i married 2 months ago,i love my husband but he is not a good husband,he is addicted to heroin &has a lot of bad friend,i am a computer engeener and he has a super market,what should i do?should i divorce????
2006-07-03 00:51:21 · 43 answers · asked by anna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he wasn't addicted when we married
2006-07-04 07:01:40 · update #1
hmmm, you or the smack?.... That's all it can be. Get out before kids show up.
2006-07-03 00:56:37 · answer #1 · answered by jonny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heroin is nasty nasty stuff. Leads to lack of control and other drugs. I would be concerned about diseases that could be transferred to you. Since it is only a 2 month addiction I would try to get him in rehab, if he refuses, you have no choice but to leave for your personal and financial safety. Sometimes love is not enough. If you accept this behavior now, it will never end you will have a life living with an addict. No money, no respect, always the possibility of personal harm. Best of luck if he won't get help or if he relapses, Leave. I have a 48 year old sister in law has been a drug addict since she was 16 she has drained the family financially and emotionally all that time and will die before she stops. You cannot change him.
2006-07-11 08:07:12 · answer #2 · answered by jodi M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a no brainer, either he loves you or not. He can either go to rehab, or you can get out. BTW, heroin addictions are very difficult to get over. He'll fight this for the rest of his life, and the odds aren't in his favor. Sadly. Please don't bring children into this marriage, whatever you do. No child deserves that.
BTW, he probably was addicted to heroin 2 months ago, you just didn't realize it. Some addicts are pretty good at covering their addictions. But maybe not, it's entirely possible to be addicted in such a short time period. He needs help, now. Best of luck to both of you.
2006-07-13 18:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that although you love him, he has to make a choice. Get help for his addiction or end the marriage. Why is this a problem now when 2 months ago it wasn't? He may feel betrayed that you married him knowing he was a herion addict and now don't want him or that in your life. Do not have a child with this man.
2006-07-03 01:00:16 · answer #4 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a feeling he was using when you got married. Two months is a short time. At least he was on his way to addictions.
Your vows were for better or worse. Thus, first you need to try to get through the worst. Get him in a rehab. You might need an intervention plan. Give him a chance to get clean and stay clean.
Don't give him a lifetime of second chances. If he can't pull himself out of this- you at least did the best you could do and then you move on.
It is a hard lesson to realize the Love does NOT conquer all.
We want it to but in reality it doesn't.
Call around for local rehab options. Talk to a doctor, a pastor, his family or anyone else who can help you get him some help.
A herion addiction is hard to beat. If he is commited to rehab......you can be his strongest support. If he chooses to continue to use, you need to make sure that you don't get stuck in a horrible cycle of addiction. Get yourself some support in the process. Give him a chance to beat this- this is in his hands- if he can't do it, then you move on.
2006-07-16 16:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband probably had the problem with drugs way before you married him. You probably just chose to ignore it or was in complete denial. Now that you are married you are really feeling the effects of his using. Please know you can never change anyone, especially believing if you marry them things/they will change.
Unfortunately, you are married..The vows you took were for better or worst. However, your husband will have to make the decision of getting clean on his own. There's really nothing you can do for him. He needs to first admit he has a problem, and want to get the help he needs to get his life back on track. As for you wanting to know what you should, you just need to be there for him. Not financially but for emotional support. It will get worst before it gets better. The question is how much are you willing to put up with, and what measures are you willing to take? No one can tell you what you should do or what you need to do. Only you can decide that for yourself. And as far as you being a computer engineer (in which you spelled engineer incorrectly) has nothing to do with you and your husband using drugs. My father was also an engineer, in which it did not stop him from using. Drugs have no boundaries regarding age, race, sex, religion, or profession. So please understand that. The difference that separates those that use and don't use is weakness.
2006-07-16 15:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry hun. Ihad an ex who had a coc prob i never seen...till it was to late.He knew i wouldn't agree or like it so he hid it from me.So i can see how you might not of known.IVE BEEN THERE!!!First if i was you ........i would try to talk.Don't do the you did this, you did that cause then he would feel like he's being attacked and will shut down and not communicate with you.Tell him I am hurt, I don't know what to do,I want to help you.give him all the I feel i feel i feel.He would be more receptive.Next once you get him talking,,,,try to get him to quit on his own, if not possible...........ask about a rehab,if HE wants to quit it will work..IF not, then honey it won't work and will be a waste of time and money and heart ache.He needs to get away from those so called friends ,,,,,,can you move?Transfer?AGAIN........if he wants to quit he will agree....if he don't want to do it...he will just find a new group of them where ever you go and..it won't work.YOu have to show that you are there for him.IF ALL else fails..........seperate.but i would give it some serious time.Talk to him when he's coming off,not when he just had some and is raring to go.i hope it gets better honey. If you need to talk more im me.ive been through alot more than i should ever have been.
2006-07-15 05:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by 2good4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship for 14 years and the last 3 years he got addicted to herion,I stayed foe 3 years because i thought that with my support he would get off it but he did'nt.I had 2 kids and it destroyed my life and theirs get out while you can and don't feel guilty.Iif he loves you more than the smack he will come for you when he is clean.Please get out as there are no winners you have to let him decide for himself what he wants no matter what you say it has to be him.
I got ou 8 years ago and now have a wonderfull man and a baby so things worked out alright,I am a much stronger person for going through that and i understand how hard it is to go when you love someone but go and let him make his choice
good luckxxxxx
2006-07-03 02:55:27 · answer #8 · answered by debbie a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to try and get him to clean up, and if that fails to get a divorce ASAP. Insist that he go to rehab immediately.
If he's only been addicted a short while, the problems haven't started yet. If he continues with the heroin, he will lose his super market, his health ,and possibly you.
The thing you need to keep in mind is that the heroin is going to take over his life. His love is going to be for heroin, not you.
He is on the "Highway to Hell" and is going to drag you with him if you allow it to happen.
2006-07-14 16:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave now divorce right now and it can ruin your life. If you not want to leave him then you will be end up recored for crime you didn't do and he have heroin and other friends. coming to your house or apt. and that not looking good. and Just leave now and protect yourself becaue you are computer engeener and you don't want to ruin that job career..
I would say leave now and I dont know why he started using that and he might using the money of yours for drugs. and Just leave now and free from him than making your self more worst.
I don't care what happen to him if he got killed going to jail for life or whatever he made that choice.
2006-07-11 04:14:05 · answer #10 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been in that possition but not married and we have a child . he most likely was addicted before you married him and in most cases until they either loose everything, run out of money and friends , get caught or die they wont quit. i would say take him to rehab but unless he wants to quit he will just walk out the door and probaly would be pist off at you so i would find his stash and call the police and have him arrested and then serve him with divorce papers and leave him but that is not easy to do soo maybe you should talk to his family about it and him too but if it becomes to much just leave him because if he dont WANT to quit he wont ever
2006-07-15 19:05:01 · answer #11 · answered by bettyvittitoe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋