i don't need kind words, cause it won't help me. i just want to hear the honest answer even if it is brutal. how many women will date a guy in a wheelchair, not good looking at all, but not deform or anything, financially secure, with a pretty nice house, and a nice person?
please think before you answer, and be brutally honest please. cause when i ask this question on some other forum , i got a bunch of people saying things like the most important thing is the person. but when i try to post on personal ad or try to meet people, i found out it's not true. so please give me honest opionion, thanks.
2006-07-02 18:03:55 · 20 answers · asked by rt 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
first, i want to thank everyone that had responded, especially the honest ones. i want to add that is not that i don't meet people, nor i never had a gf. is just i meet a lot of girl, who become good friend with me, but nothing more. in this year, i had 3 girl that told me if only things is different, then things will be perfect, two said it in their tears. they are being really honest to me cause they know i won't be hurt by the brutal truth. is not i dont have confidence, is just i keep meeting many girl that want to be my best friend, but not that way. thanks again.
2006-07-02 19:19:46 · update #1
Welllllll......No! And I say that because, I can't image myself being with a person in a wheel chair. It would have to take alot, meaning he would have to be AWESOME!! Not so much material things or sexually, but just have a wonderful personality and make me forget everyone else in the room!! But when I am with a person and I really like/love them I don't care what anybody thinks!!
Be Blessed!!
2006-07-02 18:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by AAP0305 5 · 9⤊ 3⤋
Look at it like this if you met the person and they were in good condition physically and then he gets into an accident that causes him to loose the use of his legs would you leave him then. Give then a chance you could be missing out on a good thing. So many times women say Why can't I meet a good man and when they do they don't want him. So what he may not be the most gorgeous man or he may be in a wheelchair or something else. If he is good to you and not disrespectful. I say go for it. You may need him more than you may think that he needs you.
2006-07-02 18:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by princess4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My honest answer is the following: the way I see it is me as a human beign have developed my taste for things in general like men for instance through my senses. Things have to fall in place at the right time and with the right person and for my right reasons. I've developed my taste sense by looking, smelling, touching, feeling and tasting. So if one of those is missing like for example chemistry, well no matter how much well established the person is it's not worth it. We only live once and me I need to live life to the best and to the fullest. You know unfortunately you have a big disavantage if I'm right you're on a wheelchair so that righthere it's a very big thing against you as sex is a very important part of a relationship. Anyways, good luck and hey if you have money perhaps you should spend it wisely and be happy take care of yourself.
2006-07-02 18:14:50 · answer #3 · answered by claudia91701 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, here's the real deal, guy. That stuff you see as "disadvantages" DOES NOT MATTER. You aren't getting any dates because you're not the kind of guy that women want to date....YET. I will do my best to help you, but read with an open mind.
1) LEARN TO SELL YOURSELF - Everyone has value, you included. You just need to identify what it is about you that women will value, and play to that. In your post you are selling your NEGATIVES!!! Would you buy a medicine that advertised all the negative side effects in huge print, then listed the benefits in tiny print at the bottom of the ad? That's not to say you need to hide the "negatives." In fact, be very open about them. But DO NOT be insecure about them. OWN THEM - they are part of you. Give women a chance to see and fall in love with the best parts of you, and they will love ALL of you.
2) DITCH THE NICE GUY PERSONA - That's not to say don't be nice. Being nice is okay...being the "nice guy" is not. The Nice Guy tries to bribe women into liking him with politeness and women see right through it. If you're always trying to predict/ask what she wants and do it, you're not being your own person, and you're basically an empty suit. Why would she want to be around a guy like that? Not to mention it's manipulative and creepy. Form a strong sense of self and start doing things because they're the RIGHT thing to do or because YOU want to do them. And if they happen to be nice, great. If not, life is tough. Once you are your OWN person, you bring something to the table, and women will respect that. Remember, nice guy = wuss = creep.
3) LEARN WHAT ATTRACTS WOMEN - This is probably the most important of the three, but requires you to do your homework. Regardless of what all the sour grapes guys out there tell you, women ARE attracted to personality ABOVE ALL ELSE. You just have to figure out WHAT personalities they are attracted to. And that requires research. Here are some good places to start...
a) Movies - what movie characters do women fall in love with, and what makes them so attractive?
b) Friends - who do you know that is good at attracting women? Observe them and see how they do it.
c) Cosmo (Magazine) - this is what they call "Open-Source Intelligence" in the Intel community. Basically you get to read the other side's letters and strategy manuals. Why wouldn't you?
d) Programs - there are some guys online who have ebooks, DVD's, and CD's that teach you how to attract women. Look around and you will find them. Some are good, some are not - do the common sense check before you pay any money. Just remember - what actually WORKS may be counter-intuitive at first.
Hope this helps, and best of luck to ya, bud.
2006-07-02 18:39:02 · answer #4 · answered by Zarathustra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would take time to get to know anyone, whether they are in a wheelchair or not. That really does not matter to me. I do know that personal ads don't seem to work well. I posted one the other day on Yahoo and so far, nothing...all I wanted was a friend.
I shall challenge your question with yet another one.
Are there any men out there prepared to get to know someone first before jumping into a sexual relationship?
2006-07-02 18:09:17 · answer #5 · answered by wine_of_circe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I personally wouldnt have a problem dating a guy in a wheelchair..but if ur an unattractive guy in a wheelchair, then maybe i wouldnt give u the time of day. However, you have to remember that all girls have different tastes. I've dated guys that all my friends thought were ugly. soo yea, i'm sure there has got to be SOMEBODY that would find you attractive. If you have a good personality..if ur smart, kind, and funny..that would help too.
2006-07-02 20:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by scrazygirl25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, the wheelchair may put me off at first, but I would be friends with you. I am the kind of person who is friends first, and then considers dating her friends. Hopefully someone else out there like me? Good luck
Maybe try (not lying,) leaving the part about the wheelchair out at first, and talking about interests (tv shows, movies, music, books, etc), and then as you get to know each other work in the part about you being in a wheelchair. It might be harder for the girl to judge you if she already likes you.
2006-07-02 18:09:51 · answer #7 · answered by rlms_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I'll be really honest.
If you were a really, genuinely nice person, then I would. But you would have to be pretty darn nice! Not to be superficial, but looks do matter some. They're not all that counts, but on personal online ads, looks are a good 75% of what people judge you on. Good luck to you! I'm sure you'll find the perfect someone!
2006-07-02 18:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im straight for you and ill tell you like it is. I wouldnt date you for the simple fact that you are in a wheel chair. Because i would be lieing to myself and to you if i did date you.I would try and tell you that i love you no matter what buuuuuuuut yea a lie. Also because you said your not good looking which means you have low self esteem. Some times to get a girl it matters how you carry your self so get some self esteem fix your self up and the get a little humor into it and there wil be a a few females awaiting for you. but thats just my opinion srry if there was anything offensive i said but the truth hurts
2006-07-02 18:13:28 · answer #9 · answered by secretrainbow89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this too, but it should not matter weather you are in a wheel chair or not.. its not looks or anything that makes a person who they are... its there personality... and how they treat a person.. maybe some or most woman don't want the responsibility of someone being in a wheel chair... but that's there fault...all i can say is keep on trying... can you get out? if so go to a park or some place to try and meet someone.. and don't give up.. there is someone out there for you... good luck...
2006-07-02 18:15:14 · answer #10 · answered by tkeetot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By traditional standards i am an ugly person
i have a mole on my chin
im fat
and am self concience
but i get wemon cause i gots the self confidence
its not about how you look
its embedding yourself in thier brian as a poised(which has nothing to do with looks), intellegent, cool confident person
or at least thats how the girls in maryland are
2006-07-02 18:09:12 · answer #11 · answered by Thewhatnow? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋