My best friend was dating someone (who was crazy) and broke up a few months ago however is having a very hard time getting over the relationship. Mainly because they had an amazing, freaky sex life. He has tried to date others but is constantly dissapointed, then misses his ex even more. He thought about going back to his ex weekly just for "fun" however he knows that is bad idea. He has a hard time meeting people at bars where he lives (my advice was to be a man wh0re for a while until he recovered) so one night stands or random hookups won't work. What would you tell him to do?
2006-07-03 08:30:14 · 9 answers · asked by Mike Hunt 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is not a sex addict! He just thinks sex is a very important part of a realtionship!
2006-07-03 08:45:52 · update #1
tell your friend his ex is past. she will not come again. find somebody else who look beautiful. you should have many mates yourself, so ask your other friends to bring nice looking but charismatic girl with you, so you all can get out to the club, he should then try to flirt with her, when this thing work, the problem is solved
2006-07-03 08:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by hotdn 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once he understands why, he'll understand better what to do.
On a very deep level, men get their sense of self-esteem from two areas: career (representing success in the contest for survival) and sex (representing success in the contest for procreation).
She fed his self-esteem because the sex was great. But, the other qualities she possessed (or didn't) were so strong they overcame this need. He feels a sense of loss because his self-esteem isn't being fed. He's going to want that back from time to time.
Short term, sexual conquests will boost self-esteem, but the results will be very transitory. He'll need to do it again and again, and the satisfaction will get less and less. That's OK for a while, and it can actually be healing for him (assuming you ignore the emotional impact on the women, who might or might not be seeking the same thing).
Long term, he's going to have to find a loving, stable relationship (which represents the ultimate success in the contest for procreation), with a woman who doesn't have the other character flaws of his ex.
2006-07-03 15:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by antirion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be that he needs to let go. My boyfriend was dating someone for 3 years. They broke up. Three years later he met me. I spent allot of time with him, and I fell in love. but he kept telling me about his past relationship to this one person. I told him that I loved him I wanted to have a relationship with him, just him and I not three people. I told him he needed to let go of her. I made him write in a journal about it, write a song( he is musically inclined) and to call me back when she was no longer a part of his life. I thought it was going to take him a while but he stayed up all night "getting over her" and called me first thing in the morning. It has been 15 months and this relationship is strictly about him and I. I would tell your friend to do the same. Work through it. Call her up to make peace with her, with no intention of getting back together. One night stands are a terrible idea. It will make him feel bad in the end.
2006-07-03 15:40:52 · answer #3 · answered by ana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does he like to do? Maybe he should do what he's passionate about as a hobby, golf, jogging, swimming, playing pool, bowling, working out at a gym, volunteering, etc and see if he meets anybody through those activities. also, our local community colleges offer courses for singles such as dancing, cycling, power walking, etc so that singles can go and possibly find someone who enjoys the same things they enjoy. My friend actually met his girlfriend from oen of those classes last year...it was cycling in case you're interested. Good luck with your friend. You're great for trying to help him out.
2006-07-03 15:41:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he misses his ex because he still likes her, then I'd tell him to go back out with her. But if he misses his ex for sexual reasons, then I'd tell him to shape up and go get himself another girl. You can't always stay in one relationship all the time, especially if it's only for the sex.
2006-07-03 15:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by luvcry247 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's more to life but freaky sex. He should get his priorities straight. Sex is a good addition, but not the whole pie.
2006-07-03 15:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he need to learn to move on it will take time to find someone but he will in time take him out and have fun
2006-07-03 15:37:05 · answer #7 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't get free of an addiction by feeding it --- they do have programs for people who have sexual addictions...find one for your friend
2006-07-03 15:37:22 · answer #8 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this will give you alot of advice with relationship problems
2006-07-03 15:33:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋