grounds for a breakup?

Question

i went to a going-away party for three of my managers from outback.there was a lot of alcohol there and when my boyfriend stopped by to see me, let me know he wasnt comfortable with it.i told him id leave soon...i drank a few glasses of lemonade which i found out after i got sick and threw up that it had vodka in it.i ended up getting some pj's from one of the girls that lived there and passed out on the guest bed.not fell asleep-but passed out from the alcohol.i was the only one in there at the time.my boyfriend came by the next morn cuz i wasnt home and walked in that room.he said he pulled the cover off me and i was naked,as well as one of my male managers who was in the bed with me.by boyfriend in his rage accidentally hurt me and i had to go to the hospital.they did a rape test on me because of the situation and found nothing.i know nothing happened because i know my body.why the whole naked thing happened i dont know-but i had sharpie marker all over me. i figured it was a joke.

his parents had both of his phone numbers changed, he deleted or email account, deleted my myspace account and his, and has made it to where he is to have no contact with me what so ever (we are both 20 yrs old) his dad said hed put his foot up his *** if he came to see me or anything.

is this all grounds for a breakup and to never be back together. (been a couple for roughly two years)

PEOPLE PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT I WAS DRINKNG I DID NOT KNOW WAS SPIKED!!!!

AND I DID NOT LET HIM GO-HE LET ME GO...

Answer 1

Sounds like grounds for a breakup on both your parts. You because he physically hurt you. Him, because even if nothing happened, things still went too far to ever trust you again.

Answer 2

That can be a very dangerous situation for someone, especially a woman. The hospital was right to do a rape kit. I agree that the marker writings you found were a joke (I know people in college did that all the time), but finding a naked male manager next to you in bed, especially when you are also nude, can be a serious problem for both of you. You would both be wise to find out what happened, for both medical and legal reasons.

As for grounds for a breakup, I wouldn't think so, especially since you were highly intoxicated at the time, even though you apparently tried to stop drinking, though unfortunately the lemonade you drank was spiked. Regardless, you and your boyfriend have some things to talk through and might want to consider counseling.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

YES! Why would you even consider not leaving him after hitting you? Even if you were in bed naked w/ ur manager and something did happen between you two he has NO RIGHT to put his hands on you and vise versa. Plus the fact uhhh come on w/ the you didn't know it had vodka in it. You drink a couple of glasses you know something is up, you don't get drunk in 2.5 sec. when you go to puke. You wanted to stay and party got a lil too carried away forgot about the boy obviously he has some anger issues anyway. The naked thing yea I suppose that could've been a joke expecilly w/ the sharpie (one of my fav. pranks any penis's on the leg?)

Answer 4

Well, it is now because he had the nerve to hit you! And yes if you had "Sharpie" marker all over you than YES it probably was a joke! Please let me say this though, you are an adult and if you began drinking "lemonade", let's be honest and admit that you did know about the "lemonade' containing alcohol! You will need to stop and ask yourself this.....Do you think anything happened with your male co-worker? Your boyfriend should trust you! Have you given him reason to not trust you?
However even though this event has taken place, you should probably think of this as a "blessing in disguise"! I say this because if this wouldn't have happened you might have not known that your boyfriend would hit you, now you do. And if he says, "baby I won't do it again"....he is lying! Good Luck

Answer 5

Okay first things first...you shouldn't drink. Second, your co-workers are perv's, that would not have been a funny prank even if you were all sober and playing truth or dare! Third your boyfriend had a right to get upset, but not to hit you. No man ever has that right. I don't know if you can talk this one out with him or not. It seems like a few lines were crossed on both sides. Even though YOU say nothing happened, you were drunk and passed out, you never know what they did. You may have pics on the internet now! And your guys has anger issues. Communicate openly w/ your guy if you want things to work, but that was wild!

Answer 6

The fact that he's 20 and mommy and daddy changed his #'s is laughable. Don't look back! Just know this, when you look back on this in a few months, just ask yourself how many #'s is mommy and daddy gonna go thru, before there little boy learns to play well with others? If you are a lady, others will feel that. And a MAN will break his neck to watch over you while your vulnerable. And don't get upset if Dad gets nosy with the next one. Cause the one that's gonna be worthy, is the one that's gonna take over his watch. Violence doesn't get better it gets worse. Life is hard enough without going down that road. Good luck honey.

Answer 7

Its a really bad joke.

To give people alcohol when they don't know it should be a serious crime if it isn't already. The person who did that is not your friend.

Your boyfriend should have made sure you were ok, if there was any doubt. You should have gotten a ride home , if there was any doubt.

If I were your boyfriend I would have A LOT of questions about that. I would insist on STD testing and waiting before sex. Depending on if you did it again soon and or how you answered the questions, I might stay. He should not have "acidentally" hurt you.

Answer 8

I think, what happened to you was a mistake on your part - a big mistake. Assuming you should have known there was an alchohol in your drink. It's hard not to be able to tell after few drinks.

If someone told you it wasn't alcoholic and you somehow trusted him, that's a whole different story. You really need to think what happened.

Nevertheless, stripping you naked and writing on your body is a sexual assult, especially when you were unconcious/passed out (ie. not able to defend for yourself). Joke or otherwise, it IS a crime.

You need to really consider what happened and take appropriate actions.

As to your boyfriend, that's between you and him. It really doesn't matter what anyone thinks on this YAHOO answer. You need to talk to him, not the community.

Answer 9

FUC... WILL this really sounds like a really bad situation you are in. If your boyfriend told you he wasn't comfortable with the situation you where in you should have listen to him and left.

When you are drunk and you have no real friends around you are fuc..ked. Even if this was a joke it wasn't funny putting you in a situation that would jeopardized your relationship. And if you did have sex with your co-worker and didn't realize and don't remember you still won't admit to it because you feel so ashamed and guilty that you won't admit your mistake of not leaving that day with your man.

Sorry but even if you went back with your man things won't be the same,is best if you just leave things as they are. He might forgive you but will never forget, men in general can't live with the fact that another men fuc..k their lady.

this is a lost cause... hope this teaches you something and don't get drunk unless you have real friends that won't put you in a bad situation.

Answer 10

Ok you did mess up. Just an image of my girl naked with another man makes me sick in the stomach regardless of nothing happened. I am sure your boy friends thought of you are scared forever. So yeah it is over for you two.

Even if you get back, your relationship will never be that same, cause any party you go to a party, he will remind you of your pass incident.

And for you quit being a doormat and move on, you are probably acting this way out of guilt. So go get yourself a new life. His parents have taken care of his life.

Answer 11

First if you want a real answer then tell the real story...... my question is why didn't you invite him in the first place? Second, if you are drinking something then you are going to know if it has alcohol in it. Did you order the drink? Another, if you couldn't taste the vodka in the lemonade then it probably wasn't enough to make you pass out either...... If I were his father I would say the same thing. You just need to move on and deal with the concequences to your actions.