My 21 year old son has ADD and is very hostile and impulsive and loves to annoy his 16 year old brother. After years and years of this constant annoying my youngest son has built up anger issues with his brother. They fight constantly. Not just the verbal fights but, the physical fights until the police is usually called. Does it get better and how do I regain peace in my house before I can't take anymore myself. And there is more. My mother lives with us as well and she thinks just because my oldest son (21) has ADD he is incapable of taking care of himself so she defends him and places all blame on my other son as well as myself. She believes we should make allowances for him because he has ADD. Sorry I don't buy into that. Maybe where school was concerned but, being hateful to his brother is no excuse. Is my mom also in the wrong for babying him. Please help.
2006-07-03 11:36:53 · 6 answers · asked by Marbles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They will fight as long as they live in the same house. Throw the ADD one out. Let him join the Army or support himself. Tell him the gravy train has ended. You are right ADD is not an excuse. He's going to have to learn to control himself. My Mom had only two kids. My brother and I. We fought like rabid animals until we were about 15, then we had a truce and even became friends once we started college and didn't live together. Your older ADD nutcase is the problem so is your Mother. Throw her out and let her take the 21 year old. You have my sympathy.
2006-07-03 11:56:56 · answer #1 · answered by Superstar 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
is your 21 son on medication? If you think his ADD has something to do with it, demand he be on medication. If he refuses, tell him he has to leave until he is better.
Your 21 year old should not behave so immaturely. Despite ADD, you should sit him down and tell him the rules for being around you and your son, and if he doesn't abide by them, he will lose the privilege of getting to be around his family. If he ignores you, get a restraining order. I know that sounds harsh, but he is 21 and can take care of himself. He is also breaking the law by hitting a minor. Sibling abuse can be just as bad as abuse from a husband. Wouldn't you leave your husband if he treated your son like that?
2006-07-03 11:42:01 · answer #2 · answered by mountain_laurel1183 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a very similar situation...I have three sons though, and I wondered like you if it would ever end. Yes....they mature. Unfortunately it does leave its scars, but you can only be the good mother you are and be with both of them for when it's needed. My mother was like that to my eldest son too, and yes...it was very frustrating but time moves people along. My sons now respect each other...they've all left home and got good trades...the eldest joined the army. My younger sons still have issues with their elder brother...but they all have their own lives now and so do I...I am always there for them...keeping the family together though. Good luck....give yourself time.
2006-07-03 11:44:31 · answer #3 · answered by westie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think your mom is wrong. Treat everyone equaly, even if that means equal punishment. When ever they get in fights punish him, by any means, I don't mean beating or anything but a good strong punishment that will get the message across not to hit your brother. If that doesn't work, I'm sorry.
2006-07-03 11:42:19 · answer #4 · answered by Shorty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, they will fight probably until very old
yes you should raise your kids not your mom she's partially responsible for his misbehavior
ADD means you need to focus more and work harder is not a free pass to be an ***, try to get him in line before someone else does
2006-07-03 11:41:46 · answer #5 · answered by I'm a brain in a Jar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boys will be boys......
2006-07-03 11:55:35 · answer #6 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋