I recently found out by accident that my friend was self harming again (she was severely depressed when she was 14, she self harmed a lot then and she tried to kill herself and ended up in hospital for a while)
She made me promise not to tell anyone, but I was really worried about her and I was scared she would end up as bad as last time so I told the school counsellor, but the school counsellor phoned her mum and told her and when my friend found out she took another overdose and they've put her back in hospital for a while because they said she's not safe just now. My friend is going crazy, she says she hates me and she'll never speak to me again.
I feel so bad, I just wanted to help her and now I've upset her more and made her try to kill herself again and I just wanted to help her. I don't know what to do now. I went to the hospital today but the nurses said she didn't want to see me. I just want to tell her I'm sorry, but she won't listen.
2006-07-03 02:31:21 · 27 answers · asked by Caira 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
You did the right thing sweetheart and I'm sure once your friend is feeling a bit better she'll appreciate what you did for her. Right now, she's very confused and depressed and angry, but when she's feeling better she'll understand that you only told someone because you were worried about her. The best place for her to be right now is in the hospital where she can't hurt herself and where they can give her the treatment she needs to make her better. Try not to worry about it, you did the right thing and in time your friend will realise that and will thank you for it.
2006-07-03 02:38:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do not stress yourself over what happened, it may not have been an easy thing for you to do, BUT it was the right thing.
Give your friend some space, maybe go talk to her parents to ease your mind, let them know that you are there for her if she needs you. Sometimes just being a friend is all you can do, no pressure to talk about things she might not want to, just doing the stuff that friends do, in time she may open up, but don't fret if she doesn't.
Maybe you could do some research on the internet into self harming, to help you understand more, never bring the subject up with her though, let your friend initiate any conversations of that kind.
2006-07-03 03:13:36 · answer #2 · answered by freehandorb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did exactly what you should have done to save a friend. You are to be congratulated and if I were you I would ask to see the Head teacher at your school and ask what the Counselor is playing at. She had no right to say where the information came from... You have absolutely no reason whatsoever to feel any guilt, not even the tiniest. I suggest you write a note to your friend explaining how hard it would be for you if you were to lose her. If she had meant to kill herself or do some serious harm, there was very little you could have done to stop her. You could not have been with her 24/7. Again, what you did was correct and in years to come your friend will appreciate what you did for her...................
2006-07-03 02:44:29 · answer #3 · answered by thomasrobinsonantonio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you and your mate, you were worried about your friend and i would have done the same thing if i was in your situation.
hopefully your mate will come round and realise you had her best interests at heart.... try sending her something into the hospital with a note explaining how you feel
there isnt much else you can do really except try and realise this isn't your fault, if she was self harming again she may have taken an overdose whether or not her parents were informed -she is ill and needs help and support and you were trying to give this to her but it backfired.... the main thing is she is now receiving support and is safe, and hopefully when she comes round she will realise you were looking out for her.
so sorry about your situation hun. i wish you and your mate all the best :)
2006-07-03 02:38:28 · answer #4 · answered by sinnedfairy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've done the right thing. Send her a card anonomously, then explain in detail what happened. Let her know you are very concerned for her and that you will be there for her, even if she doesn't want you to be. Then, when she gets better, you will be much closer because she will see you as a true friend that stuck it out when things were really bad. DONT GIVE UP! The last thing she needs is to lose her friend. Oh, and subtly suggest to the docs a cocktail of zoloft and welbutrin.
2006-07-03 02:38:14 · answer #5 · answered by sallymarlyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by telling someone. I myself suffer from depression and it is a very serious illness. Even though your friend at this time is very angry at you for telling she will realize later as she gets treatment for her depression that you did it because of the fact that you are her friend. Continue to be supportive even though she may not want it. Being there for her is the best thing that you can do. No, it will not be an easy road to hold but thanks to a good friend of mine I am doing well today. Keep the faith. And I hope that your friend gets well soon.
2006-07-03 02:42:11 · answer #6 · answered by pacifia1977 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the best thign. She now has the professional help and support she needs. She may not be talking to you now but when she comes out of hospital and has recovered and had time to get over she will understand that you had her best interests at heart.
I know this hurts right now but you did the right thing, you are a true friend to this girl. She doesn't know how lucky she is to have you!
2006-07-03 02:38:46 · answer #7 · answered by ehc11 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take one giant step away from this situation and examine it--is someone trying to kill themselves normal? could anyone say something or do something that would make you want to kill yourself? Probably not.
Your friend is way beyond being able to be helped by your friendship right now. She has deep issues that have nothing to do with you or anything you did. You did what you thought was best and anyone would have done in your situation. You would have felt much worse if you said nothing and she tried to kill herself, right? You did not make her OD, she was on that path anyway.
Maybe you could talk to a counselor for a little while so you can gain some distance from the situation and hear from somone objective that it wasn't your fault.
2006-07-03 02:36:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you did was EXACTLY right. If your friend is harming herself as you describe she is in deep trouble. What you did showed real care and has her in a place where she's less likely to harm herself. You are a good friend. If you think it would help you understand her behavior...check out the net. Lots of information about self abuse. You..once again..are a GOOD friend.
2006-07-03 02:40:20 · answer #9 · answered by twinkles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her youre sorry, you simply care about her and wanted to help, yes u probably took the wrong action but your scared her pain hurts you and so u panicked, you dont want to make things worse but u simply cant understand where shes coming from, she probably feels confused and afraid, u need to let her know your aware of that and its how u feel too. then its up to just the two of u talking sharing, listening, if u dont self harm u cant understand but as long as u listen it will help: dont say its for attention, understand it might not make sense even to her, its a personal thing. ask her how she wants you to help her and if shes doing it to cope with something else, because they can help her for that-ie get that self harm/suicide are ways of coping with the REAL problem.
2006-07-03 02:40:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋