We were best friends, like sisters, we did everything together for the last 10 years. We graduated high school and like most girls started to party. That is when things changed I went on and started working and she never seemed to move on from the party. We started talking less and less. Last June we got in a huge fight over something so stupid that its not even worth mentioning. I have only seen her once since then and it was for her mothers funeral. She calls every once in a while but it is soooo awkward!! She is still the same party girl and I still work 60-70 hours a week. I drive by her house everyday and I miss our friendship but we have nothing in common any more. I have tried to make other friendship as significant but I can't. Do I try to make this work and stick with my memories??
2006-07-02 18:21:48 · 32 answers · asked by Wondering 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Correction: Do I try to make this work OR stick with my memories??
2006-07-02 18:24:24 · update #1
If you miss the friendship, it's worth a try. It might not work, but you'll never know if you don't try. Maybe you can find some new things in common if you get to know each other again.
2006-07-02 18:25:34 · answer #1 · answered by dogma4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the saying applies here, "friends come and go, and family lasts forever". While you were younger you had more in common but after growing up you change and you no longer have anything in common. You need to accept it isnt going to happen with this friend as you no longer click together. When your young things tend to seem more than what they really are, your older now and you more than likely wont find a friendship where you feel the same. The reason you are unable to find a good friendship with someone new is because your dwelling on the previous and looking for someone with the same attributes. Your worrying about the past which is only going to hold you back. Stick with your memories and be happy for the friendship you once had with this person and allow yourself to meet someone different and new, a good friend is hard to find, some people never find the friendship you once had.
2006-07-02 18:40:44 · answer #2 · answered by jake s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely try and make it work. If she's calling you still it sounds like she's in the same boat as you - wanting the friendship back but feeling awkward.
You could call and say how you feel, or send flowers with a note or knock on her door with a bottle of wine.... After ten years friendship a row should be nothing significant. Every day is a new day, so put it behind you and make the move.
2006-07-02 18:29:45 · answer #3 · answered by Empea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never have too many friends, but this girl isn't best friend material...not for you, at least. Her lifestyle would be corrosive if you were with her on a daily basis. At best, you'd be back to fighting all the time over stupid stuff, and at worst, you would have to choose between everything you've worked so hard for and living in her party-girl world. If you really miss her, call her up and meet her for a drink or something once a month or so, but don't risk everything for a potentially destructive relationship.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
2006-07-02 18:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by Crys H. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well keep the friendship together, you guys are like sisters, sisters are different just know that she is there for you, and be the same for her... when ever you need cheering up go to her she seems like the kind who could even if all she will do is take you to a party. Invited her over and hang out you guys will find something in common
2006-07-02 18:37:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would not hurt to make amends with her, but your friendship will not be the same. If you don't expect it to be, then you will not be disappointed. She is not in the same lifestyle that you are, and you may find that you don't have anything in common anymore to talk about.
Still, it is best not to burn any bridges. She may need you some time in the future, and it would be good if you were there for her to help her get her life together. You can be her "strong, independent, sensible" friend in the midst of all of her party buddies. You may be the one that she turns to in times of confusion.
2006-07-02 18:33:02 · answer #6 · answered by Oblivia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, I understand completely what you mean, and what you miss!
The truth is, and sometimes it sounds trite--but some folks are in our lives for a Season, and some are in our lives for a Reason.
We grow and move on. Your friend was important during the 10 years, now it may be time to remember and cherish what you had, what you learned together, and to press on to your adult life keeping the best of the time in your heart. Forget and forgive the silly argument...take a look at this website, and it may help you put things in perspective!
www.mayyoubeblessedmovie.com/
Have a wonderful life as you go out and make a wonderful difference in the lives of your new friends, always remembering the safe and good times you had in your youth!
May God Bless you.
2006-07-02 18:32:28 · answer #7 · answered by susieque 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice, you try to make it work, sometimes opposites attract. You have to have friends to have memories, so if you still want to have memories you have to try to work it out. Start out a little at a time. Maybe a day out to lunch or for her to come over for dinner. She may still party and you may work, but maybe you can help her realize that she needs to stop partying and get her life going. Maybe if you talk to her about your life and how when you work you make money, and if she gets a job she can still party on weekends. You can't give up on something. Cause if you do still care and love for her like a sister, you can't let her go.
2006-07-02 18:29:52 · answer #8 · answered by afgirl334 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick with the memories.
I had a best friend, VERY similar situation - just less time. I had a child, she never called or showed up.
There is nothing you can do to make her change. The question then is, do you want to change?
In all seriousness, you already have. Is what you are doing with your life so unimportant that you should give it up for just one person? In my opinion, no. Time changes things and people. There is no real wrong here, just change.
It will get better over time.
2006-07-02 18:28:35 · answer #9 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just did. If you no longer have anything in common is it worth the effort? 10 years is a long time, but people change as well as time. I went through this with one of my good friends. She partied all the time. I got maried, she got pregnant and we went our seperate ways. I miss the "OLD" times, but it would "NEVER" be the same again. It is up to you. If you think it would do you good than go for it- If is not then don't.
2006-07-02 18:28:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋