I just got back from Las Vegas with my boyfriend and three of our friends (all of them are guys). They are all 21 and above, and I am 18. My boyfriend went to a few strip clubs one night for 7 hours! I told him I didn't mind him going, and he said he wouldn't be gone very long. He knows that I have been raped and am afraid to walk the streets of a big city alone. Seven hours later, he called me up to say that he was across town and needed me to come pick him up from the strip club in my car. I picked him up, and he spent the next 2 days talking about nothing but "breasts and bitches." This kind of talk really made me feel bad. When I asked him to please be more considerate of my feelings, he said, "All you do is ***** and moan." I started crying, and he told me that I have been a crappy person. All of my friends are guys and have become his friends, too. I think they are more loyal to him. What do I do?
2006-07-03 11:00:47 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Am I overreacting?
2006-07-03 11:49:20 · update #1
kick him out
2006-07-03 11:03:04 · answer #1 · answered by Peace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb. As your boyfriend, he shouldn't have the desire to go to the strip clubs. With that desire he is showing you a major amount of disrespect. Also, since he is aware of your being raped in the past, it serves only his needs to make you feel insecure by his behavior, and if you look deep inside of yourself, you will find that it hurts you as well. To top it off, he talks about the other peoples bodies, and not yours. He should be telling you how much better you and your body is in comparison to all of the other woman in the world. He should be showing you respect, and he isn't. Then the fact that he asked you to drive across town to pick him up from a strip club only serves to add insult to injury. You are a very beautiful lady, andyou deserve more from a guy. What you are experiencing here is the behavior of a self centered boy. You need to find a man that will understand you and where you are coming from and that will respect you at all times as well as help you nregain your dignity. Dump this jerk for your own self respect. I would like to add, on my own thought, nothing that you said here. If you are having sex with a guy, please refrain from it any more, unless you are married. The tragedy of the rape has demoralized you, and by having premarital sex, it allows you to stay in a place in your life that you need to get beyond. Remember no ring, no zing. You will feel better in the long run, and it will give you the chance to avoid guys like the jerk you are with now.
2006-07-03 11:13:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him... First he didn't offer to take you with him to the clubs and then the attitude problem. That will not go away! Only in about 20 years when he is more mature and realizes he is screwing up but you don't need that sh*t. Life is too short so you need to make the right moves now. It sounds like you need a new group of friends and some girl friends as well. You are running around with the wrong crowd. I'd say it's time to make some changes in your life and not look back.
2006-07-03 11:11:19 · answer #3 · answered by Patagoniakidd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you have to ask the question, you know the right answer is kick him to the curb. If a man loves you he doesn't treat you that way. This guy obviously feels nothing for you and is just with you for the benefits and not for the relationship. You deserve better so kick him to the curb and move on. If the people you thought were your friends decide that they are his friends instead then you've only really lost a lot of dead weight in terms of people who would never have been true to you in long run anyway.
2006-07-03 11:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife has been raped, and from the day I found out about it when we started dating, I have tried to be very considerate about the issue with her. For your boyfriend to do something like that to you, knowing the trauma you had gone through, tells me he is an inconsiderate asshole.
I could understand him needing some time with the guys, but to leave you alone for seven hours in a city you don't know, and then ask you to come pick you up after wards screams one loud word to me and that is, USER!! He is selfish, and you deserve better then that babe! Get rid of this loser!!!
2006-07-03 11:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by rhino 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve a man who cares for you at least as much, and ideally more, as he cares for himself. Yes, you told him that he could go, but then he abandoned (yes, let's call it what it is) you in a big city for seven hours knowing that you might be uncomfortable there...There sure isn't much to do in Vegas if you are only 18. He should've known that. You came on that trip to be the designated driver for those guys.
Anyone who tells you that you are bitching and moaning when you share your feelings with him is not the sort of person that you want to waste your time on. Not to mention, anyone who is crude enough to refer to any woman as a *****, objecify her, and then talk about it in front of his girl does not HONOR women. This boy (he isn't a man, regardless of his age) will not honor or respect you the way that you deserve. Respect yourself enough to find a better boyfriend and better "friends" - those other guys are his friends, not yours.
2006-07-03 11:15:27 · answer #6 · answered by connorsmom916 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would kick him to the curb! You are not going to marry this guy because if he really respected you he would not have gone. Since you did let him go, he should have enough respect for you to not talk about it. If you stay with the guy, that is your choice, but you are still younge and you will date many more guys. Heck, I am 24 and I am still dating! You got a long time to go. The best thing to do, is just date other guys to see what you want in a guy.
2006-07-03 11:09:37 · answer #7 · answered by Joel H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok i can see him talking about it a day after but not keep on talking about it. I would be pissed to if he left for 7 hours while you guys went out of town together. I think that he's not showing respect for you and that maybe you should move on. You can find someone else to be with and that will take you out and be with you the whole time and not disrespect woman by talking about them and calling them ho's.
2006-07-03 11:18:40 · answer #8 · answered by jean22005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would kick him to the curb. Obviously thinking about himself comes more easily to your boyfriend than thinking about you, and it should be the other way around. If he treats you disrespectfully now and doesn't keep his word, what makes you think that in the future that's going to be different? I would get out of the relationship now before things get complictated and it becomes harder to leave. You need someone considerate and who is willing to help you through the difficulties of your past. Why remain with someone who causes you pain, when you could be with someone who wants nothing more than to see you without pain? He's out there.
2006-07-03 11:07:15 · answer #9 · answered by Ren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out honey, you deserve better than that. And sorry about the rape, I really feel for you, I have had the same experience and I know what it feels like not being able to go anywhere without fear. This guy is makig it worse so kick him out straight away. Good luck honey!
2006-07-03 11:08:28 · answer #10 · answered by ezzaphill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick his lame as$ to the curb! If he is going to disrespect you like that, why do you need him? If you're worried about your friends being more loyal to him, make new ones. Get rid of him before things get worse.
2006-07-03 11:06:33 · answer #11 · answered by Manda Bear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋