Would you marry a woman who had kids?

Question

There are a lot of woman who tell me that men are NOT turned off by a woman who has children. As a parent I know the immense responsibility raising kids is and have to say that I would be leery to marry a man who already had children (hypocritical – I KNOW!) But I want to hear what the men think. If a woman tells you she has children, is it an immediate turn off?

So maybe it's just women who feel like someone with "baggage" is a big no-no....

Why do you suppose that is?

So are men intimidated by the child(ren)'s father if he is an active part of their lives?

Answer 1

why on earth would you not. is it because you feel like your not getting enough attention with a child around. thats just silly. love can temper any waters. those who would avoid others because they have hangups really havent got a clue what real love is.

Answer 2

No its not.
Then again there is an awful lot of information that is missing.
What is the relationship between the woman and the father of the kids? Is he in the picture helping to support the kids financially and emotionally? Is the woman looking for not only companionship, but for a father figure for the kids?

I ended up with two pre-teen daughters after my divorce and promised myself and my kids that there would be no involments with anyone until they were out of high school and into college.

It worked out really well. There were no hassles with a third party telling me how I should raise my girls. Any arguments with the ex were just that, exclusive without any interference from an outside party. I was always there for the kids when they needed me, but at the same time they learned to do everything for themselves which prepared them for life on their own.

I know how hard it is and its sad that so many men dont get the opportunity to learn what your going through. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

I'd rather marry a woman with kids. But, sadly, being a single father is just as much of a turn off to women. Even the ones who have kids.

I goes two ways. If they can't settle for a guy with kids, maybe they should stop complaining about it.

Answer 4

Beween the collapse of my first marriage and the path to my second, I considered this question. My feeling was that it wasn't a deterrent that she has children, but rather how many and how well behaved the children. It would take only one ill-behaved child to begin creating a divide in a relationship, if disagreements arose over how to handle misconduct, misbehavior, discipline, similar subject matter, and in many families that does create insurmountable pressures. I did marry a woman though with a child and it worked out very well, no unusual pressures and we all get along comfortably well.

Answer 5

No it is not a turn off I dated several women who had children (1-4 kids) when I was single and the girl I married had one child from a previous relationship. And as far as I am concerned he is my child not the other guys.

Answer 6

I'm a woman and I absolutely will not marry a man with children. They carry too much baggage.

Answer 7

Nope, not a turn off at all. If I am attracted to the woman and we fall in love I'd still want to marry her.

Answer 8

well it's all up to you.
i think they should be given a chance though (i don't have a kid btw)
just because they got pregnant and had kids, it doesn't mean that they are careless. what if their partner was careless and left them to starve?

if i were a guy. i would rather go out with a woman who has kids, than a woman who is single, but had an abortion.

Answer 9

I would marry a man is activly involved in his childrens lives, financially and physically. It says alot about his character.

Answer 10

well im a girl and I would never marry a man with kids.