My boyfriend says he really wants to marry me but he's scared of not being good enough for me, he's worried it's not always going to be perfect - he knows he has to get that mindset out of his head as marriage isn't always going to be perfect but he's scared of taking that big leap. We're both Christians and he's not scared of committment, far from it. We've been talking about marriage from day one...what advice can I give him?? I want nothing more than to marry him..and I know he feels the same but it's getting me down...I got upset cos two of my cousins have recently got engaged and he said something like, 'so will you be, within the next ten months'...what can I say to help him make a final decision??!
2006-07-02 23:55:07 · 14 answers · asked by Bridezilla 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You need to boost his confidence in himself and to keep showing him how much he means to you. It sounds like he has a real issue with self belief and he needs your love to be evident so that he has no doubts. Just keep showing him how much he means to you, talk to him and tell him all the wonderful things about him and why you want to be with him forever, you may have to tell him more than once before he gets the message. Marriage is indeed all about compromise and it is hard work, but he's half way there already if he is in a relationship with you!
2006-07-03 01:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 19⤊ 1⤋
My dear friend,
I read this and I know what it is all about. You do not get to a ripe old age without seeing life. I believe you are both good people, and both in love. I am a man so I will put this as delicately as I can. Some men, not all but some would like the decission to marry to be theirs. If you spoke of marriage since day one as you say, the decission is not his but yours jointly. There will be a defining moment when HE wants you to marry him and he will ask you, not knowing the answer already. If he knows the answer already there is no need for the question! You need to measure the next bit, but you need to cool off the subject a bit and make him work a bit harder for that which we both hope he wants! I know it reads like a mind game, but we men need the chase. These are my thoughts, as I say I have seen this before and she put the pressure on for a ring and he ran! Despite the fact that they were a perfect couple!
good luck you can write again if my verbal is not clear.
2006-07-03 00:08:08 · answer #2 · answered by Tim T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you know it will be hard and you don't expect the relationship, the marriage, or him to be perfect. But that you feel that If you two are so much in love there should be nothing to hold you back from that last step. he can read Ephesians 21, I believe it is, and get an Idea on what the bible says about Christian husbands. If that doesn't work, then I don't know what to tell you. Sorry I couldn't be of more help sweetie.
2006-07-03 01:19:06 · answer #3 · answered by bibliophile1437 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him yeah is will be hard. But also i think do pressure him. I will also be getting married in a few months. my guy is out to sea and asked me over the phone. Before he left i really wanted him to ask me to marry him. We even talked about it. I told him i would not pressure him into doing anything he was not ready to do. I can understand that yeah its a big leap. am scared a bit myself. but its something wonderful especailly with the person you love the most. tell him that he is not the only one going though with this. you are both in it together and nothing is ever perfect. you can only make things the best you can and be happy with it.
2006-07-03 01:32:59 · answer #4 · answered by Harmony R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is just talk to him. Keep telling him that you love him and will be there for him always. Tell him not no marriage is perfect and you're both gonna makes mistakes and get mad at each other. In the end you will become closer and more loving towards each other. If he wants to, tell him you two will go to talk to someone. It would help!
2006-07-03 04:13:28 · answer #5 · answered by duke baby! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him an altermatum. He's just worried he's not going to live up to expectations then he just needs a shove in the right direction. My friend (who is a Christian too) handed her boyf her Grandmother's ring and said 'You've got 4 months to hand that back to me, on bended knee or Im off' (no he didnt take the ring n scarper).
2006-07-03 08:56:27 · answer #6 · answered by Wicked Top. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just say to him it will be hard no matter what time he does it there will always be something every relationship isnt perfect all the time but if he really loves you and wants to be with you for the rest of your life's then its worth taking the bad times if you are a solid couple to me it sounds like you are then you will get through anything. or you could propose to him good luck and i wish you both happiness
2006-07-03 00:05:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The final decision is his.If he really loves you he will marry you,whether problems or not.In all marriages you find disagreements, but you just learn resolving them.
2006-07-03 00:33:32 · answer #8 · answered by Bob Mukonka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly wasn't scared of commitment, he wouldn't be saying these things to you. The man is terrified. Either give him time or move on. It's going to take him a while before he truly commits, if he even does!
2006-07-03 02:38:57 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ask from him y is he scared of not being good with you? y does he think like that the the marriages is not always going to be perfect in his case?
tell him to stay +ve, think +ve and believe in +ve attitude!
talk to him in detail about good and bad times of ur future... tell him to to believe in GOD....tell him that we love each other and no matter whatever happens (bad) we'll fight together...
Good LucK dear!
2006-07-03 00:07:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋