I will attend an American wedding for the first time, in church, then reception. What should I bring?

Question

It's my first time in the country attending such a wedding, and I do not know what I should buy/bring and/or do in the wedding for my friends. Any insights would be appreciated. Thank you.

Answer 1

First, (if you haven't already done so) make sure to respond to the invitation and let the hosts know you plan to attend. Send a gift ahead of time, through the post office or some other delivery service. Dress as you would for a fancy church service. In case you will have to stand up a lot, wear suitable shoes. Carry a clean hankerchief, a good supply of cash in small bills (just in case), and as little else as possible. Avoid carrying a large handbag. Before you leave home, eat a little snack and use the bathroom.

Arrive at the church about 10-15 minutes before time for the ceremony. Before you enter the seating area, someone will ask you whether you are friend of the bride or of the groom. It's ok to say you are friends with both. Then this person will show you to a seat.

You may see some people making blessings or prayers as they enter the church. If you are not of this faith, then you are not expected to make the blessings or prayers.

If you are seated next to people, it's OK to (very quietly) say "Hello, I'm Jane Doe" and offer your hand. But avoid loud voices or extended conversations; remember you are in church.

During the ceremony, stand when others stand, sit when they sit. When they kneel in prayer, you may kneel also, or remain seated with your head down. People will understand that some religions do not allow people to kneel in a church not their own. In some religions, some people may go to the front of the church to participate in a sacrament or blessing, such as Eucharist. Allow them to pass (stand, or even step into the aisle, if need be) but remain where you are. Like the prayer, it's understood that some people will be of another faith.

Aside from that, your job is just to sit quietly and admire. After the ceremony, just do the same things everyone else does. Shake hands with the bride and groom, their parents, the bridesmaids, etc, if everyone else is doing it. "What a lovely occasion" is a safe comment to make to anyone.

Receptions can be anything from boisterous noisy parties with lots of drinking and pranks to quiet formal dinners. Just take your cues from what other people are doing. If you see someone else standing by themselves, you may walk up and say "Hello, I'm Jane Doe" and extend your hand. The age or gender of the person doesn't matter; Americans aren't strict at all about precedence. In fact, we're very socially forgiving -- if you commit a faux pas, chances are no one will notice or care. So relax and have fun.

Answer 2

If they are accepting gifts they probably have a gift registry. You can get something off of that. If not, it is customary to give a monetary donation equal to the cost of your dinner. If it is a very fancy and large wedding then like $100+ if is smaller and more informal then $50+ is appropriate. You can always bring cash and a card and put as much as you feel appropriate once you get to the reception.

Answer 3

Yes - you should find out where they are registered. If you don't have access to any of the stores and are not able to order it online from your country, then consider giving a card with cash in it. I don't typically condone gift certificates, but for people travelling to the country, it can be a better option than trying to send or carry a gift.

Traditionally, the cost of the gift is similar to the cost of the dinner they will serve you, but you also don't want to be cheap about it. Typically, I give a gift valued at around $50 for friends and $100-$200 for close friends.

Answer 4

a gift is all you need to bring.

if it's just you attending spend about $20-$30
if you are bringing a guest, double the amount for the present.

if you don't know what to get the couple, try a gift card to Target, or a restaurant that the couple enjoys.

good luck!

Answer 5

First check if the couple is accepting gifts, monetary or donations to their local charity. Also check if they are registered anywhere you can usually find this info on the invitation. If not check with other guests who will be attending or ask family.

Answer 6

Money$$$$$$$$$$$$

Answer 7

Strippers

Answer 8

You're presence is the gift

Answer 9

party favors, streamers, whips, chains, but watch out if it really gets kinky

Answer 10

beer