I noticed yesterday while leaving church, the pastor seemed really interested in my wife. He kind of shook my hand and then brushed me aside and grabbed my wife's hand and started talking to her. As he's talking to her and holding her hand, I notice his eyes keep staring at her breasts!!! Not just once but several times during the chat. And he never let go of her hand.
I know for a fact that he's having maritial problems but that doesn't mean he can hit on my wife! I am so angry I feel like going over there and smacking him today. I didn't do anything yesterday because I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. I asked my wife about it and she said that I was overreacting. Now I'm suspicious that there may be more to it than this one little handshake/eyeballing.
If he calls himself a man of God he deserves a smack down for being such a horny SOB. Please tell me if I'm being irrational. I'm a pretty good Christian but I have my limits. I'm going over there this a.m.
2006-07-03 01:11:40 · 38 answers · asked by idspudnik 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I think you are over-reacting.
You need to be a lot more sneaky than that if you want to catch them. They will both deny your claims and make you look foolish.
And, then, continue their affair and blame you since you accused them.
Life is not easy when you deal with people who are professional liars, such as preachers & priests.
Good luck, but talk to a good bartender before taking action. He'll know what you should do.
2006-07-03 01:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by Left the building 7 · 5⤊ 3⤋
Hold on thar pilgrim. Before you decide to go over there and do something that could get you locked up, maybe for life. Leave that phone and address so that we can judge if is worth it or not. Now I think you should perspective.
I agree with one of the post that you should be complimented that your wife is admired or ooggled as the case may be.
Every Human has weaknessess of some kind or another. But why become the victim of his weakness. Speaking of weakness, are you sure you are not over-reacting or exaggerating. If not the advice to find another church is sound. Pray for him.
Ultimately your wife is responsible for anything that happens beyond handshakes and gazes. Even changing churches or towns will not deter the activity that you suspect. Does your wife have a look alike. Introduce the look alike.
You do yourself a disservice if you go thrashing the Rev. you can only come out as the villian. Prison ministries are highly overated.
2006-07-03 01:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by LeBlanc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a Christian and reading an account like this does lots of damage to Christianity in general...not that I am interested in Christian bashing. I don't think that you're overreacting at all, and I would suggest that you talk to your wife first and get HER take on the situation before you go flying off of any handles. If indeed, there is ample reason to call your pastor onto the carpet, then do so with dignity, and feel free to point out that a non Christian is aware of what might have transpired and that it would be a shame if his actions were as lacivious as they appeared.
2006-07-03 01:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by chipchinka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words. The fact that you noticed someone subtly hitting on your wife screams out to the world that you love her and are very attentive to her.
Pastors are human too. They can even become a horndog too. Which is strictly forbidden. What your pastor is doing is strictly forbidden and unethical and innapropriate!
You are not overreacting. Simply and politely tell the pastor in person that the way he treats your wife makes you very uncomfortable and you don't believe it's right. Go ahead and point the exact things you saw. That's what I did in my situations and they stopped. If he won't stop or denies it go to a board member. Hopefully you are on good terms with one of the board members.
Good luck and may God be with you! =O)
2006-07-03 01:33:14 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just as politicians who make the laws and police who enforce the laws sometimes twist its meaning for self serving means, church leaders fall victim to temptation all the time. Just because a person is an expert on something doesn't make them any closer to a personification of the subject. And then, coupled with the fact that the subject matter is open to different explanations, it's even more likely that these BS artists would self justification as a means of survival?
2006-07-03 01:30:50 · answer #5 · answered by changRdie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to defend your pastor in this. It may not be as you feel that it happened. If your wife feels that you have overreacted, then that is a good gauge for what is going on.
If you are concerned about this, talk to him and get his side of the story. You need to be aware that your pastor is human just like you.
2006-07-03 02:36:02 · answer #6 · answered by Buzz s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing you have to remember is that your pastor is a man - not God.
You may consider talking with him, but if that is too emotional for you (or volatile) you can also block for your wife - keep between them. Also - don't tell everyone about it - it's not fair for you to do that. You can be angry, but to don't sin in your anger.
Mostly though, pray for him, he is obviously going through a rough time and is having some sinful thoughts. Find the way to forgive him, remember we are forgiven as we have forgiven others.
2006-07-03 01:29:41 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Vicki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel this way... why don't you confront him? Why are you addressing this on a public forum in front of godless people? If you are a pretty good Christian then you would know about what Jesus said about taking Christian matters and presenting them before the unrighteous. You would know how to handle this matter from what was taught in the Bible.
You may have a valid issue... but the method of addressing this issue is my greatest concern here. You need to get your heart straight and pray about it and discuss it with your wife... and then confront him together with your wife present. If he won't listen... you should know what to do next... if you don't... get to know the Bible and the words of Jesus whom you claim to serve.
2006-07-03 01:25:37 · answer #8 · answered by ddead_alive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if its on your mind then making him aware of your concerns is the best policy. It may mean moving to another church. If it reoccurs there, then maybe a closer look at you and your wifes thoughts and presentation may be in order. Pray about it! "Pretty good Christians" don't exist. You are one or you aren't one. We are all the same in the eyes of God.
2006-07-03 01:21:03 · answer #9 · answered by muleyone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing to remember is he is a MAN of God.
While part of that statement may not be true he is most assuredly a man.
I'm not condoning his actions.
I think I would just keep an eye on the situation and if it continues then you have a problem.
You said he kept staring at her breasts, I would hope that she wasn't wearing something low cut at church.
2006-07-03 01:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by drg5609 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Restrain yourself. I don't think a visit will be productive at this time. Explain how you feel to your wife and ask her (in a friendly calm way) if for the next few weeks could she please avoid the pastor. If the Pastor makes obvious moves towards your wife then confront him in a friendliest way possible together with your wife. Explaining your concerns. If he continues then a personal visit is in order!
2006-07-03 01:21:26 · answer #11 · answered by Odie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋