My fiance and i are cracking down on wedding planning. We are having a problem with the potential size of our wedding party. At first we wanted only a small wedding, neither of our families are helping us financially with the wedding b/c i already have a child. But he insists that we have all 5 of his brothers as bestman/groomsmen (which i understand, you can't just pick 1 or 2) so I have chosen my 4 closest friends and his 14yr old sister. B/c his sister is in the wedding, he feels obligated to ask my brother to be a groomsman (my brother could care less). Initially we had planned to cover the cost of all the dresses/tuxes, but if he insists on having my brother as part of it, (which in turn means i must add a person to the bride's side), we will have to cut corners somewhere else (food, decorations etc). We are on a tight budget. Is it tacky to ask each member of the wedding party to pay 1/2 the cost of their dress/tux? Our "small wedding" has turned into a"huge" ordeal.
2006-07-03 11:22:35 · 10 answers · asked by Carrington 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
if your brother doesn't care, then don't include him. I've never seen a wedding with more than 4 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids each. 12 would be more then you can afford, and more then you could need, and looks-wise it would overwhelm the bride and groom.
Only rent the tuxes, and find cheap dresses if you can. It could be a little tacky to ask them to pay for half, but if you're close to these people they'll understand and shouldn't mind too much.
www.therosedress.com has lots of cheap dresses, though i have no idea if they'd be at all appropriate for your wedding. its a start though.
Also, it's not necessary to have a desert and cake at a wedding, and depending on the time of day, its not even necessary to serve a full meal. And there's cheaper places that can cater.
doing your research will save you money. But very important is to try and relax and to stress as little as possible, because this is just a small part on the path to your future. So get it off to a good start if you can. I wish you the best of luck!
2006-07-03 11:37:22 · answer #1 · answered by solitusfactum 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, you are wedding over-stressed! This has gotten way out of hand, huh?! There is a much easier solution to the whole problem--no family members AT ALL in the wedding party. You each pick ONE attendant from amongst friends and call it good. As a matter of good sense, you have a child to care for, and I am so sure that you can find a better use for your money than paying out all that money for one day. If your fiance keeps insisting, even tho you are against it, I would reconsider the whole marriage thing. If you can't even make the altar deal, what is it going to be like after? Leopards do not change their spots. OK, that was way more than you asked, but it is offered only to help. No malicious intent at all.
2006-07-03 11:37:11 · answer #2 · answered by Waferette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! We are also having five on each side. We were going to make it six on each side be decided to ask two of them to be an usher/personal attendant instead. This way, we stick with five and then we get an usher, (plus we asked someone else to be an usher, too) and I get a wedding "helper". :-) Maybe your brother could be an usher?
Where I am from (WI) you don't pay for your attendants dresses/tux. Maybe where you live it is different? Either way, I think you can explain to them that you would love for them to be in the wedding and due to the fact you both are paying everything youself you're not going to be able to help out with their dress/tux rental. If anyone has a problem with that, they can say, No. Maybe if they all say yes, and one of them comes to you and tells you they really can't afford it, you can help just that one person. Of course you wouldn't let ANYONE else know this, but it would be a way of helping that one who wouldn't be able to afford to be in your wedding.
If you really think you need to pay for them, I would say don't pay for more than half. They'll be thankful you're offering that I'm sure! Good luck!
2006-07-03 11:36:00 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone will be focused on you and how beautiful you look, so you cn have as many attendants as you want. I had 8.
As for their formal wear, bridesmaids and groomsmen are responsible for paying for their dress, tux, shoes, travel arrangements to get to the wedding and a gift. Also if they get their hair done/ or make up done, they should pay for that too.
You could give them their jewelry that they will be wearing as their thank you gift.
Good luck and enjoy your day!
2006-07-04 15:47:35 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't simultaneously have a inexpensive wedding AND a wedding with 10 to 12 attendants in formal wear! Make up your minds! Either you have to cut down on the number of attendants or you have to exchange the fancy gowns and rented tuxedos for some less formal (and less costly) attire.
2006-07-03 11:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't understand why would anyone would want tooo many groomsmen why can have one for you and one for your future husband. Make no sense. For Daughter to get married yourparents responsible for helping your wedding cost. and you can ask your future husband to see if his parents can help. I would do that same thing with my son if needed help. and or just go and get married at court house and then everyone can come to wedding next year. at park or something. That what I did and sure save me alot of money like2,000 dollars
2006-07-03 11:33:55 · answer #6 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have them pay for their own tuxs and give them plenty of time to know and have the fittings what what i did i paided for all the things and the grooms tux and the others paided for the clothing it is your day plan it the way you want to have it make some cuts to stay in the budget and be happy and good luck for the special day for you all. my folks didnt help either of course they are both dead. and try to keep it simple for yourselfs too.
2006-07-03 11:48:41 · answer #7 · answered by LENORE P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'Small' weddings just don't happen anymore. It's more common now for the wedding party to have to pay for their outfits, too, so I wouldn't stress about it. Just give them plenty of notice if you do want them to pay any/all of it. Best of luck!
2006-07-03 11:31:34 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, the wedding party is supposed to cover the costs, unless otherwise specified.
I know.
2006-07-03 11:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is generous for you to offer to pay half - where I'm from, attendants take care of their own clothes for the wedding.
2006-07-04 04:01:01 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋