell them; at 11 and 13 they are certainly going to hear it elsewhere, if not from you. It's much better coming from someone that loves them.
Tell them that their father loves them.
Tell them that people, no matter how good they are, sometimes make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are small, and sometimes they are very, very big.
Tell them that we can say we are sorry for some mistakes, and be forgiven, but that there are other mistakes that are so serious that sometimes the government has to step in and punish the people who made those mistakes.
Tell them that while they might not like the punishment, that most people feel there have to be rules that everyone lives by and that, when you break the rules, people need to know that there are consequences.
Tell them that you wish there was some easy way to tell them this. Tell them that you know that they will miss their father, and that is to be expected...because sometimes the things we do hurt people we never intended to hurt in a million years, and that their father didn't want to hurt them in that way,
I hope that will help, a little. I don't envy you, and certainly wish you and your family well.
2006-07-03 13:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by P. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! What a tough task you have ahead of you. Not too sure how to answer this question seeing that I have never been in the situation before. I will offer this advice though, as a mother of 4, I think you should be open and honest with them. Children are a lot tougher than we give them credit for. Be ready to answer any questions they may have. Don't try and sugar coat it. End the conversation with letting them know that if they ever want to talk that they can always come to you, that you will be there. (Don't have them thinking that it is a "taboo" subject, they may keep their feelings in and begin acting out). If you don't mind my asking....How are you doing? How are you holding up? They will take notice of that as well......if you fall apart, they may do the same.........
2006-07-03 13:22:27 · answer #3 · answered by Tee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sit down and just tell them,the 13 year should be able to handle it better than the 11 year old I think you should tell them seperate.But honesty is always best because you know if you try and sugar coat it then they'll grow up and hate you for not telling them the truth.And God knows if anyone else get a ear of this you know like neighbors then some of them have grown *** children you don't want them to hear that way,so mom you just sit down and talk to your boys and try to explain to them slowly and answer any questions they have honestly.Godluck mom.
2006-07-03 13:19:30 · answer #4 · answered by dccuttie75 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
13 & 11 yrs old have a pretty good understanding about what you tell them.
Just be calm & go easy on them. Tell them their dad has gone away to prison for a very long time, for doing something bad! If they ask why, then you have a choice to tell them or not. Just go with your instincts tells you!
Most of all good luck!
2006-07-03 13:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by • Jen • 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, with a whole lot of love and sensitivity. Be open to answering whatever questions they have. Try to leave all judgment of his wrong doing to Divine (by whatever name you choose). If I were you I'd tell them that their father is sick in his mind and angry -- and that unresolved anger creates rage and rage can kill. I'd really focus on ways to help your kids gain emotional awareness, encouraging them to talk about stuff openly...because in the long run this is what helps THEM not make bad choices. Allow them to feel their feelings about this sad news -- they may be angry for a while, and this is normal. So long as they have your love and acceptance and feel safe to talk to you, they should do fine.
That is very sad; sorry to hear it. :-( Hope everything works out for you and your kids.
BTW -- also what PM said, above me...excellent answer
2006-07-03 13:23:39 · answer #6 · answered by Brooklynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-05 21:38:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them directly. You don't have to be brutal with details or anything like that, but 11 and 13 should be old enough that they can understand their father broke the law and is being punished for it.
2006-07-03 13:19:16 · answer #8 · answered by ccmonty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very carefully, i dont know the circumstances of what happened, but depending on how brutal, you may want to down play it a little, tell them that dad got upset and did something regretful, that ended up hurting someone really bad, and he wont be around for a very long time.
2006-07-03 13:17:40 · answer #9 · answered by goldie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you you should write them a country song, put on a tube top, climb on top of your home and sing it to the entire trailer park.
2006-07-03 13:17:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry you have to tell them the Gareth or they will never no what happen. and if you ever need help you can Emil me at brandonyellen3@yahoo.com
2006-07-03 13:20:38 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋