i dont understand relationships with mothers?

Question

i love her she loves me.i dont understand why she doesnt send money to help me out.i live far away with my man.he is good to me.does everything he can for me.he needs help too.i cant work do to being bipolar 1.i need her help.sometimes she helps sometimes she doesnt.i have dificulty with her calling me two.

i dont ask my mom for anything.i like only one or two answers i was giving.me and my man are from disaster areas due to hurricane katrina.i am having issues getting a doctor here in pittsburgh right now.i am trying.

dad is not around alcoholic he is.

Answer 1

Sounds like she is trying to pretty much make you stand on your own two feet - stay in therapy (if you are); stay on your meds (if you have them); keep trying to be your own person. It sounds like it is also possible that she feels that, since you are living away from home with a partner, that the partner should now take on that fiscal responsibility for you. I am not sure I disagree.

If you are old enough and well enough to make the decision to live with this guy and he is old enough to make the decision to bring you into his life, then the two of you need to be making your decisions as to your financial life based NOT on what your mother can send to you but rather on what the two of you have to do to take care of yourselves.

I spent 26 years taking care of a bipolar parent - my own mother - and I now can see all the mistakes I made; especially letting her giver herself over to my being completely responsible for her. I have a psych degree and I met with all her psychiatrists on a regular basis, so it wasn't like I wasn't informed. I have only myself to blame.

If the two of you - your "man" and you - need outside help to make it financially, then you need to move home....or do whatever it takes to live within your means. Even if you are bipolar, there may be work you can do at home to help out financially. Ask your doctor what s/he thinks you can do for yourself. It could be very theraputic.

Don't assume your mother is being unkind. She may be doing the best thing for you.

Answer 2

I suppose u have never heard of the fact tht when u leave ur home to live with ur man, he should b able to support u. If he can't, he got u both into a mess. Don't blame ur mom for it. U should b thankful she seldom sends u money. It's a prevelege, not ur right. Have u been there for her when she needed u? ask urself tht Q. Good luck!

Answer 3

You're mother feel like you made the decision to move out of her home so you are no longer her responsibility.You are now your man's responsibility.I have to agree with her too.I have a sister who expects financial help from our mom because her boyfriend is a loser and uses his check for himself and not my sister or their kids.Now my sister is pregnant again with twins!That's 4 kids total that my mom has to support.I don't pity my sister because she chose the life she wanted.We ALL make our own decisions when it comes to ourselves.There are bi-polar people who hold productive jobs,so you CAN too. Be Blessed! Monica

P.S.What are you going to do when God calls your mother home? Be lost.....

Answer 4

She would comprehend you're having sex, yet that would not advise she's pleased with it. She pretty would not want you doing it once you're interior an same homestead as her, or in her homestead even as she's no longer there. it would make her sense disrespected, in a way. about your acquaintances having them and also you no longer--that's all contained in the parenting. My mom lets my boyfriend stay over and are available over even as she's no longer homestead, yet having pronounced that, she is popular with we are no longer having sex, because we both comprehend we are no longer waiting for that. it truly relies upon on the own perspectives of the father and mother.

Answer 5

Your mother shouldnt be responsible for you If you are living on your own and with your boyfriend..She raised you, now it time for your Boyfriend to step up to the plate and be a man, if you cant work. She shouldnt have to help you out now...she did it for 18 years!! Grow up and become a responsible person and learn to take care of yourself...They are many bi-polar people that work.

Answer 6

Because there comes a time when a mother most let go. And there is medication for being bipolar, there are jobs out there for people who are mental retarded and they still find jobs. So I am sure there is something for you, there are places that help people with disabilities or disorders get jobs.

Answer 7

first of all get control the best you can with medication.
if you are mature enough to be living with a man and
away from your mother, then you are grown up and
should not need or expect her to send money. sounds
like this is her way of showing tough love. i know it is
tough, but get your act as together as you can and learn
to stand on your own two feet.

Answer 8

I know people with bipolar and they work. They take their medicines and work all day everyday.
I don't know about the money thing but maybe you are asking too much from your mother .
She can only give and do so much for you.

Answer 9

Once you moved out of her home, her responsibility to take care of you ended. It's now your "man's" responsibility. If he's not up to the task, maybe you should get rid of him and move back in with mom.

Answer 10

I understand how you feel. I am bipolar. My mother won't help me. She tells me that I need to do it all on my own. I want a better relationship with her, but she doesn't want to be available for it....I hope you figure out your problem