What is your most embarrassing language faux pas?

Question

Just hopeing there is some one else who instead of telling their German mother in-law "I am a little lonely" told them "I am a little sperm" instead
Well, it happens......................

Answer 1

I used to live in Germany and a friend from UK who didn't speak German came to visit. We were in town waiting for the S-Bahn and someone asked my friend something about the timetable. I was about to intercede on his behalf to explain he was British and didn't speak the language but instead he answered the question in surprisingly good German, by saying "Entschuldigen Sie mich, Bitte. Ich habe nur zwei Gehirnzelle."

I was astonished and couldn't speak for laughing. what he'd said was "Please excuse me. I only have two braincells."

Of all the phrases you could learn by rote in a foreign language, why that?
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Some famous ones are the one about the former French first lady:

Lunching with English friends at the time of her husband's retirement, Madame de Gaulle was asked what she was looking forward to in the years ahead. "A penis," she replied without hesitation. The embarrassed silence that followed was finally broken by the former president. "My dear," he murmured, "I think the English don't pronounce the word quite like that. It's 'appiness.'"

and then there's the Welshman who had his initials and surrname embossed on his luggage for a trip to Argentina. The airport staff were very bemused to find a whole set of cases containing CA JONES!!

Answer 2

I can't remember any but my dad had a couple.

First he went into a restaurant in Germany on his very first day and just chose something off the menu without knowing what is was. Schnecken - snails

Then he went into a supermarket and asked for a pound of mince. The assistant asked "Außerdem?" Dad said "Ja", the assistant waited and said "Außerdem?" Dad said "Ja", the assistant waited again and said "Außerdem?" Dad, yet again said "Ja", so the assistant changed and said "Ist das alles?" Dad said "Ja". So she gave him the mince and he left.
Dad had been told if someone asks you something jst say "Ja" meaning yes. So he did. It was only later that he found out that "Außerdem?" actually means "Do you want anything else?" So he had been saying yes the whole time until the lady asked him "Is that all" which he also answered with yes! D'oh!! I don't think he's done it since!

Mum is another good example. We were in a department store looking at curtains when she saw something she liked, so she decided to ask if they had the fabric so she could make it herself. We had been in Germany for 2 months at the time. She decided that fabric must sound similair in German so she asked the assistant "Haben Sie diese Fabrik?" The lady looked at her as if she were daft and finally realised what mum meant and said no. When we got home mum looked in the dictionary to see what fabric actually is and found out it is "Material" not "Fabrik" llike she said. She then found out that "Fabrik" actually means factory, so she had been asking if they had this factory. Oops

I can't think of anything more embarassing but it was that at the time!

Mind you JFK's blunder was good! "Ich bin ein Berliner" which technically translates as "I am a donut!", whereas if he had said "Ich bin Berliner" it would have meant "I am a Berliner" lol

Answer 3

This isn't my language faux pas, but it still made me smile.

When my mother was at school and learning French, she had to describe her bedroom to the native language assistant. My mum was telling this woman all about her wardrobe and the colour of her bedding and then went on to talk about her chest of drawers, when the woman had a really strange look on her face. My mum asked what was wrong and the woman proceeded to tell her that she had said she had a 'bosom of knickers' in her room. So much for dictionaries being useful...

Answer 4

Americans calling an a~r~s~e a fanny! Whereas brits use the word fanny as another word for a vagina.

I was watching #'Friends# the comedy on TV and phoebe was giving some greek man a massage on her masage table where she works. Later there is a kerfuffle and I think someone runs in to see what the problem is.

And phoebe exclaims "he touched my fanny!"

now at the time I thought this was really rude and a bit risky for a family show like friends. Only later did I find out yanks call arses fannys, i did laugh.

Answer 5

Well the only thing I can think of was what lad means here in England and what lad means over in some parts of Ireland. Lad just means boy to me.

Talking to a mate of mine in Ire I asked, 'By the way how's your little lad?' He looked at me slightly shocked and said, 'Well that's a bit of a personal question. But as you're asking, it was fine last time I looked, and it isn't little either!'

I'm afraid me being a bit dumb he had to explain it me. After that, I made sure I never asked an irish fella how his lad was ever again. :'>

Answer 6

My spanish friend went into Mcd in Leceister Sq in London one day and asked for a chicken in a BUM and a C***(male chicken)!
Not really a faux pas but very funny. And because they guy behind the counter was so dumbfounded she thought he didn´t understand and so repeated the same but louder.

Answer 7

When the Icelandic farmer went to Germany and proudly said in his "flawless" German: Ich habe 300 kinder.... to get the joke, a little lesson in Icelandic: Kind=sheep

Answer 8

When I was working in a Spanish restaurant and people were asking to eat chicken (pollo) they were asking for Polla which is Dick!

Hay in Spanish means There Are not Are they. You would need to use Tienes do you have. Cojones are used more for balls in Spanish.
I have noticed with the teenagers who are German who I know call Balls Eggs whe they Speak about them in English instead of saying balls as in Bollocks they say eggs its cute.

when I was living in Mallorca I used to get mad at my ex as he was a smoker and in Spain they say "Tienes Fuego"(have you got fire) when they ask for a light.
So he asked for "fire" in German from German tourists (usually Girls!) as he does not know to ask English but did in Greman you see In German the word for fire is pronounced like the Spanish slang work for f.uck and i did not realise this and gave him a hard time when all he really was asking for was a light!

Answer 9

In Italy last year I was talking to a man outside the Uffizi in Florence and he asked me a question in Italian and as I was only learning the languae then, I thought he called me a pig when really he was asking me about china and porcelain produced near to where I live!!! Very embarassing.

Answer 10

I asked my French professor how to pronounce the word "baisser" in front of my class. However, I pronounced it "baiser" when I asked and everyone laughed and my prof looked a little awkward. I didn't find out until later that pronounced that way, the word is used as slang to say the equivalent of "to f**k" in English.