Is this just insane -- or insanely true to keep a happy home? (Good Housekeeping Guide for wives in 1955)?

Question

Full list is at http://wifebear.blogspot.com/2005/09/good-housekeeping-1955_112602491712239534.html

I first saw this a few years ago and laughed at how crazy it was (my grandmother said I did not yet know what it meant to be a wife), now I read and think maybe it's on target.... what do you think?

Below are some excerpts from the "Good Wive's Guide"

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction

Don't ask him questions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house...

Wow - I shoudl clarify the stuff about "do not ask him questions" is ridiculous, but having dinner ready, keeping house clean, trying to look good for him, not questioning his integrity and letting his relax before bringing on the house problems -- I think this is on target for creating a wonderful home where the husband will then also do whatever he can on his end to make the wife . kids happy... just such a crazy idea in this day and age...

Answer 1

on what planet can a woman take a shower, have dinner on the table, have the house clean, and everything perfect by 4:00pm? My baby is not even here yet, and it has been about impossible for me to have everything perfect by the time my husband gets home.

I think that as long as you care about each other and try to meet each other's needs, you will be fine. My husband could care less about the house, dinner on the table at exactly 5:00 (actually, he does the cooking) but he likes other things. So I try to do those things for him, and he tries to do the things I like and need for me. He would rather have a companion (thank God, because I am a TERRIBLE housekeeper!!).

I don't think rigid gender roles shows your husband you love him. I think trying to meet each other's needs and thinking about what the other person wants is a far better way to have a happy marriage.

Answer 2

I'm sorry... I can't agree.

But maybe that's because I'm independent as hell and believe in equality in all things when in a relationship. I would not be comfortable being subservient. It's not within my abilities. I would not derive any satisfaction from catering to anyone (and yes.. this includes me... It would be as rotten to get everything exactly my own way all the time as it would for everything to go as my other half wanted them to 100% of the time.) When it comes to not questioning a husbands judgment or integrity, i feel that if either need questioned, they will be. Decisions are to be made as a couple, not one person making them and the other agreeing all the time. It doesn't work if a relationship is not built on give and take.

I find the idea of children being possessions very unsettling as well.

I've been seeing a man for a year now who insists that I let him cook some of the time, and who doesn't mind seeing me without make-up or when my hair is a mess. I've not heard one bad thing about me holding down a full time job, doing my own mechanic work, or the way I manage money. In fact I think some of the way I am able to do for myself impresses most guys.

Today men look toward the future. The perpetual housewife that you describe above will have trouble supporting a family should something befall him.


Far be it from me to pass judgement on your relationship, but if this is the standards you are being held to, I would suspect emotional abuse, at the very least. If this is what he expects of you, maybe you need to think on it very carefully. Playing house in this manner will only last too long before you become disallusioned in the situation. Please be careful.

Answer 3

i've read this before and thought it was hilarious too, i'm sure any man would be happy (in an unexciting, unchallenged way) to live like this, i'm not so sure many women would because they might as well dress in a tshirt that has WELCOME printed across it in big letters because it basically says be a doormat and let him do what he wants, when he wants and still kiss his butt if and when he bothers to come home. how many men would really find that exciting? keep in mind back then lots of guys had mistresses that were far more exciting than what they had waiting at home. i couldn't do it and i think it changed for some reason, if it had been such a perfect system things would have stayed just that way but instead women decided they wanted to be real people instead of housekeeping droids.

Answer 4

I vote for insane. It's his wife not his mommy! Thank God the 50s are over! I have always told my husband that if I didn't HAVE to work (that is, that his salary would keep us in the manner we are accustomed to living in with both of us working - nice house, nice neighborhood, some spending money) - then I could do a "new" version of the perfect housewife - make sure the house was tidy, doing all the chores, taking care of the kids and he would have dinner on the table every night and not have to do the dishes. Until that happens (ha ha), it is 50-50 buddy. I work too!

Answer 5

I think it's stupid. This is the year 2006, not 1955.
A couple of things:
1) Back then, women stayed home, and took care of the kids & home. Probably because there weren't many career options for women back then.
2) That article is from 1955. Some of the "rules" are just plain stupid. (ex. "Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night." Why shouldn't I complain if my husband does this? I have EVERY right to.)

If you WANT to do that, fine, it's your choice. You're crazy & weird, but, it's your choice,

Answer 6

Valium was all the rage back then.... Mother's Lil' Helper Or Better Living Through Chemistry As It Were. *g*

10 years before then, women were in the ship yards making America, the World safe for Democracy suiting up as Rosie The Riviter.... Women proved once again that they could whoop @$$ and take names, but "society" *coughsclosedmindedmencough* saw them only as a temporary tool, and it was time to return them back home, where they could roam barefoot and pregnant.... to take care of a man's castle like the Good Book intended. *shakes head*

Any time Im flipping channels, and I see an old TV show like Leave It To Beaver, or Ozzie and Harriet.... I wonder what the Housewives were doing before they were returned to the safety of the suburbs? I can see June Cleaver as cigar chomping MIG Welder nicknamed "Sparky", telling the best dirty jokes involving trips to the OB/GYN, cant you ? *g*

Answer 7

Well I think that is quite interesting. For a woman to do that for her husband is a good thing. Yeah..yeah we can say"uh uh i am in charge and blah blah'". But think about it "Do I want a peaceful marriage and if I do what can I do to make it peaceful. yes it kind of gets to me to think What if i had a man who was always throwing himself around at me , letting me know how he was "the man". BUTTTT what if he didn't....the only kind of man was a tired man who had worked all day. Which I did to ,with the kids , but If I am willing to help him out. Then he would be gratefl;, appreciative..and rested alil bit and it would then be his turn , then he would help me out a bit. And maybe one day he wont feel like it or I wont feel up to it to have it all done by the time he is home... but guess what. Everything will be "all gravy" and he would say its okay hunny get to it when you feel better. Its basically a give and take thing. The funny thing about it is.. I keep seeing comments on how it is 2006. The exactly why these things should be happening. It's all how someone looks at it. In my household experience........A MOUNTAIN CAN BE MADE OUT OF A MOLEHILL.

Answer 8

I think some moderations have been made. You must remember, this was during a time when most women weren't working. I work full time and so does my husband - we're both perfectly capable of feeding ourselves. I do believe in clearing up the clutter - I love to come home to a clean house. I would say it's fairly accurate - but with some modern up to dates.

Answer 9

I myself am of a generation that has not had those particular stereotypes thrust upon us quite so boldly. Oh, and exactly how much was the little lady paid for her "duties"? It is nice to have things in order when you get home after working all day, but consider this; how many men would perform the same duties for his wife if the roles were switched? It's got to be fair and it's got to be teamwork. Those rules of 'good wives' just don't ring true in today's world. We need to work on our cooperation skills, men included.

Answer 10

Personally I don't see anything wrong with being a house wife. But that does entail that certain things are to be done. Like the laundry, cleaning and yes dinner on the table when he gets home. In the bible it says that the woman are supposed to obey our husbands just as we should obey God. I think God knows what should and shouldn't be done. lol Most house wifes now days are so lazy and disorganised. I think it's no wonder most men leave them.