I have a friend with a wandering eye and I can't help staring. Does she see me looking at the wandering eye ? I try to focus on a neutral spot, like the forehead. It's really disturbing to me that I may hurt her feelings. Please help.
2006-07-03 01:43:03 · 9 answers · asked by kendraplattinum 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I actually have had a wandering eye, so I know how it feels when people look at me strange. The best thing to do was to just give me regular eye contact. To me, its the fact that you care like you do that means alot. Maybe even ask in a round about way. "Do people make you feel bad by how they look at you?" Thanks for caring.
2006-07-03 07:43:01 · answer #1 · answered by collegegrad 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, people with a lazy eye tend to have one that doesn't wander. I try to determine which is which as quickly as possible, and then I focus on the one that doesn't wander. It is challenging for me, as I want to look at the other eye, but I do my best to stay focused on the one that is staying focused on me. I have tried looking at a neutral spot, such as the bridge of the nose, but they can always tell that I am avoiding making eye contact, and that seems to make both of us more uncomfortable.
I have a mole sort of by my nose, but high up, under the inside corner of my eye. It isn't one of those big ones that sticks out, but more of a flat beauty-type spot. I also have a pierced nose, and I wear a discreet stud in my piercing. I can always tell when someone is looking at either of those, rather than looking at my eyes, and it makes me very self conscious. If they stare at my piercing, it doesn't bother me so much, because it is a bit unusual to see a pierced nose on someone of my age (late 30s) in the area where I live, but it really drives me bonkers when they look at my mole. I had someone ask me once how I could tell that they were looking at my mole when it is so close to my eyes and to the center of my face. The only explanation I can give is that eye contact is such an important part of communication that we all seem to be very sensitive to it, and we can tell when someone is not making eye contact.
Do you feel that you can talk to your friend about it? I am quite sure that she has noticed you looking at her wandering eye, and I am also quite sure that she is used to it if she's had the condition for any amount of time. Perhaps, if you feel comfortable, you might discuss it with her and just tell her the truth, and ask her where she would like you to look when you speak with her. It might make you both feel much better, especially if you can tell her that your main concern is hurting her feelings. Things like that are much like the proverbial elephant in the room; everyone knows it's there, but no one wants to talk about it. Maybe just getting it out in the open will make it a non-issue, or help you both reach a conclusion with which you feel comfortable.
I think, by the way, that it's really delightful that you are sensitive enough to care about her feelings. Some people wouldn't even bother giving it a second thought. It's nice to hear from a person who is kind enough to care ;)
2006-07-03 09:04:32 · answer #2 · answered by Bronwen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have one of your friends look at one of your eyes and then look at the other. You can't really tell which eye they are looking at. Don't put to much into all this. What ever you do, look normal and not stressed out.
2006-07-03 09:44:26 · answer #3 · answered by onefootnaked 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is one difficult question...I've experienced the same situation..you just don't know what to do. You can't very well -- hop all over the place every time one of the eye shifts.
I will look forward to seeing the replies.
2006-07-03 09:02:43 · answer #4 · answered by Moma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just look at her in the non-moving eye.. Don't sweat it too much.. Your uncomfortableness may manifest itself into a strained friendship.. Just relax and be yourself.. Just ignore it.. and be yourself. Your friend will appreciate it more for being you.
2006-07-03 09:50:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm, well, I got the same issue once, but I sorted it out asking the guy one if which eye is looking at me, and I started looking into it...that solved my problem...:)
2006-07-03 08:45:24 · answer #6 · answered by AreAce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually look at their nose or forehead.
2006-07-03 09:04:24 · answer #7 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just look at her in the face
2006-07-03 08:47:56 · answer #8 · answered by jthomasb5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at his or her chest/breasts....lol
2006-07-03 09:44:22 · answer #9 · answered by cabcp 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋