Best friend's Mom passed away on Sunday...?

Question

I never know what to do in these situations. Do I call, or do I leave her alone? I will travel to attend the funeral this weekend, but in the meantime, is there something I can do to be of comfort? She's in Michigan, and I'm in Minnesota...

Hey Queen Pimp Bear. You're rude.

Answer 1

You can call her and let her know you are there for her. Sometimes just knowing that will comfort her. Don't call more than once or twice, because she will probably be busy, but knowing you care will be a big help.

My friends father died several years ago, and while it was hard, she said it was nice knowing that people were there for her.

Answer 2

If you are used to talking to your best friend often, I would put in a quick call to let her know you're thinking about her, that you'll be there for the funeral, and if she needs anything that she can call you. She might really really want to talk (in which case, let her lead the conversation) or she might be so overwelmed with everything that needs doing that she just doesn't have the energy. She might also be tired of "rehashing the script" and just want some peace.

Personally, I think that the very best thing you can do will actually be in the weeks and months to come. Call her to touch base, or email if that's more your usually style. Send her some flowers or something cute/fun to let her know you're thinking about her in a month or two. And if she seems distant or doesn't want to talk, just let her know you're willing to support her in that, too, and let her re-establish contact. I've worked with grieving families before, and so many of them find that the hardest part of the process is the time after the funeral when life gets "back to normal" but they are still faced with the loss. Some need the continuing support, some want to be left alone to readjust to things.

The fact that you are concerned about comforting your friend says a lot about you. Trust your instincts, go with the flow, and you'll do just fine. She's lucky to have a friend who cares.

Answer 3

Yes. Write her or call her and offer her your assistance and then follow up on that assistance about a week later. Do not leave her alone. A lot of people think that when a close family member dies that the family does not appreciate or want the interference, but it does really ease the pain to know that others care enough to offer anything they can, even if you never take them up on it.

Just offer. Then offer again later. Sometimes all she may want to do is talk about it, and you should listen. Don't expect her to "get over it" on your timetable or someone else's--let her go through her grief in her own way and take as much time as she thinks she needs. The comfort she gets from knowing that she has a caring friend will be more than you realize.

Answer 4

I'd say don't call before, unless there is something you really think you can help with. When my mom , died I needed time to grieve, I needed time to make decisions about things I did not really want to think about like what dress mom should wear. what kind of casket. etc. I Needed to be hugging my dad for comfort not hanging time on the plastic telephone. be there at the funeral, be there after the funeral after the funeral call
a week or so later and then talk with her, ask how are things going etc. call again or visit a week or so after that. before the funeral it had not sunk in. in days and weeks after that's when the comfort of friendship is needed.

Answer 5

Since your friend is experiencing a loss, you definitely want to be there to provide comfort and support. Calling once or twice would definitely help, just as long as you are willing to listen a lot and talk very little because many times grieving people just need to vent a little. But don't call more than a few times unless your friend requests that you call again; the extra calling may add unwanted / unneeded stress to your friend's life.

Answer 6

I believe that you should call and give her your deepest and most heartfelt condolences. You should then, give her a little more time alone and call her again before you go to check up and see how she's doing. Let her know that you couldn't possibly know what a pain like that must feel like unless you experience it. But, word of advice, don't try to act as if you know what it feels like if you never lost a parent because it could be insulting and even if you've lost a loved one, I'm sure that it doesn't compare with losing a parent. Best of luck to you.

Answer 7

Call her and tell her you're going to the funeral and let her vent, sob,etc. to you. She's your best friend! How would you want her to help you if it were your mother who died? And go to Michigan a day or two before the funeral to spend some time with her.

Answer 8

How old is your chum? purely be including her as a lot as you likely can for thus long as you experience she desires you there. If she keeps to refuse to eat/drink you may favor to take her on your community psychiatric ER or commonplace ER. If she refuses to pass willingly you would possibly want to must have her dedicated to a clinical institution hostile to her will. that would sound harsh (it contains calling the police and explaining the priority and they then shipping her to a clinical institution). It per chance the in straight forward words thanks to maintain your acquaintances existence. Do what you want to no remember what it takes! good success! you're chum is fortunate to have you ever there including her!!!!

Answer 9

I would call for sure and ask her if shed like to talk. Not necessarily about that even, just to talk. People are all different and if she is your bestfriend then you should have a good idea of things that she likes. Maybe give her something that would help her remember her mom. Can you make something for her?

Answer 10

Sorry. If I were her I wouldnt want to talk bout it. BUt you know what would help me? Maybe an I'm sorry card or some chocolates to help me know you cared. And then take her to her fav. places like an amusement park or the movies to help get her mind of her mom.