Why do I feel so used?

Question

I recently met a girl who I was instantly attracted to, and she to me. The only (large) obstacle that existed was her boyfriend, who lives several hours away. She pressured me to have sexual relations with her over the course of a few weeks, and I (despite my better judgment) went along with it, because I deperately wanted to be with her. After one particularly physical night, she announced to me that she had no intentions of breaking up with her boyfriend for me. She no longer expresses quite the same interest in my as she once did. Do I just not understand women right, or have I been completely, utterly used? Why are so many sexist women lurking this site, bashing guys because they've been screwed over in the past? Listen women, I am a walking testament that women are JUST as good at the game as men are. I just wish I knew how to handle this pain, and any tips on how to win her affections would be appreciated.

Answer 1

Sometimes people are just crap regardless of what sex they are, do you really want to win this girls afffections, dont you think your wrth more and if shes cheating on her boyfriend ,what makes you think she wont do the same to you?

Answer 2

From what you've typed, you've been used. Don't even try to talk to her, it'll just make it worse. She just wanted sex from you and she got what she wanted. And now, she no longer wants sex from you.

I'm a person who's HUGE on revenge. I would find out her boyfriend's name and address and go see him and tell him he's dating a s*l*u*t. But, that's just me. Back to you.

I'm a girl and I've been used too. Actually, I'm in the exact same situation, just the genders are switched. You don't understand women, I don't understand men, unless they're gay. Here are some thing to help you out with your problem.

One, don't talk to her. She's totally not worth it, especially after what she did to you. She just wants attention from other guys but can't leave her boyfriend.

Two, get out and see other girls. She is NOT the only girl you are ever going to meet and be attracted to and really want to be with. Trust me.

Three, keep your shaft in your pants. Be smart, ok? The peer pressure can be hard and the temptation is hard to resist. Oh well. You can be stronger then that and you need to be. Save the sex for girl's that are actually single and are your girlfriends! Or better yet, save it for marriage! But, I hardly expect that from a guy, no offense.

With all that said, it just needs to be done. I just hope you might do these steps to help yourself in this situation. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 3

Ok first, I am not a man basher. Second you completely got used, and admit it, but then go on to ask for some tips on how to win her affection? That means you are asking for it again! Don't cry about it if you are dumb enough to let them do it to you! I mean from reading your question I get the feeling that she pressured you to have "sexual relations" early on because she wanted to see if you were better than what she already has, obviously that was not the case because she made it clear to you that she is staying with him! Give it up and take it as what it was....... a one night stand.

Answer 4

Whatever happened to you was really bad. And what I found worse is that despite knowing and having a better judgement intact you went along with her.. anyways now let bygones be bygones.
Attraction really doesnt mean anything- you are attracted to so many things in the market but you cant own them all... similarly feelings of one person cannot be owned. Now that she has made it very clear that she is not interested in you emotionally you should understand that all she wanted was some sexual pleaures from you. And now that is over she doesnt need you. And I totally agree with you(despite being a girl) that there are bad girls also.
I suggest you should get over her and please move in life.

Answer 5

You were used but, at least you found out early in the game. It would have been worse had this been a long-term thing. Please don't let this one instance poison your mind against all women. That's why it makes so much sense to abstain from sex until marriage. Don't waste your time trying to win her affection, she doesn't sound good enough for you. Let her go and if she is meant for you then she will come back on her own; if not, you lose nothing and save your pride and dignity.

Answer 6

You have been completely utterly used. If she has to persuade you to have 'relations' with her- you've been punk'd. I'm a woman, and I do know that there are cruel women out there- just as many cruel men. Don't even bother trying to win her affection- she's got a boyfriend. As much as it hurts, she was using you for sex. When I'm trying to get over a guy, I eat lots of ice cream and chocolate and watch bloody, gory, action movies. And westerns. I don't know if that works for guys, though, haha. Good luck.

Answer 7

If she decided to stand you up and by the looks of it, use you, she isnt worth your affections. Maybe it was a crush and you will get over it. The thing tjhat made me feel better when my boyfriend used me to get (someone else) was being surronded by friends. Eventually i just forgot about that loset. But if you really do love her, ask her why she did what she did and look at it from her point of view. Talk to her and show her you care about her and if she doesnt get it i dont belive that she deserves you. You will find someone else if it doesnt work even if it takes long i promise.

Answer 8

Omg I am going through exactly the same thing...he told me that he had a girlfriend and "she might be it for him". I don't know why but I expected him to just leave her once he met me and focus on me and want to be with me but its not what happened. Sometimes I just torture myself and repeat those words over and over in my head. You can't help the attraction you feel towards someone; I mean, you can only do so much to try and suppress it, but sooner or later something is going to surface. In your case, you guys had a relationship. Was it worth it?

Answer 9

I would say that this is not a woman that you should waste your time on. She has already told you that she has no intentions of breaking up with her boyfriend. It sounds to me like she just wanted sex from you because her boyfriend was not around at the time. Just cut your losses now and forget about her.

Answer 10

Seriously, she just used your for your man ham. Don't waste your time on that hooker! You were there to fill a void while her REAL boyfriend was away. Don't let her do that or get attached to her. Tell her to use her finger next time, cuz you've got better things to do. SNAP!