Not your typical potty training question?

Question

I am in the process of potty training my son. I'll let him run around the house naked and having him sit on his potty from time to time. He won't go. He will hold it all day and I mean all day. By night fall he is screaming and crying holding him self and saying it hurts. Has anyone else experienced this? How can I make him go and not hold it? I feel so bad for him when he screams like that, he asks me for help and to get it out. I can't make him understand that I can't get it out, he has to let it out.

Has anyone else dealt with this before?

He is ready, and we have worked on this on and off for several months also he is going to be 4 in a couple months. The diaper is a safety net for him and I give in to that everytime(like I have in the past) he will never learn. He knows he has to go and tells me he has to go but he holds it.

Answer 1

My son told me it was dirty to pee in the toilet! (Yeh, cause it's cleaner in your pull-up?) Anyway, I used to put food coloring in and then around the time I thought he needed to go, I would ask him to see if the water in the toilet had changed color yet. Sometimes he would try to go, other times he didn't. Either way, It got him into the bathroom. Next step, I would put cheerios (gross) in the toilet and tell him to aim. Of course, I got him character underwear (he chose), and remind him that spiderman will not be happy covered in pee.

Many people mentioned having a roll model. That helps.

There are lots of things you can try. There are potty-trining videos, music, bathroom product line (wipes, soaps, toilet paper) from Huggies, books, reward charts/stickers, etc.

Good Luck

Answer 2

I haven't dealt with this exactly before, but I guarantee that the reason is because at 4 years old, it is a normal everyday thing to go in the diaper. The fact that you are not consistent with the potty is going to be frustrating and confusing to him.

You should try to set him on the potty, tell him it's time to pee, and just be really relaxed and encouraging. Sit with him as long as it takes at first. Bring books or let him sit on a potty chair in front of the TV, but he does not get up until he goes (the first few times) When he does go, praise him and clap and sing a little song and give him a candy ONLY if he goes. (We used mini-m&ms) Make a really big deal about how good he is and how big he's getting. I promise it won't take very long.

Answer 3

Have him pick out some big boy underwear and tell him he is a big boy and have him wear them. He will mess in them a few days until he gets it, but he will. Tell him that big boys use the potty. As he is peeing, run him to the potty and have him finish there. You might want to do the diapers for a few days to give him a break then pick 3 or 4 days when you can stay home and do nothing but this. I bought the 3 day potty training book.

We just went through a weekend with my son wearing undies and he is doing pretty good--only one accident in the last 24 hours.

Answer 4

Have you let him watch you or your husband go to the bathroom? Maybe he doesn't understand what he's supposed to do in the bathroom. Usually if you let him watch the two of you he will start to get it and be able to start going soon.
And, I noticed you said you've been working with him 'on and off' - that's probably another reason why he hasn't gotten it yet. Children need stability to be able to learn. You have to decide he's going to be potty trained, and stick with it. Don't go back and forth - it seems like now he's just waiting for you to give up again so he can start wearing pampers. Maybe if he realizes that he's not going to go back to pampers he will start giving potty training a better try.

Answer 5

i agree with answer #1...when you start potty training...you can't be gunghoe all the way.. if they don't respond correctly, you give it up for a few days, and then try again. i would try a training pant, and if you know he's going or about to go, take him to the potty then, get in the habit of taking him to the bathroom when he goes, even if the diaper is already wet or dirty and sit him down for a min, so he understands that's where it should take place

Answer 6

With my son, it was the sitting down thing--he refused to sit on the potty to pee. Once Daddy started showing him (by demonstration) how to stand up and pee, he took to it pretty quickly & BTW he hated the whole concept of the potty chair; had to be the big potty! Poop was a whole other thing; that took some time...

Answer 7

if your son is still young i would put him back into the nappy but if he is about four i would continue to try and train him.he might be just scared.i think you could encourage him even more than you properly already are.you could tell him how he is going to be a bigger person.you could also give him a reward when he goes the first few times.(but he might demand the reward even after he is trained)
you could try the website www.babycenter.com but i think that is about toddlers using the toilet more than the potty.just type in potty training in the search box.good luck.xxx

Answer 8

Does he have a male role model that he can help him by role modeling? I've also explained to a child I am potty training that the "pee" is sad when it has to be in the diaper...it wants to go be with the other "pee" in the toilet.

Answer 9

This is a fun one. My daughter didn't like to pee. It was yucky to her. We got the toilet tabs that turn the water blue and then we told her that her pee was yellow and if she wanted to see the water change color. She loved making it green and she wanted to make it turn color because she thought it was magic. It also helped her learn a few colors at the same time. If you make it a game he will enjoy it more. Also you can try hit the fruit loop where he has to try to get the pee on the loop and that is always fun for boys

Answer 10

talk to your ped. it's possible that he has an infection and it hurts him to go. either that or he's just not ready. wait for him to show you that he's ready. you can't force it. if he does want to sit on the potty try running water lightly from the tap to make a tinkling noise. that helped my daughter at first.