please answer this?

Question

Okay, i am 22, and I have four year old daughter. I live at home with my mom and step dad. I live at home so that I can have enough money to go to school. NOw, blah blah I know I live at home with my parents, but I am still a parent myself.

I do not ask for anything really of my parents. They buy what they want to buy, they watch my daughter when they want to watch her.

Here is the problem--my mom tries to take over my daughter, or so it feels. This is is a struggle that has continued since my daughters birth. I am by no means a bad parent. But if I try to punish my daughter in any way, she comes running from across the house, to see why my daughter is being put in time out or whatever.

If i tell my daughter no, to something like a brownie at 9 at night my MOTHERwill ask Why not?, right in front of my daughter and will argue with me.

Not only that, but I feel left out. They will go and take my daughter to seaworld, with out even inviting me or telling me in advance.

I by no means want to be considered an absent parent, but I feel that they push me out of the picture. if I want to buy her something, half the time they run out and get it first, just because it takes me a few more days to get the money together.

I feel pushed out, and even though I do want my daughter to experience these things I would AT least be invited to participate or maybe even get the chance to do it on my own sometimes.

the bad thing is that at anytime when my mom does not agree with something about my daughter she always yells out, "this is my house."

Answer 1

I know how frustrating it is to be in that situation but you are not alone. It practically happens that way. Your mum will always feel that you are still a child (no matter how old you are), too young to understand or not knowing how to bring up a child. She will always feel that she is the best person to do it for you. You should trust her for doing the best for you and your child.

Try talking to her. You will have to control yourself and think about how you are going to tell her how you feel. Why don't you remind her of your happy childhood moments with her. Tell her how you would like to have a chance to do your role as what she had taught you. Tell her how you appreciate her but it is your turn to have those lovely moments being a mother.

Since you are still studying. You still need someone to care for your daughter while you need your time off. It will be hard to move out and live on your own with your daughter.

Hope things will work out for you. Or else be patient wait until you have finished schooling. She is still your mum and your daughter is still in good hands.

Answer 2

I went threw the same thing, only I was only living at her house for about 3 months, I could not take it anymore. I had to move out. There is all kinds of assistant funding out there for single parents weather your going to school or not. Remember, this is YOUR daughter you need to stand up for what is right for her. So when you say no to a brownie at 9PM and grandma steps in and says she can have one, you have to put your foot down and tell her mommy said no and mommy is the boss.

You really should sit down with your mom and step dad and talk to them about this also. It is unfair to you that they are taking away everything that being a parent is all about when they have already raised their child. Best of luck!

Answer 3

I know what u mean. My boyfriend & I put up with the same thing with his mother. I simply told her, not meaning 2 b rude, I carried this child for 8 months in my belly and u have no right 2 push me out of his life wheather this is ur house or not. U had ur chance with ur kids, plz don't take my chances away from me. I might b young, I may need help, but I will ask when it is needed. Don't try to take my baby from me. She understood. She didn't speak 2 me for a few days, she still babysat though. after a while she was cool with it. Just let ur mom know where u stand where ur child is concerned. B.T.W. I'm only 23yrs old.

Answer 4

I would tell them that its your daughter and you need to be informed on thing so you know where you daughter is at all times...also tell your mom that YOUR the one that says if she can or cannot have something or do something...and that she is just a GRANDparent not your daughters parent...it might seem harsh but you need to tell them who's your daughters boss is because she can start disobeying you because of it! PLUS...theres all kinds of single parent grants and free money out there for people with children that want to go to school...use the money that your saving to get your own place and find other options for school

Answer 5

sweetheart thats parents I got a 3 year old daughter and I don't live with my moms but whenever she is around thats what she does

all grandparents are like that when I go to my moms house and tell her I want to watch TV or eat or whatever and she says no to me my grandmother does it to my mother and I am 28 years old asnd my mother is 40 something or so she claims and my grandmother is 80 something so don't let it bother you to much its the job of the grandparents to give the kids anything they want i bet you your grandparents use to do the same thing when you were younger

and yes I have my own job and my own place to live but sometimes you just need that food and love only a mother can give lol

Answer 6

You need to sit down with your parents and have a talk. Tell them your concerns, and listen to theirs. They might not intend to push you away or not include you in activities. If this doesn't work I suggest that the family needs to talk to a counselor. If they don't agree to work on a solution then maybe finding a different living situation is best for all involved.

Answer 7

Sit down with your parents and explain that you appreciate them allowing you and you daughter to live with them. However, your are her mother and it is wrong for your mother to contradict you, especially in front of your daughter. Be respectful when you talk to them. I would also suggest setting a goal to move out. It is difficult but you can do it.

Answer 8

I went Through this same thing. I tried talking to them and they did it nay ways. my mom would always say sorry she is just so used to being a parent and that drove me crazy. I went out and found a place that was a subsidy housing (your rent is based on your income) and I moved out. It helped me a lot

Answer 9

Oh my god, I can totally relate to you!!! My mom does the same thing to me..........and I do not live with her!!! I think she really thinks that I gave birth to this baby for her!!!! The only thing you can do is move out, and do it yourself........maybe that'll lessen the strain! It'll be hard, but you can do it!! You have to, for your well-being!! She will make you crazy!!!!!!!!!!! And tell her that you must be asked permission, you are the mother!!!! Hold that head high......and tell her!!!!

Answer 10

You need to talk to your parents. If they doesn't work. There are all sorts of assistance out there for single parents going to school. I would start checking those out if the talk doesn't help.