Am I crazy to think that i can forgive God?

Question

I dont understand my stand with God.I used to be a born again christian.Some years back I lost two kids.The 1st one during birth & the 2nd one 6 days after birth.I believed that God will see me through the next pregnancy.The bible says "What father could give his child a snake when asking for fish?" I trusted the next pregnancy i will get a fish.After all the bible says God does not rejoice in our pains. But I was wrong, i didnt get the fish i wanted. I know God has plans for us and His plans are good. Maybe i failed to understand that bcos i needed a baby by that time. Anyway, I have a beautiful 1 year baby who is a blessing to me.& i believe with all my heart that she is a gift from God.& i thank God for her every day.But what is troubling me now is that i stil blame God for the babies i lost & i dont see my relationship with Him working out without forgiving Him.If He could walk on water what about my baby's life?I know i sound crazy but thats what i feel & thats the truth

Answer 1

When You get to Heaven you'll have two Babies to hold, God did not take your Babies from you just like he never took my Daughter from me, but they are in Heaven now waiting for us to join them, and He doesn't blame us for our anger at the loss, He lost a Son for us and knows how we feel.

Answer 2

I've already seen two answers that you should definitely ignore, the first one being the one that tells you to blame yourself- don't. The second that I think is wrong tells you to obey like a good little sheep. Do what your conscience tells you is right.
What's crazy is that you seem to be looking for a cause and someone to blame. There was no cause and nobody to blame. Death is a part of life and whether it is God or nature you have no control over it. What's more, how do you know it was one and not the other? The truth is that you don't. God may not have had anything to do with it. Don't question your faith because you suffered a loss, but don't attribute every little thing that happens in life to God's will either.
What disturbs me most is that you continued to have this desire after losing the first one. Don't you have any other goals in life than to produce children? An education perhaps? Maybe a career?

Answer 3

The book of Job tells us a story about a man who is plagued with loss when God tells the devil to do with him as he wishes. Through it all we are left to wonder why God would allow anything bad to happen to a man so devoted to him. In the end Job forgives God and is rewarded with what he lost being given back to him. I'm not saying you are crazy. I myself have lost so much over the years I lost my way with God. But in the end, and I am not ashamed to say it, though I am afflicted with type 2 diabetes and all the problems that can come with it, that I can blame him for it. It is in fact a reminder to me that I am human and I must remember that I am not above anyone or a machine that can push and push until I break down. I am broken and the odds of getting fixed are gone. But what he did give me was a chance to recall the fact that I am still alive and that at 35 I still have things to do and get done before my time here is done. You can forgive him, never forget, and yes feel as though you are wrong to have done either. You are what he made you to be, a human being. He can ask you for no more than you asked of him. If you feel that he denied you then you will feel that way. Wounds sometimes never heal and we walk around wishing they would. But in the end, if you have the strength, you will forgive him and he will bless you in other ways.

Answer 4

You don't forgive God.
He forgives you.
You're blaming God for the deaths of these children but noone knows the end from the beginning like God and we are to trust him that he is God. Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that I am God.
Trust God
Thank him for all the blessings..
Have faith in Him.
You are angry at God.
God needs no mans forgiveness.
Ask Jesus. Lay on your bed tonight and picture your head in Jesus' lap, the comforter, with his hand on your head feeling your pain and seeing you so distrought. Tell Him all about it. Everything. Pray for direction and guidance and ask him to heal you from your pain and he will. I believe it. I am praying it for you.
My 25 year old cousin just got killed in a car accident.
we were very close.
His mother thought God would raise him from the dead like He did Lazaurus.
He didn't.
She's praising God that he no longer has to live in the sinful world and be tormented by the devil every waking moment.
It was God's will to take him.
We don't know why but trust in God and lean not to your own understanding.
Ask Jesus to help you to understand what to do.
I hope I made some sense.

Answer 5

First I'm disturbed with some of the callous answers, how rude and insensitive some people are is alarming! This woman is obviously in pain and some of you are just vying for points by answering. Perhaps you should look at your own unresolved anger issues.

As for the question, I feel for you. This has got to be hard. There's the saying, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle," while it's not very comforting while you're angry is something to hold on to.

We live in an era when child mortality is low, but it still happens. Babies are weak and this world is hard. Perhaps they weren't strong enough souls to stay here, or perhaps they accomplished what they came here for. Sometimes those missions are revealed to us later on in life.

The one thing I wondered about was your statement that, "I needed a baby," that is kind of demanding of God's powers. Well, your desires aren't always God's desires and I wonder if God thought you would be a better mother after experiencing loss for some reason? I'm just speculating here.

I hope you can think of your babies in God's hands and that you were given them for a short time was a gift. I don't think you should forget them, but instead of looking at the loss, look at the positive. Heck, lots of women can't even conceive in the first place.

I wish you well.

Answer 6

Even though you are mad at God... you may very well be... but God doen't need your forgiveness. he needs your HEART... and I can't imagine what's like to lose your kids, but you have to keep in mind that : 1'st you are not God.
2'nd you don't know everything...
You are stuck on what you feel instead of trusting God even when it doesn't make sense... and here's the real test,,, God wants you closer! That's the purpose of the trials in life to get you closer to God.
If you love your kids soo much, imagine that God who is love, and invented love, and made you to love, loves them much more than you can imagine or describe the concept of Love.
He also loves you that much as well..
After all doesn't the Bible say that all things work together to good for those who love Him??? You have no idea what would have happened to those kids if they lived on... you can't tell whether you might have to see them suffer of something, and their little hearts to take soo much pain!! Or, the pain you feel now that you lost them migh not be as great as if they lived and you had to see them going through stuff and couldn't do anything about it...
So try to do a reality check and really trust God. That's what is all about... God says that His thoughts about you are not for destruction but to give you a future and a hope...
So it really comes down to how much do you trust God..
He'll catch you everytime when you fall, he'll carry you when you can't walk.. but he doesn't need to be forgiven by you, becasue God does not cause evil or tempt anyone... He's got your best interests at heart. My gosh you are His child, do you think he would want to crush you???
The babies are safe with God.. you should know that.. and he can take care of them better than you could. Okay??
It's hard, but focus on making sure you get to heaven cuz you'll see your babies again that way...
WHatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger... You need to see that and the fact that God has never left your side. But he doesn't barge in, you have to call out to him. Okay??
Go to your church, and make sure you get some counseling...

In the mean time I will pray for you so you can arrive to see into God's heart.

Answer 7

No, you are not crazy. You have been through a lot, and its natural for a person to have this anger and confusion. You might read Job. He went through a whole lot of suffering, and also dealt with his anger and reconciliation with God. Take some time to read this. I would encourage you to read the whole Book of Job, but if you're not up to it now, at least read the first part to where he loses all, and then skip ahead to the last chapter where he does get his strength back, and repents and accepts what has happened. There is still a surprise I haven't told you about, so go for it.

Answer 8

"that is what I feel & thats the truth". The ending words prove that what you like is your right. To such a God, why do still cling on? You didn't do it yet. It means there is some unbreakable relationship between you and Him. Here the problem is our understanding. Your Creator has a wider view of the whole subject. But our thoughts are initiated by our likes. You say that your 1 year old girl is a real blessing. But your Creator knows what you would be if you had your two other kids too with you now.

Answer 9

There is trouble all around us, and lots of people blame God for it. If you believe in God, then you have to believe in satan too.

I lost a child 8 years ago, he was 12, and died in a tragic accident. I have never blamed God, because I know my God would not do that to my son. We live in an unperfect world, and bad things happen. I don't understand why my child died, but I know that God didn't kill him, and I know that through it I have learned to trust in God even more. We have a choice, - to get bitter or better. I trust God in my loss, and know that He has the key to all unknown, and one day the last piece of that big jigsaw puzzle will fit, and we will see the whole picture.

Answer 10

I share in your pain. My wife and I had three miscarriages intermixed with the birth of five wonderful kids. I know my mother had a miscarriage just before getting pregnant with me. Wow, as strange as it sounds, I would not be alive today if she had not miscarried.

Our family has friends who have gone through this, too. One couple had a child die about a year ago and their second is in the hospital now...a new born who needed heart surgery within hours following birth.

These are tragedies. Our world is cursed with sin and sin leads to death. This is sad and we should grieve and doubt. But in the midst of all this, we experience grace. My wife and I envision seeing those children in heaven someday. We have even thanked God that they could go straight to Christ's arms without having to go through the pain life brings us. And I will confess, every once in awhile, I stop and wonder "What if?"

You can't forgive God because He has not sinned against you. He is the author and finisher of life. He owes none of us anything. Job was correct in saying the Lord gives and takes away. Blessed is the Lord. He said this on the day he lost all ten of his children, all his wealth and all his health.

You have the right to grieve and doubt, but I am very confident that our Lord will over time give you many opportunities to serve and comfort others because of your experiences. Blessings to you.

Answer 11

To thank and praise God for the good, but release Him from any and all responsibility for the bad is logically irrational and internally inconsistent (and thus you are not crazy, but indeed are only being rational). However, I cannot think of a religious dogma that will agree with this.

Of course, since most religious beliefs are inherently irrational anyway, the above is hardly a valid objection - faith over rationality. Furthermore, since religion is innately subjective, one can hardly give on objectively determinable 'best answer' - it will ultimately be up to you to come up with or select the best answer on your own.

That having been said, most established theological positions would take one of the following two variations:

1. God is not to blame for your tragedy, it is the fault of you yourself/other humans/Satan/bad luck.

2. God is not to blame for your tragedy, He was actually doing something that will help you in the long run and/or is testing you.

The position is understandable - it would be far more difficult to convince doubters to follow a God that is imperfect or morally ambivalent, than it is to convince them to follow a God that is perfect and good.

But what is the true nature of God? That is ultimately up to you and your faith - all other humans are as close to God as you are, and are just as likely to be wrong.