My boyfriend is flat out LAZY! He's gained about 30 to 40 pounds since we've gotten together but now it's to the point that the sex sucks. I love the guy to death but it's very frustrating not getting what I need when I need it. I'm way more sexually active than he is. I've tried everything to spice it up..asked him to have sex in the pool..nope..outta the question..in the rain? "NO WAY! We'll get hit by lightning!" Even for him to go down on me is a big deal. I think a large part of it is his weight. I've lost 20 pounds since we've gotten together and hes plumped up..he's always complaing about his weight..asking if he looks big..if he's "the big fat guy" now,etc. I love everything about him whether he's fat or skinny except for his laziness with sex. Its ridiculous. We can't even do it after he eats dinner because then he's "too stuffed and his belly hurts". I want him to be healthy with me and come jogging. Should I start monitoring his diet? I don't want to control him.
2006-07-03 06:36:28 · 20 answers · asked by LONG ISLAND GIRL 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
statistics show that when a guy gains weight when he's in a steady relationship it means he's happy, but when a woman gains weight it means she isn't. Hey, at least you have a boyfriend & somewhat of a sex life - let him be or find someone else who can give you what you need.
2006-07-03 06:45:03 · answer #1 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get the Kama Sutra for some great ideas - and don't be afraid to be on top. Guys love cowgirls! Wear something sexy and put low fat whipped cream you-know-where! Try it in the shower. Most guys also love porn flicks - his getting turned on by watching other women doesn't mean he doesn't like you as much - it's a biological visual arousal thing.
Definitely don't bug him about his weight at all - he already knows he's fat. Pointing it out is a real turn-off. He'll only do it for himself when he feels you aren't trying to manipulate him. Just say, "I'm going to the park for a walk - want to come?" Make healthier meals without gloating about it. Don't buy junk food or keep it around the house. If he wants it, let him get his own. There are some great, tasty low fat, low sugar recipes on the website for the American Diabetes Assn.
2006-07-03 06:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by Danger, Will Robinson! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all why did he gain so much weight during this period? There should be a reason for the change in his eating habits.
Probably now that he has gained weight he has a problem with himself and doesn't feel very attractive or comfortable with himself/his body, especially around you. Something similar to what women happens during pregnancy...
Anyway try indirectly to show him that you still find him attractive and boost his moral. Then you can start thinking about a way to encourage him to go on a diet. Monitoring his diet is kind of authoritarian and will cause more friction.
Losing weight should be something he does for himself. If he gets the impression he has to do it for you will create hostility and stress and worsen your sex life.
2006-07-03 06:53:47 · answer #3 · answered by bellerophon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look if your boyfriend is that lazy and you love him that much here is a suggestion have him lay on his back you take it from there at least that way you can get things started. I really hope your are successful with the diet in this day and age if you expect to be around a long time you really do have to eat healthy. Good Luck.
2006-07-03 06:49:10 · answer #4 · answered by Zoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the weight problem, there must be a serious problem elsewhere if he doesn't want to make love with you. The last thing you want to do is to put pressure on him to lose wieght.
Maybe you should ask what would turn him on, maybe watching porn together or role playing etc.
2006-07-03 06:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by mr2demon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to encourage him more on the need to join you in jogging. Then maybe you may have sex before dinner, at least to start with for now. I really empathise with you, if that pics is really yours, a cute, hot gurl like you should not be denied a good hot ffuck. How I wish..... sorry about that. Cheers!
2006-07-03 06:46:40 · answer #6 · answered by mykemejeje 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Tell him that yes, he is getting over weight and that for the good of his health and the health of your relationship he needs to start getting in shape. Exercise is something you two can do together and while it may make him more tired for the first couple of months you should see an increase in stamina after that.
2006-07-03 06:55:01 · answer #7 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are responsible for all this. On the contrary you should let him crave for sex, by keeping a self control on yourself. Next time when he feel to have, lay a condition to reduce weight or else deny. He is getting things easily, including sex, can say, he is being over pampered by you. If he really loves you, he will do anything in this world to please you.
2006-07-03 07:24:50 · answer #8 · answered by Vicky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him lose weight. A Guy not wanted to get it all the time is lazy and crazy, I can't live without it every day.
2006-07-08 17:30:35 · answer #9 · answered by Rod 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are going to have to do something. Regardless if you love him, it is already bothering you. It will snowball.A beautiful woman like you should not have to go without sex. If he needs a pointer or two, tell him to talk to his friends.Hopefully someone will talk sense to him. I know sometimes it is difficult for you to help him. It may come across as criticism.Good luck
2006-07-03 06:53:50 · answer #10 · answered by Texas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋