My boyfrienda and father of my 1 year old daughter lives on the east coast. I'm on the west coast and have not seen him in a year and a half. He swears hes ready to be a good father, husband dispite a history of mistakes and swore on everything that hes been faithful. Girls find him attractive and fun. How do I know if hes telling the truth and is it possible that a guy who appreciates women like he does can withstand not being "active" for a year and half. Any one experienced? Guys, what do you say?
2006-07-03 09:48:31 · 13 answers · asked by buck'sgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is entirely possible that he's been totally faithful. But, as long as you're living on opposite coasts, it is totally irrelevant.
Whichever of you is serious enough about making it work, and is trusting enough of the other, will have to relocate (but NOT by moving in together!! That would be too hard on your daughter if it doesn't work out.) Then, once you are in the same town, you can start spending time together & get to know each other again. At that point, you'll just have to listen to your heart, unless someone offers proof otherwise.
So, is he prepared to relocate? Do you have enough faith in him to relocate?
2006-07-03 10:02:40 · answer #1 · answered by M Huegerich 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actions speak louder than words. when there is a child involved, you dont' have any room at all for BS. He is at your mercy as far as i can see, so if you WANT to give him a chance.....let him move his butt all the way out there and live close by (not WITH you and your daughter) and see how he acts. Is he willing to take that risk, knowing that you might say, "uhhh, nope. this aint gonna work, you haven't changed". Let him give up everything for that possibility and prove to you, not with words, but with actions, that he is a new person. You stay in total control, dont do one thing for him unless you see him doing back flips.
2006-07-03 16:54:46 · answer #2 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he is telling the truth.people learn from mistakes and ur bf is no exception to that.he's attractive feature is god-gifted and no one can change that.his appreciating girls doesn't define the person that he is.maybe he is a bit fun-loving but good at heart.i think his becoming a dad has made him more responsible and i think u can rely on him.trust me dear becoming a dad is the best experience in anyone's life and it has changed devils into angels.it's my personal feelings.
2006-07-03 16:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by soumyajit_auddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot decide whether or not he is telling the truth you do not know him. You want advice from someone with experience? That is fine, but prepare yourself for some things you may not wish to hear. I waited for seven years after my divorce before I finally found the woman of my dreams. I did not have sex during this period. The woman I love with all my heart and soul lives in another country 10,000 miles away. It was two years before I actually went to her country and married her. I travel to see her appx. every three months. She will immigrate to the U.S. in appx. two months. Do I like sex? No, I actually love it. Was it hard waiting? No, it was extremely difficult. Was waiting all these years worth it? Without a doubt. I went without sex for seven years after my divorce for one reason. Having sex with a woman I do not dearly love means nothing to me. Is not having sex while I await my wife's arrival in the U.S. something any man can do? Yes, if he loves and respects his wife it is easy. Is there a chance my wife has had sex with other men in her own country while awaiting immigration to the U.S.? Absolutely not. How do I know this? I know this because I know my wife and I trust her completely. I know this when I look into her eyes. Am I a fool for thinking this? Not as far as I'm concerned. I would not consider the possibility of betraying my wife. If you know and trust your spouse, and you have taken the steps and the time to truly get to know him or her you will never have an occasion for doubt to enter your mind. In fact, the closeness we share is something most people only dream about. She is my wife, my lover, my companion, my confidant and above all she is my very best friend. Sex, in and of itself, is nothing but a five to ten minute joy ride, here today and gone tomorrow. Making love to the one you love and cherish with all your heart and soul is tantamount to Heaven on earth. I consider my wife very special and I adore her. She is a gift from God, never to be abused in any manner for any reason. When I make love to my wife I do it to please her, not myself. Yes, it certainly does make me feel good. However, my intent is to give her as much pleasure as I can. She deserves no less. Can you trust your boyfriend and father of your child? The fact that you are asking strangers for the answer indicates you do not know your boyfriend well. If he is not willing to make the sacrifice of moving to your location he does not love you. Why hasn't he come to see you every few weeks? Why hasn't he paid the necessary expenses for you to visit him? Does he see you on a webcam several times a week? Does he call you several times a week? Does he support you and your daughter financially? Why has he no interest in seeing his child? In my opinion his actions are reprehensible. Do yourself and your daughter a favor. Remove this man from your life and find someone who will give you and your daughter the love and attention you both deserve. Marry a man whose intent is to give you and your daughter the happiest, most fulfilling life possible. Give your daughter a father she deserves, someone willing to love her and help her during the most important part of her life. If you are unwilling to do this for yourself please do it for your daughter. The father of your child is a loser. You don't need him in any way for anything.
2006-07-03 17:48:35 · answer #4 · answered by C.B. M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends, is he a workaholic then yes, does he go out alot then no. personally i mmoved to canada for 4 months and my g/f stayed here in the u.s i talked with her every night and not once was i tempted or did i think about cheating on her. i also plan to marry her and i was happy and did not want to risk anything that would comprimise it. i would say yes he could depending on how strong you think you relationship is.
2006-07-03 16:55:26 · answer #5 · answered by chucky w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a shot... Tons of girls think my boyfriend is the hottest thing on earth and try to get close to him all the time... but hes in love with me and would never ruin our relationship by doing something with one of the girls... plus he wouldnt lie about anything...
2006-07-03 16:53:41 · answer #6 · answered by jtawsgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think there's any way possible to ever know the truth 100%, unless you find hard evidence. otherwise, you have to make a choice between believing and not believing.
2006-07-03 16:53:26 · answer #7 · answered by ♥karina*s_mom♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to have some alibis...if he has proven himself unworthy of your trust...it will take more than "trust me"..yeah pal...like a docta..give me your list of hotmail contacts..who are you IMing or PMing? what are you doing on the NET these days? If he can show you that he has kept his nose clean...then you'd be forced to trust him...then it is a questionas to whether YOU can trust him...not whether he is trustworthy ..because he just proved that..
2006-07-03 17:04:41 · answer #8 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just stay away, just because it comes out of his mouth doesnt make it true, a whole yr and a 1/2 not even i could wait that long did you?
2006-07-03 16:52:36 · answer #9 · answered by CUTIE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need proof honey child. He could very well be faithful.
2006-07-03 16:53:01 · answer #10 · answered by butterfly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋