we were together for last 3 yrs.and were inseperable.we'd roam around the city,visit every little place there is,eat together, make out.she used to be the most wonderful funny girl i ever met. i love her a lot, and so does she.a few months from now i am going away for my engineering course and she is too.this seems to have put her off.she is not the same girl i loved anymore.its like she is getting torn apart inside.she has become very touchy and doesnt seem to be herself. i tried to talk to her about it but she seems too brokendown.she is feeling very insecure. how do i make her understand that she is my only one,my lover and my bestfriend??
2006-07-03 05:50:55 · 8 answers · asked by loving_u_4ever_n_always 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off you should ask if she has separation issues. I know my girl friend does. That would at least give you a starting point and some understanding.
Then let her know what you feel and if you have to repeat every single thing you have in your relationship to let her know how you feel do so. If you want her to still be in your life and it sounds like you do.
Also let her know that you will call her/email/text/whatever all the time so though you are away physically, she is always inside of you.
Life throws everyone curves and relationships have to be built on honesty, trust, love and understanding in order for it to be a strong one. If not, no matter what either does it will not succeed.
Tell her that this is only for a little while but after it is over things will be better for your and hopefully her future as well.
All the best!
2006-07-03 06:01:28 · answer #1 · answered by A-Yo! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're missing the point, guy. She doesn't feel able to stand on her own. That's one of the reasons she's with you. You're her sense of security. You're the one she's relying on, probably for virtually everything, certainly for her day to day sense of belonging. Now that's all being taken away from her.
It doesn't really matter what you say. She's afraid you're not coming back, and she's certain you're going away. For her, even as a best case scenario, she's losing a huge part of her life.
There are a lot of things you can do wrong, but there is nothing you can do "right" in this situation. You can hurt, but you can't help. She has to deal with this on her own. She has to find her own self-confidence, her own sense that she is capable of making it...
The only thing you can do is be the safe place she can run to, which you're doing. But if she's ever going to be the woman she was intended to be, she has to have a place to run from... That has to be a place away from you.
2006-07-03 06:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by antirion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, tell her that she seems to be hurting/scared/insecure and you are concerned. Ask her to tell you more about these feelings- it is important to get her engaged in this conversation instead of giving you little 'yes' or 'no' answers. Listen to her and what she says; let her talk and try not to react until she's done. (Women have a huge need to be heard- that's just how we're designed!). Then after she is done getting her fears and emotions out, she will be more open (and her brain more relaxed) to really listening to what you say; this is the perfect time to reassure her. Remember: when she is telling you how she feels, try not to get upset or take anything personally. She is speaking out of fear and insecurity, and that can really be a loud voice that drowns out reality. Let her get it out, then your reassurances will be 'absorbed' much more easily...
This may take a couple of tries, so be patient!
Good luck!
2006-07-03 06:06:02 · answer #3 · answered by dancing_queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Well, since I'm a girl, I'm going to help you. Talk to her. She definitely needs to let out her feelings. If she keeps this up, she's going to be lost. You need to find a way to get her to talk to you. Coax her into talking first. If that doesn't work, try a different method. Hold her and stroke her hair, whispering sweet nothings. Tell her everything is going to be ok and that you love her and you always will, etc, etc, etc. Eventually, she'll break down and cry and spill it all out. If that doesn't work, well... Buy a dummies guide for getting women to talk to you about their feelings.
2006-07-03 05:58:17 · answer #4 · answered by Rheanna R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reassure her that you love her with your heart. Tell her what you feel in your heart and be honest with her. I'm a woman and I have my times of insecurity. The best solution is reassurance, support, and communication. Tell her exactly what you just put on that last sentence..."my only one, my lover, and my best friend."
2006-07-03 05:55:00 · answer #5 · answered by SweetCoco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell her how you really feel. She will have to trust you about all of this. Dont give her any reason not to trust you. Always be there for her and show her you love her.
2006-07-03 05:57:19 · answer #6 · answered by bigdog_0028 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust him. And that trust will help subside that feeling. Besides you can also think, that YOU were the lucky one to get him from all his other friends! ;-)
2016-03-27 02:27:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
continue to tell her that is the best you can do
2006-07-03 05:54:44 · answer #8 · answered by buzy_bee_21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋