Does anyone know really funny Jokes cause feel gloomy 2day?

Answer 1

If you are a blonde, this might not cheer you up.


The Interview


Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder.

Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you?
Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

The second blonde said, "Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but... "He flashed the
photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The third blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

Answer 2

>blonde woman was
>speeding down the road in her little red sports car
>and was pulled over
>by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The
>blonde cop asked to
>see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her
>purse and was
>getting progressively more agitated. "What does it
>look like?" she
>finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square
>and it has your
>picture on it." The driver finally found a square
>mirror in her purse,
>looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here
>it is," she said.
>The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed
>it back saying,
>"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
hope it helps

Answer 3

Blind guy walks into a bar with a seeing-eye dog and stops in the middle of the bar and start triwling the dog around his head and the bartender says ,Hey man, what r u doing ... the blind guy replys ..Taking a look around.

Answer 4

no... well you can go to www.youtube.com and they have funny videos. Especially if you type in mad tv. here is my fave.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9Lv9kN_tYxU&search=chapelle%20show

if you like that here is the remix

http://youtube.com/watch?v=iwtKaQp7sUA&search=pee%20on%20you%20remix

Answer 5

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvMdVDTk_MyPMDnvvWGF2Grsy6IX?qid=20060622053508AALPJdx And after that click my name I'm posting some now!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

Answer 6

nope sorry