Who has hilarious story-jokes?

Question

I'd like to know! But please tell me only jokes that are suitable for 5 year olds and older! Thanks!!

Answer 1

there was this man who was very stupid. one day he went to take some helicopter lessons. when he started to fly, surprisingly he did very well. he went up to 250ft, then to500ft, then to 750ft, then to 1000ft. then he came crashing down. the teacher came and aske him what happened and the man replied "it started getting cold so i turned of the big fan."

Answer 2

Ahmed and Hamid are the two beggars at a number of provider stations in England. Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a private loan unfastened homestead, his spouse has loads of earrings and Ahmed continuously has a super variety of money to spend. Hamid and his relatives stay in a small council flat and are continuously broke. Hamid purely brings in 2 to 3 pounds an afternoon from his begging on an identical time as Ahmed manages to deliver homestead a suitcase crammed with £10 notes daily. Hamid asks Ahmed how he manages to attain this plenty greater powerful together with his begging. Ahmed says, 'look at your sign. It says, 'I have not have been given any artwork, a spouse and 6 youngsters to assist.' Britons who see that don't sense as though they are going to accomplish something by way of providing you with funds. you will nonetheless have not have been given any interest and a huge relatives. Now look at my sign.' So Hamid looks at Ahmed 's sign which reads: 'I purely choose yet another £10 to flow lower back to Pakistan '

Answer 3

Boy! Aren't you the picky one, considering where you are at.

Try this one on for an age rating.


God and the Harley Davidson Inventor


Arthur Davidson, the inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute, then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."

God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;

3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;

5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"

"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

Answer 4

your house my house,
you father my father,
your mother my mother,
your wife my wife.
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once there was a boy.He was asked by his teacher to do his homework.The boy went home asked mother to help him her mother said 'go out stupid'the boy noted in his book,he went to his father.His father was talking to his girlfriend he heard his father saying 'comon darling we will go tommorow' he noted.He went to school.Teacher asked heve you done the homework the boy said 'go out stupid'the teacher became angry and asked that should he take him to the principle the boy replied'comon darling we will go tomorrow'.

Answer 5

What do a bicycle, chicken, and frog have in common?

They all have handlebars! Except for the frog and chicken.

Answer 6

i once had a cat WHO WAS NAMED SH** AND A HOUSE NAMED A** WHO LIVED WITH ME ( A FAT OLD LADY) AND 1 DAY SH** GOT LOST AND I TOLD THE POLICEMAN WHO TOLD ME TO EXPLAIN LOUD AND CLEAR AND I SAID " I WAS WATCHING TV AND I COULDN'T FIND MY CAT. ILOOKED EVERY WHERE BUT I COUNDN'T FIND SH** IN MY A**." THE POLICEMAN STATED,"WOMAN, I DON'T GOT TIME FOR YOUR LOSS OF A CAT IF ITS IN YOUR A** THAN GO SH** IF ITS IN YOUR HOUSE THAN GO LOOK FOR IT!"

Answer 7

This is sooooooooooo funnnnnnnny!!!

Answer 8

Who is Stupid?...you are :) hahaha