I am SO scared?

Question

im 20 yrs old I might be pregnant (pretty sure i am) and if I am i feel that the best thing to do is to get an abortion. I hate that word and never thought that I'D even be saying it but nows the time :( im pretty sure im pregnant but im scared that if i am , in not going to be able to follow through with what I think is best. My bf dont want me to but also understands at the same time (i already have a child) my point/question is i need advice, point of views from each side. I LOVE kids but now is not the time for another I am such a good person and know I would feel HORRIBLE if i did this.....but i need to, its whats best...i dont know, im so upset. THIS IS THE HARDEST DECISION I EVER HAD TO FACE, I AM SO SCARED

Answer 1

Hi, hon. I'm going to be blunt here, but trust me when I say it is from an honest desire to help both you and your baby. Whether or not it is a good time for another child, you HAVE another one, and she is depending on you for love and protection. You would never let anyone hurt your born child, right? You would probably kill them first! Then can you imagine what it will do to you if you pay someone to harm the child inside you? One child is not worth more than the other. They are equally your children, and the child inside you needs your protection even more than your born child, because it is her life at stake.

You mentioned taking the abortion pill. Do you know how this works? It interfers with a crucial pregnancy hormone, which causes the placenta to stop providing nutrients and oxygen to your baby. She starves and suffocates to death inside your womb, and then another pill is taken to cause contractions which push her body out. This can take up to a week, and as you can imagine, it is very traumatic to see your own child's body in the toilet and know you were responsible. You do NOT want to spend the rest of your life carrying around that kind of guilt. It never goes away. Also, 10 women have died from taking the abortion pill (details below).

Please, get all the information you need by taking a look at these sites:

Information on the abortion pill:

http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm
http://www.standupgirl.com/site/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=218&Itemid=40

Photos of Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html

Also, please keep in mind that there is a ton of help available for you. If you go to a pregnancy care center near you, they can give you totally free, totally confidential assistance, including referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance, free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds, free maternity and baby supplies, counseling and emotional support. You can find one near you here:

http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

Your hormones are no doubt making you feel a little more anxious than usual right now, but I KNOW you can do the right thing! Please determine that you are going to protect your child no matter what, and be thankful that you have a man who cares both about you and his baby. Please keep us posted.

Answer 2

I'm twenty years old as well. Granted I am a guy, and I have really struggled with the idea of abortion or other alternatives... Well from where you're coming from it sounds like you're trying to be persuaded from doing the abortion even though it appears the decision you've discussed and made. If your reason lies in what's best for the child I think you have to know that letting the child actually havea chance at life is the best option. I mean, putting him into the system will ensure he's more likely to survive and be taken care of even if it is the government and it seems so many children. I could have been aborted, I likely would have been had it not been for the foster-care program, but I am here and I just finished my sophmore year of college at a good university so I thank the stars that my mother didn't make that choice...

Answer 3

I wouldnt feel right telling you which choice i would make in your position, as i doubt i have all the information,and as you'll be the only one who has to live through and answer to the consequences of whichever path you choose.. There are many sources online i was able to find however, one of note being http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm I dont know if i really recommend the video which is the highlight of the page, as it graphically depicts what occurs to a fetus during an abortion (i only watched part of it at this point.. the first 2 and a half clips, and it's all educational at that point.. no surgical procedures etc..) but the page also has links to abortion issues, matters of faith, and from what i can tell, numbers to a hotline you can contact for women in your position..
the second site seems a little gentler, but also helpful...
I hope you are able to make the best choice with the information you have, and i'm sure it will not be an easy one for you either way.. good luck :)

Answer 4

I am so sorry for your situation, and I am even more concerned about the fact that you feel you need to seek advice about such a MONUMENTAL decision with people you do not even know. You are in my prayers. That being said, your post made it sound like you only have two options: keep the baby or abortion. But, you do have a third, adoption. I hope that there are some sources you can contact to discuss your options with people who can help you rather than you having to just read words on a computer screen. You did not say how far along you are, but I hope that there are some supportive people in your life that you can discuss all of your options with. I don't want to be preachy, but there are many people in the world who would love a baby, so I hope that you will at least add adoption to your list of options.

Answer 5

Dear scared,
I have faced this fear. I went through with having my baby and am glad I had her. It is not easy but I think any way you decide has it's consequences. Ask yourself which decision can you live with in peace with yourself. There are more that 2 options, abortion or keeping, there is also adoption. If your not able to handle another baby right now with adoption you at least gave this kid a chance to live a good life. I know of several good families willing to give a child a good home. Reply to [e-mail] if you want a shoulder to cry on or an ear for listening. What ever you decide, no judgement here, just love.

Answer 6

I honestly think it is your choice, but I don't think talking to strangers on a computer is the best way to go about getting answers. There are difficulties with any road you take.
Abortion is an option, you will get a lot of static on here for it, but it is your choice and the right thing to do if you feel there is no other way.
Adoption could have it's issues since you do have another child. That child could wonder about its sibling later in life and could cause friction between you and that child or with the other.
Having the child is going to have major issues since you feel you are unable to care for the child. You will always see that child as a burden on some levels and that could develop into mental problems for the child and you.
Any way you go you have got yourself in a pretty bad jam and it is you and the father's responsiblity to weight the options and look at all parties involved, including your other child's.
All I can suggest is that you talk it over with those you trust and love and for goodness sake use protection next time! This day in age there is no excuse for an accidental pregnancy! There are way to many options to prevent it.

Answer 7

have u test yourself? if it's going what you think of, dont give up! u have the reason why to do or not to do the abortion. think about everything; your life, yourself, now and then. u are lucky has a bf that understand what you want. just think about what will happen and how's ur life before and after the baby birth, and how it is going to be if there's no baby. evaluate all aspect in your life, discuss it with your bf, what the advantages and disadvantages, and you will find the answer that best for you :)
hope u can get the right decision.

Answer 8

It is very understandable to be upset and scared over this. But if you know that another baby wouldn't be in the cards right now for you then get a abortion...People will tell you that it is wrong but it is your body so you should do what you think is best. I am for abortions and every woman does have the right to choose. I would say it will be something you will blame yourself for and always think about it but if you can't take on another baby then you have to do what you have to do.

Good luck

Answer 9

Don't be so scared. Is your mother by your side? If so do ask for advise. Yes you are right, taking the life out of unborn "baby", yes it is a very difficult decision. If I were in your position, which i am not-therefore difficult to judge, I would keep the child, things that seem like mountains to you now, will make you laugh in a a few years when you discover that they only are just simulation in your state of mind at the T time. So I vote for keeping it. Good Luck

Answer 10

Since you sound like you really don't want an abortion, and your bf doesn't want you to have one, why have one? If you're sure you don't want the child now, go ahead and have the child, but give it up for adoption. That would be much better than abortion, and it's a more unselfish thing to do. I wish I had done that, but I went ahead and was selfish and was only thinking of myself. Best wishes for your decision.