my boyfriend visits his ex wife every day even when i ask him not too, their kids are left, what is going on?

Question

He says she is his only friend, do you think more is going on between them, as he seems to be making more and more excuses to go and visit her, their children are grown adults. Am i being made a fool off?

I have gone with him on a couple of occasions and she has made me very welcome... its just i feel very uncomfortable as she knows all about our life and tries to discuss it with me. He also lies about being there when i know he has been. I know what you are all thinking, why doesnt he just leave me and go back to her, if its her he wants???

He makes up excuses, like, he has had mail delivered there or her car needs looking at etc........I have told him to choose her or me and he says me and that he wont go there again, yet he does again the next day.....

His ex wife does not have another man in her life. The ex tells me she wont stop him coming over as she will always be there for him, but she is finding it difficult to get on with her life with him always there. Such a mystery huh???

I dont like the fact they were married really and he has cheated on me with her once in the past. It just seems whenever we angue he runs striaght to her and I dont like it

Answer 1

I have been in a very similar situation and it turned out he was lying to me all along. In the end he admitted he wanted us both for different reasons, and just couldnt choice - so i choose for him and chucked him, I suggest you d the same otherwise it will lead to lots of heartache like it did for me. GL X

Answer 2

Some people do not work as a married couple but work great as friends without there being any other feelings involved. If this is the case then I would say you need to try and relax and trust him more. Are you upset because she is female or because they were married? It is a situation which requires compromise on both sides. You should not be dictating who he can have as a friend and he should be respectful of your feelings. He can still be friends without seeing her everyday. What about telling him how you feel and suggesting he cuts it down to a couple of times a week because you are struggling to deal with this. I would be more suspicious if she was being truthful in finding it difficult having him there all the time and maybe you both need to speak to him together about it. I would be questioning also what he has in his life and on his mind that he needs a friend so much. I have friends but don't feel the need to see them everyday so perhaps there is something wrong somewhere. Be honest with him and then yourself, can you still be in a relationship with him if this hurts you so much.

Answer 3

Absolutely my husband has small children with an old girlfriend and i closely monitor his going over there...he isn't allowed to hang out pick the kids up give her the child support and leave except of course for birthday parties for the kids and such then he stays longer and I'm always invited.... There is no reason for him to go if he wants to be her friend fine you be her friend to lol visit every time he goes because you can bet your bottom dollar there is more to the situation if he is visiting a woman everyday when there is no small children there and no reason for him to be there. If you just can not pretend to be her friend demand this behavior stop and if he isn't willing kick his *** to the curb and start again.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

It's a hard one. I am the wife in my situation and my ex-husband comes over all the time, even when he knows the kids aren't here. I like him and I've spent a lot of my life with him but I don't want to be with him anymore and I've asked him and he says the same. We weren't much good at being husband and wife but we were always good friends so it would be a shame if we were forced to stop being friends. I don't love him, don't fancy him but can't imagine him out of my life completely.

I would like to think that I could be friends with his girlfriend but I know it's unrealistic, unless she is very understanding. I have had a boyfriend and they were OK with eachother but my boyfriend moved away and I didn't want to leave my family.

Sorry, I've waffled on and haven't really answered your question. Just wanted to let you know I sympathise.

Answer 6

My first thought is yes he is sleeping with her. There is little reason to visit an ex once a month let alone every day especially if the kids are grown.

Communicate to him that you are not comfortable with the amount of time he spends with her. He will probably reply he is spending time with kids. If that is all that is going on he should have no problem with you coming with him.

Answer 7

He has no reason to go and see her if the children are grown up. You are being made to feel like the other woman and thats not on. You have to put your foot down with him its not fair on you and if he loves you he will understand that this is not fair. Try and get him to see it from your point of view what if you where seeing your ex all the time while he was at home i doubt he would like it would he? Good luck hun

Answer 8

You should remind him that she is an "EX" - which means something went wrong with their relationship.. Remind him that you need him being around you - not his ex wife..

Unfortunatly he is probably having his cake & eating it - but it might be true that their friends... if you dont live with someone, its easier to get along & if they used to be married - they could be best friends... Stress - "His only friend - what about me?"

If his visits are really getting to you - tell him you're having a break & go away for the weekend somewhere - but dont tell him where.. Let him stress about where youre going..

Lastly - If it was me - I'd say - her or me! full stop....

Have fun!

Answer 9

You have asked a very leading question. What do you think is going on?

Do you smell or see anything for you to be worried about? I would did a little deeper. Maybe do a little bit of spy work. If there is more to it than friends he will slip and fall down in it hard.

However, if it makes you that uncomfortable, I would express it to him anyway I could. Tears will tear him up if you mean anything to him at all. If not, he doesn't deserve you.

Answer 10

It sounds to me she is playing the guilt card. You have not stated if this woman has another man in her life presently, but if not, he may feel he has left her alone and wishes to fill the role as 'man of the house' to do all things he has once done for her. She may be claiming to be alone and helpless as a ploy to keep him around. Does he caretake her home? To this, I mean the maintenance tasks he had done prior to their parting. She may claim helplessness and if so, he may feel very responsible to see over her in this way. Him being 'her only friend' suggests he is being guilted into this.
Good luck to you!

Answer 11

I am afraid that thee seems to be more going on than he would have you believe.
No man wants to spend more time with their ex-wife than absolutely necessary.
Confront him with your suspiscions & see what he says.
If you still think he is cheating then leave him. Don't look back. Just get the hell out of there. You deserve a man who treats you with a little respect.