For the parents: Don't you just HATE it when people without kids try to tell you what you're doing wrong???

Question

Like when you're out in public and maybe your kiddo throws a tantrum, or is acting bad, and people either look at you like, "If that was MY kid, I would do this..." or when you spank them someone without kids gives you that pouty look like, "awww, poor baby....don't hit him!" They have NO IDEA what it takes to be a parent and they want to go ahead and give you pointers! Oh, I could just strangle them! Mother of three - 5 yrs, 2 yrs, and 6 months.

Or ya know, they think they have all the answers, and they know what to do....ya right!

I just want to tell those people, "Here, take my kids, you raise them and show me how easy it is, go ahead..."

And, I still get rude remarks that I may be raising brats!! (again, this comes from someone WITHOUT kids) anyone knows that children don't have to be brats that throw a tantrum. Again, they think they know all the right things to say and do - I just can't wait till' they have their own, then they will understand our pain!

Answer 1

Just tell them, "Yeah, I did all my best parenting before I had kids, too."

Answer 2

I hate it when people do that! I have a one year who doesn't listen to anything I say and laughs when I tell him no. Um, normal! My cousin, 0 children, always says "You need to start the time-outs now, and you need to spank him" First of all, I am with this child 24/7. I, and only I, know when and how to punish him.

Another friend, male married with 0 children. He told me yesterday that he and his wife were going to use clothe diapers...as diapers not spit rags. He says that I am a bad mother because I use "plastic" diapers. I just think that is the funniest thing I have ever heard of!

Anyway. Ignore it! I know it's hard, believe me. But, no one has ever been in your shoes and had to deal with those 3 totally different personalities.

Be the best Mom you can be..even if i means smacking a leg or two to get that no across.

Answer 3

I am a parent of a 4 & 5 year old. It takes a lot of nerve for someone who doesn't have children to have an opinion on how you care for your child. There are exceptions though. I was at a ballgame last month, and the woman in the bleachers in front of me repeatedly told her son (about 11 years old) "sit down and shut the hell up, stupid". He really wasn't misbehaving, yet her daughter (maybe 4) was climbing all over, and she would just smile at her. My son heard her (about the 4th time) and he tapped her on the shoulder and said "you're not supposed to say shut-up, its rude, and stupid is a mean word." She didn't say another word for the rest of the game. Hope she felt like an idiot because a five year old had more common sense and respect than she does.

Answer 4

I really don't let the looks bother me, and if someone actually says something I usually have a pat answer depending on the intent and tone of the offender. Minor offenses, I just laugh and say "You know, I used to think the exact same thing - then I had kids!"

Rarely, more obnoxious replies usually garner "You ever think about writing a book? You'd make millions, seeing as you know everything."

Honestly, it doesn't hurt to extend a little grace. We ALL did the same thing before we had kids, and all these people WILL be in our shoes someday.

Sign me,
A mom of three, 2 with special needs, who does feel sorry for those kids whose parents hit them, especially in public.

Answer 5

Kids don't come with instructions and people have different attitudes about how to deal with them. People that give advice without being asked are rude. Sometimes though somebody outside of a situation has a better viewpoint than a parent who is involved with it. It is okay to ask for advice when you do need some help. I would say just relax and don't worry so much about the rudeness of others.

Answer 6

I don't have kids but I certainly sympathize with you. You are either looked at like a child abuser or a careless parent. People need to worry more about their own business. I will say though that is VERY annoying when you don't have kids and you are at a restaurant with screaming kids nearby. You are paying for a nice relaxing meal and then you hear screaming... grocery stores are public and you can never expect too much however when you are paying to be somewhere as entertainment, it is much more annoying.

Answer 7

well, and the worst of it is that when Junior is throwing a wall-eyed fit at the store, you're stressed out enough as it is anyway..the worst time to be getting "the look" from helpers!! Also (in case there are any helpers reading) How do these people know why Junior is screaming..is he sick..or is he just being out of contol? How do they determine based on observation alone what the best way to handle my child is? People forget to mind their own business sometimes.. But on the other hand..some people forget that not everyone in the store thinks Juniors fit is cute..I have seen mommies who let their kids run wild and carry on all the while watching their child and looking at me like I'm supposed to find it as cute as they do. That is as bad as these people who stick their nose into your business.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

yeah, i know. they don't know the child's temperment or the situation or anything. they just see a screaming child and let their imagination take it from there. I tend to stay out of it unless there is blatant abuse taking place.

i have swatted a hand or put a warning swat on a booty here or there but never a full out spanking in public. to avoid people butting in i ususally give a reason to my child as to why she got a swat so onlookers know what they're looking at.

I hate when she's thowing a fit because i make her sit in the cart or something and i'm walking around the store and she's screaming... geesh the looks i get! i talk softly and calmly to her like "It's ok, screaming is not going to get you anywhere. you have to sit in the cart so you don't get lost" and when the people hear that they back off.

Answer 10

I totally agree with you. If they aren't parents they don't know anything about raising children. But I don't spank my children in public because of the things that go on around her with child abuse. They are just waiting to lock somebody up. But when we get home or in the car the do get in trouble and they know that ahead of time.

Answer 11

I used to be one of those people....I tried not to be and I never said it out loud to the parents, but under my breath or to a friend I would. Now that I have my own...I'm am reliving all those things I watched other parents experience. I see the people with no kids looking at me the same way I looked at parents when I had no experience. Boy do I feel stupid! I think it's just human nature...at least that's what I say to make myself feel better! :)