I was married 14 yrs. We have a daughter 9. She had an affair and instead of drawing her near. I pushed her away. She told me she didn't know his name. I tried to remain calm and ratioalnize what she had done and I put all the blame on myself. I didn't lose my temper, I just lost my mind. I convinced her that it was my fault so she would not go through life blaming herself.
2006-07-03 07:03:49 · 15 answers · asked by bigblock_475_hp d 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
How can you say you are incapable of love? Did you mean giving it or getting it? If you meant you are incapable of giving love, your question shows that is not true, you gave love the moment you tried to take her guilt away by putting it on yourself. Such a selfless act is love my friend.
If you meant getting love, I think you just made a bad choice in an untrustworthy person. There are those who will not let you down......... your daughter, for example.
2006-07-03 07:10:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So your wife had an affair and you couldn't deal with it, but you tried to minimize the damage. It doesn't sound to me like you're incapable of love, it sounds like you've been hurt. Some people are able to forgive affairs, but it could take time and it would depend on the other strengths or weaknesses of the relationship. If you decide to move on, it may be hard to trust someone new for a long time, but either way, time will heal.
2006-07-03 07:14:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not just your fault, it was her fault, too. If you were having trouble with your marriage, you should have gone to a counselor. There is no shame in asking for help, but if you cheat, then you're taking the easy way out. Sometimes marriages don't work out at all, and in that case, divorce is the only answer. But I would try counseling first. Good luck!!
2006-07-03 07:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by poeticjustice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been hurt. Many marriages survive an affair. Go to marriage counseling, and perhaps think of counseling for yourself. You have some work to do. I think that pushing her away was a normal reaction. You need some time. But, it wasn't your fault.
2006-07-03 07:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by Hope A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
difficult topic, God allowed it to happen its awful dont know why blamming yourself would make it easier to deal with, but do know you and your daughter and her whole family need each other for support, so stop blamming each other and focus on having some good time togather, the past wont change or go away but you could have many years of happiness ahead of you, so move on and draw thoes you love close to you and move on each day is new, find somethign good in it.
2006-07-03 07:09:25 · answer #5 · answered by mdbuchanan2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
answer: NO, this is not actual.. Muslim adult males are human beings. arranged marriage is a few thing that has been present day in better than merely the muslim international.. this is merely that for the time of a few aspects of the muslim international its nonetheless very straight forward. this is because of the incontrovertible fact that this is not okey with sexual intercourse etc formerly marriage.. so that they take the easy way out. With arranged marriage there is not any hazard for the couple to spend time with one yet another meaning that there is not any danger for doin some thing thats not allowed. and then its additionally seen that oldsters, out of journey, understand whats superb for their toddlers.. So in those circumstances love is a few thing that grows meaning that with time the guy easily loves his spouse.. If this could be a good or undesirable thank you to get married could be suggested and u will discover human beings questioning its good as properly as human beings think of its undesirable. asserting that arranged marriage is the reason that the divorce fee is decrease in muslim international places is, in my opionion, not actual.. i think of its because of the fact in islam divorce is seen rather undesirable, and u ought to do each little thing for it to artwork. if it doesnt artwork, u could have your loved ones who will attempt to get u mutually..u don't get divorced merely like that.. there is not a liberal view on divorce.. in different aspects of the international divorces may be greater straight forward because of the fact its much less complicated to take the easy way out, divorces are greater customary.. Me myself, does not choose an arranged marriage..
2016-12-08 15:19:15 · answer #6 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's not love you incapable of it's compassion for yourself.
you are like not really into the world because of some trouble in the past to motivate you. go soul search and you should be fine and relieved of that unnecessary darkness.
2006-07-03 07:13:52 · answer #7 · answered by INOTFRIEND 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was perfectly normal of you to withdraw from your ex (I'm assuming). I mean, anyone would be hurt if they have been cheated on. Especially since she couldn't even have the decency to remember the mans name. But psychological warfare with her is just a tad extreme.
2006-07-03 07:07:43 · answer #8 · answered by Man_With_No_Name 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you asking? You were married , did you not love him?Love is a tough thing to do, but you love your daughter so life is not always a white picket fence.
2006-07-03 07:09:29 · answer #9 · answered by heartache53 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, it's not your fault, these things happen. You really shouldn't have pushed her away, but, if you're not already in divorce proceedings, you can try rebuilding your relationship, marraige counseling, etc.
2006-07-03 07:07:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋