i was dating this guy for a while, he cheated on and lied to me, and when i confronted him he denied it and said he never wanted to talk to me again. now hes telling every one im a liar and all this other stuff.
sometimes those you deserve love the least need it the most. i want to tell him that despite his flaws i still care about him and will always love him. but at the same time my freinds tell me that i have no self respect by putting up with his bs and still wanting to be his friend and caring about him.
i fail to believe that deep inside there isnt a human being. or is he just all lies and nothing but an asshole?
i know that he is no good for me and i deserve better. but something inside me still wants to believe in him and "us". (yeah i know its pathetic)
is beleiving in the goodness of ppl and optimism wrong? when should you start looking out for yourself while loving others?
2006-07-02 17:01:11 · 6 answers · asked by farry r 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving this person as a friend forever. That would be lovely, and yes, believing in his goodness is an okay thing.
HOWEVER, young lady, that in no way means this man is good for you. He has a responsibility to you if he wishes to be your future husband, and after all, isn't what all this is about? Finding a mate?
If you really want to know what love is, read 1 Corinthians 13, where it starts "Love is kind, love is patient...." and if this man does not fit that bill, look elsewhere for your husband. God would never EVER put His child with someone that does not know how to love. Got it?
Do a bit of research in the New Testament on what makes a good husband and a good father, and seek those qualities in a future mate. Dont' go for less than what God has to offer you, the perfect husband for you!
2006-07-02 17:04:30 · answer #1 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound to me like he needs your love or forgiveness. The fact that the guy would treat you that way shows that he has a complete and utter lack of respect for you. He doesn't need you, he's just using you.
Love and selflessness are not based on fear or dependency. If there is any element of that in what you're feeling, then it's not true love.
Forgiveness is less about the person you forgive than about yourself. Forgiveness is saying to yourself, that you will let it go, and not carry any anger or bitterness any more. You can't truly forgive until you acknowledge that you are angry and hurt about the situation. That doesn't make you unloving, that just makes you human.
Selflessness and forgiveness does not require that you just have to sit back and take it. You need to look out for yourself first. When you see yourself as someone valuable, worthy of love and respect, then others will also see you that way. Then you will also have a better understanding of what you have to offer another, and you will be able to offer it out of love and selflessness.
2006-07-09 14:24:40 · answer #2 · answered by gafpromise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is one attribute of our faith. Thus our obedience to God and following what He wants expresses our love to God.
So as Human being, when we love another human being we tend to furnish the loved ones with such type of ultimate love. But this ultimate love in only for God.
For Human being, it is peer to peer relationship and equality is its attribute..the more you give the more you should expect to get. This is how good lovers behave as each gives his/her very best to implicitly get the very best of his/her beloved ones.
Now, Are you sure that he cheated on you? Can you prove that at least to yourself or is it only your feelings that made you feel that.
Answering the above honestly will step you to another decision making.
Cheating on you means that he is not faithful to you, so he is not giving you his best so he is not expecting your very best as a lover.
So If you just want to be following him and not a partner to him, then you are suffering from low-esteem.
If you believe that you can forgive him (Depending on the area of cheating), you can forgive him and yet be careful so that he proves to you that he deserved your forgiveness.
If you contineuo to just forgive, then you really need to learn more about how to break up this relationship
2006-07-02 17:25:37 · answer #3 · answered by egyptian_youth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each person has their own time limit to grieve over a love lost. You feel 'loss' bottom line!
Keep your chin up and time will render the experience useful in the future.
2006-07-02 17:18:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand; been there.
I think we can love people from afar. I have had relationships with men who mistreated me. And I cared for them and wanted the best for them, too. But I realized it was to my own detriment.
I understand still loving them but you have to love yourself, too, and remember that you come first. You have to love yourself first and then love him.
And what I found was that the best way to love me and love him was for me to separate myself from him and protect myself and then pray for him every day.
It has worked for me and everyone is much happier, especially me.
Remember, if you don't care of you, no one else will!
2006-07-02 17:08:26 · answer #5 · answered by shoppingontherun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand your ground. Trust in God, not man. He always delivers.
2006-07-02 17:06:35 · answer #6 · answered by n9wff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋