heres the thing... i wanna move to a dorm but my parents wont let me!!!?

Question

all my life i've been dedicated to being the good kid. my grades are good, i dont smoke, drink, hit the pot or anything like that. then i hit college. but my house is too far away from the college. more like 2 hours of commuting away. when i transferred schools, the distance is still the same but i bacame an irregular student. so somedays, i only have one class that lasts to an hour give or take... travelling to school takes more time than actually being in school and its tiring me out! somedays, i get so tired, i dont wanna go to school anymore. p.s. i've never had a boyfriend my entire life.

not only that, but ever since my mom had a fight with my aunts, our house has been nothing more but a brewing pot of trouble. i can't stand staying inside that house without getting sick and depressed and no body ever notices me anyway.

my mom wont let me stay in a dorm without good reason. how do i tell her? shes got to have the worlds thickest skull. and wont listen to reason

Answer 1

My suggestion is this.

First, make a list of all the reasons why you believe you would do better on campus.

Second, create a list that shows how responsible you are.

Third, make sure to research the matter thourgly and know what you are going to say to your parents.

Fourth, sit down and have a heart to heart with your parents. Try and schedule at a time when neither one of you are busy.

Finally, listen to what they have to say first. You want them to be willing to listen to you, so listen to them. Make sure are VERY RESPECTFUL. Don't role your eyes, don't huff, or try and interrupt them. I'm saying this, because it will make you look more mature in their eyes. Then, you can start discussing their concerns. If it is with being a responsible person, then you have your list. Then go over your reasons for wanting to be on campus and go over their concerns that they bring up.

You may find in the process, that you may not want to move on campus, or they may be more willing to let you move. However, this may not change the situation, but at least you had a chance to share your side, and have a say.

One final thought, who is paying for the majority of your tuition? Let that also be a consideration. Know that they love you more than life itself. I'm sure it's not because they are being selfish, but want to take care of you and give you the best chance in life.

Answer 2

Growing up is about making your own decisions and then abiding by the consequences. Unfortunately, it sounds like your Mom isn't ready to admit that you have to make these decisions for yourself.

You might try telling her that you want the experience of a dorm for one semester so you can get some experience with independent living. Find a department on campus that will offer you a small job or volunteer.

At some point you'll need to take control of your life. Staying with your Mom is the choice you're making right now. Try to be easy with her, it's hard to let go of your children.

Answer 3

man thats too bad, college is as much about becoming independent and learning things about yourself and others as it is about learning what they're teaching you in class. Tell her that and see what she says, would she deny you that? Unfortunately, she's probably paying all your bills right? If she is then think hard about what you really want and if you want the independence more, get a job and move down there youself, you can find really cheap places to live around college campuses and keep your cost of living down in many ways, just don't expect many luxuries.

Whast also really sad is that this is the type of behaviour on behalf of parents that leads to children rebelling in ways that are damaging. Like denying you for too long makes you go out and get it whenever you can. Be smart and realize if you're tempted to do things just to spite your parents that its for a bogus reason.
Good luck

Answer 4

Ok first off, you are a big girl. You need to explain to your parents that A) You've never been in trouble, B) You are 18 + years of age and as a legal adult have the right to make your own decisions and that you are only consulting them out of courtesy and respect, C) It will help you to make new friends, D) They have to let you grow up sooner or later

I understand they might be paying for your schooling so that could attribute to some of your fears. However, especially if they are'nt paying for your schooling; if it was me, i'd just say ok, enough is enough, i'm moving. I'll still visit you on time off, call you, etc, but enough is enough.

Answer 5

Welp.. That is how your culture is. I know it very strict. Your family is too much on the book. I had an Indian friend that I use to work with. She is soo strict that she say that if her daughter ever go out or married any other races, she'll disown her own daughter. To me I think that is too much.. You're not the the only one.. I pretty sure there Indian girls out there that are in your situation too. But hey, you're in America now. Once you hit the age of 18, you can do or go to any college or University you want. Best if you just do what your parent are told since you're under the age of 18. I don't know about in India. But here in the US, Your parents can't force you to married some random guys. I'm a guy and I'm not Indian but I'm Asian. My culture is very similar to yours. My culture are very strict towards the females. Just as yours. But as the years gone by it start to get less strict because because they realize that they're in the US now and a lot of us/their kids or the younger new generation don't go by the book anymore. And the parent can't do anything about it. But there some that are still strict. We also have arrange marriage too.. and I think that is that is some BS.. To me.. how can you make a marriage work if you two just barely know each other. haha shoot just might as well go have sex with a random person out in the street.. Thats what I think about that. The worst part is(I don't know if you guys are)but in my culture, if a women gets married and her husband is having an affair or is abusing her and if she divorce her husband. They will look at her as a bad wife, no good, a whore, and everything you can think of. Thats made her look bad. and it make me sad too see how they can get away with this.. Anyways. Your parent are still too much on the book. and I don't blame them. All they want is the best for you. But I still can't see the whole arrange marriage part. But like I say earlier.. You're in America now, once you're 18, you're an adult and you can do whatever you like. even if your parent call the Police on you because you're not listening or don't do what they wanted you to. All they'll do is look at your parents and laugh. But yea. If I was you. I'll do what your parents say until you hit the age of 18. Just try to avoid any arrange marriage that your parents had for you. Tell them that you still going to school and you're not ready for marriage. and once you're 18.. They can't force you to married some kind of stranger that you don't know. In matter of fact. They can't even force you to get married if you're under 18 anyway.. Thats by law, unless you agree to it. Remember.. you have a CHOICE to how you want to live your life, NOT your parents. Your parents are only guidance , They can only guide you soo far, unless you want to them to make all the decision for you. Welp I think I wrote enough here. I wish you the best, hope's everything goes rite for you.

Answer 6

Guess what? You're an adult now and have to take control of your life. If you're smart enough for college you should be able to figure this out. Get a job, pay your own tuition, and move to the dorm. Once you demonstrate that you can take responsibility for your own life, your parents might respect you more and help out.

Answer 7

Is it the expense of the dorm? For the reason they don't want you to dorm.
It's cool being free, go to another college in a different state. Make sure your reason has a spine. Back it up. Be smart. Inform yourself on what that specific school has to offer. Move, time to cut the umbilical cord. Young adults want freedom, but sometimes are not able to adjust themselves for the freedom.

Answer 8

students who live in dorms typically do better in college and are more active in extracurricular activities, which can help with job applications and getting into grad school. But be careful, not drinking or smoking or having sex when you're living with your parents is one thing, when you're out on your own and living with someone the same age as you, the temptation is a little stronger, and you don't have the advantage of knowing your limits before college.

Answer 9

A good reason is the cost of gasoline, and the fact that your commuting is interfering with your ability to study well, which will affect your grades. Staying on campus also makes it easier to access the campus library, and other college resources. It is hard to become in campus activities, and gain leadership experience which is helpful on your resume when it comes to job hunting time. It also allows you to experience new people and learn to get along with vastly different people.

Don't mention to her that being on campus is usually more fun.

Answer 10

look boo, once u turn 18, it's a wrap!!! they can't say any thing cause it's you life. i moved out of my moms house when i was 18, and never looked to move back. u'r mom might be mad at frist, but when she see how u are conducting yourself in an orderly manner, and you could handle it, she'll come around. that's your mom and she have NO other choice but to love you!!