Everytime, he tries to pressure me into sex, and I get all into it but hen I back down becuase it just doesnt feel right. I want my 1st time 2 be with someone I love & the guy that loves me back too. Me & my BF are together 4 all the wrong reasons; he is with cause he just want to use me for my money & sex. And I realized this after 4yrs it was then I didnt love him anymore and I knew he didn't love me either. I started to resent hi, when he started to mistreat me & hurt me. I dont know If I ever loved him, maybe I did at first, until I realized maybe he was just using me. I just know that I cant have sex with someone I dont love. That is just the way I am. I cannot have sex no matter how hot & bothered I get. I dont know if there is something wrong with me. but I just hink my 1st time can be so much better with someone I love. I dont know if ill ever find real love, but I dont want to miss out on that if should ever happen. I am just with my BF cause Im scared to be alone & familiar
2006-07-03 00:58:49 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
& cause I am so used to him. I have grown accustomed 2 him -like a relationship of convenience or like he is like family cause I have been with him so long. I care 4 him but that is it. HOw do you know if you love someone or you are just with then for other reasons?
2006-07-03 01:01:07 · update #1
I believe that we either what to be with a person or not.
In your case you don’t want to be with this person.. so why give him your virginity out of pressure or pity?
Trust me, you’ll only regret it and end up feeling very very repulsed when you eventually leave him.
My advice:
Trust your gut.
2006-07-03 01:22:31 · answer #1 · answered by Deb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think just by thinking u dont love him u dont need us to tell u.. Its obvious.. U r not in love with him and it's better for you and him to break up now..dont keep it any longer since u know u dont love him.. I suppose it is normal that after a 4 year relationship he wants to go further but if u r not ready just tell him and try to talk to him.. I think it would be good if u gave ur relationship another chance because maybe all those feelings right now might just be a phase u r going through.. I would advice u to sit and talk honestly with you boyfriend and say everything that u dont like in ur relationship.. if he loves you he ' lll do what is best for you.. If things dont turn out good then it's better if u guys break up.. Its not good to stay with someone just because u r used to him or because u r scared of being alone..Dont be afraid of taking risks.. Be more independent and feel confident.. Im sure u will find the right guy to love and to love u back.. Make a new start and set some standards for ur life.. if u need any further help u can contact me at [fairywhisperrr@hotmail.com] I'd be happy to help ..
Best of luck =)
2006-07-03 01:14:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you are a very intelligent, sensitive person and need to follow your excellent instincts. Becoming "hot and bothered" is easy. Having sex with someone you do not love shouldn't be easy; there is nothing wrong with you!! In fact, it sounds as if there is alot right with you. You will find the right partner; don't compromise and don't be afraid of being alone. There are much worse things that that! When you do fall in love and have sex for the first time with the right person you will be very grateful that you didn't give in with the boyfriend you are with now. Stay strong!
2006-07-03 01:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel right with your BF then break-up with him. Just say that you don't think that you are ready yet. But if you don't have a cell phone don't tell him because he might go crazy on you and make you have sex with him. Then if he does do that just call the police or your parents. And also if that is the only reason you are with BF because you afraid to be alone, get over it! Get some friends. Get with someone you really love.
2006-07-03 01:09:38 · answer #4 · answered by Catalina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not give in to him you might regret it laterif he keeps pressuring you as you say it is because he only wabts his waydon't have sex with him if you , especially since you don't feel right, tell him how you feel be honest and take your chances even if it means you break up with him because if that does happen because you refuse then the relationship was not real anywayand you have really lost nothing, you can't loose what you haven't got in the first place, what ever you do don't give him your virginity he doesn't deserve it if he's pressuring you, sorry but that's not lovebut you are right you will not find love like this by staying with him and you w2ould be happier if you do keep your virginity for the deserving one who you will love so don't have sex with him you're a smart girl stay that way.
2006-07-03 01:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by I speak Truth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did not wait until marriage. It was three months before my 17th birthday. It was not what I expected, it was a disappointment. I wanted to try what all my friends had done. At the time, getting pregnant did not cross my mind or his. Getting married just because you can't wait is not good advise from your father. I do not recommend that at all. Only you can make this decision for you. If you choose to have sex, make sure that you are protected from pregnancy and std's. Did your parents wait until marriage?
2016-03-27 02:14:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a loser and trying to get candy .. face it.. get on with your life time is going by 4 yrs of waste.. i wasted 5 yrs of my time and energy the love aint there otherewise u would feel good and want to give him ur all and all that// no descent man will make u do it nor take ur money he should pay some as well .. the 1st time u ay not get the whole effect of all whas it about but by golly you will want to be giving and be happy when it is ur 1st time.. dont fall for that crap .. hold out for something worthwhile.. he sounds abusive mentally to ask u and pressure u and opther ways to is that what u can love about a person NO! abuse of anykind or pressure is mean. that is grounds for divorce in ur case dismissal it will be sad and hurt but it will be for the best till a new hunni comes along it will pass easier.. be careful
2006-07-03 01:04:25 · answer #7 · answered by gypsygirl731 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what u have ecided its not perfect ,,coz once if u feel that u r not going to love anymore then y u should with him ,,coz he might try to indulge u in sex for his sake by using any source ,i mean he can give u drink with seductive tablets and so on ,so 1st u have have to be a part from him,,and should be with any of your new frd's they can be ur co-mates ,,are even u r gal frd's home ,, because its dangerous to be with ,, the guy u said ,,its safe to keep away from him ,, in future ok , coz ther are many good people around ther in world soon u can find , but it will take some more days that'st got it but don't ever loose ur confidence ..that is it i can say u ..bbye
2006-07-03 01:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by satheeshshankar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey if u don't feel right about having sex,then DON't Do IT!!!!!
Trust want your insticts say..if that was me i would dump him!if he's mistreating u and hurting u then ditch him....exspecially if he's using u too..girl thats not a relationship..he should be pulling his weight too.....not living off u!
You can't find true love until u get rid of the mann who's bringing ya down!
2006-07-03 01:04:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...i don't think that I've ever been in a long term relationship like that, cause boys get boring after a while. But if there is even the slightest bit of doubt then don't even let him touch you and get out of there before something bad happens and before someone gets hurt.
2006-07-03 01:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your virginity...and get rid of HIM! You've answered your own question, sweetheart....now just get the courage to do what you want! And don't worry about being alone....your soulmate is out there...once you stop thinking that you're going to be lonely, and just live your life working on your dreams and goals....God will drop your perfect mate right in your lap, and you'll wonder why you worried so much!
Promise.... :)
UPDATE: once again, you've answered your own questions. You don't feel right with what he's pushing on you, that in itself tells you its not something you want to give to him freely. Tell him its over, that friendship is all you'd like with him. If all he's after is your virginity and sex...then he's not worth your TIME or effort...or love....
2006-07-03 01:02:30 · answer #11 · answered by CoastalCutie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋