help, strict dad problem!!?

Question

My dad does not like my friends becasue they dress revealing. But to me they are'nt wearing clothes that i would consider unapropriate. They wear things like shorts, mini skirts, tanks, spegetti straps, sometimes low neck shirts. Just the regular clothes that every american girl wears. I dont see what the big deal is because i've seen girls that have worn much more revealing clothes. My dad is muslim and he says that they need to dress modest or i can't hang out with them. My friends are not muslim so i dont see why they should change the way they dress. i will end up having no friends if i tell them how they should dress if they want to be my friend. My dad says that if i go out with them other muslim people will look down on me and think i must be an evil slut and nobody will want me. he scream things like if your wear that what will be left for your husband! i need some advice on what to says to him.

Answer 1

I don't know. From what I hear, a muslim would not let his daughter dress this way. As a Christian, I assure you, my 3 daughters didn't.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

Hey precious. I am 100% Bona-fide Christian, and I have to agree with your dad. Now you know something is up when a Muslim and a Christian can agree.

The clothes worn by today's girls are too revealing. You find yourself being a distraction. People ought to get to know you for what's inside, not by what they see hanging out. If you can appreciate modesty, show some respect for yourself. If these were true friends, you should be able to tell them that they need to tone it down a bit. They should be able to respect that.

You'll soon reach an age where you can make some choices of your own, until then, obey your father. Honour him. He is truly looking out for your best interest.

That is neither Muslim or Christian. It's a father's love for his daughter.

Answer 3

Trust me, I got the same problem: my dad won't let me wear revealing skirts. Just Kidding. Sounds like he is pretty set in his ways and won't change his mind for nothing. I'm guessing he assumes that he is always right and what he wants must be done. What I would do is right an essay and tell him how you feel, elaborate and give good point and anecdotes. That way you can put all your ideas on paper and not forget anything like you would if you were to comfront him. Stick to your guns and don't let up. Good luck. Most importantly, never forget where you came from, try to change what you thing is wrong but always be greatful and appreacitive of your roots.

Answer 4

I had a similar problem with my parents when i was young. I shaved my head and my dad thought that people would think that I was a part of the KKK...even though I'm clearly CHINESE. lol The way I thought of it was, it's my life and that's how I'll present myself to the world. If my dad doesn't like it, too bad.

Afraid that you'll get kicked out of the house? I highly doubt your dad will since he sounds an awful lot like mine but he never had the heart to. You'll have many arguments with your dad if you take my route, but in the end, it'll be worth it. That was when I was 15, I'm 23 now, and my dad and I are close since he's got a better understanding of how this side of the world works now. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

I'm not of the muslim faith but i do believe young girls today dress entirely to suggestive. There are plenty of beautiful trendy inexpensive clothing options out there. Modesty should be cherished. Dont think that because all your freinds dress a certain way you have to follow suit. As far as your Dad saying you cant hang out with girls he believes dress inappropriatly, he's your dad, he'll worry for you and want the best for you. It's his way of trying to raise a wonderful young women

Answer 6

I'd talk to your spiritual leader. You certainly are not alone. You are not the only Muslim with friends outside your beliefs. Reassure your parents that you have not intention of dressing like your friends or changing your beliefs. Good Luck

Answer 7

His mind is made up. Put up with it as best you can until you can move out on your own. Some people have some strange strict beliefs. What works for him, doesn't work for everyone. I'd explain this to my friends. They can each, easily hang onto a large shirt to put on while around him which they can take off, fold up and put in their purse or car when you get away from him.

Answer 8

if she loves u same as u love her, she will fight for your relationship no matter what the situation is. and never lose hope. If her dad didn't like you. Let the time tells if both of you are destined to each other. prove to her dad that you are the right guy for his daughter. make some good move!.

Answer 9

Just talk to him, tell him you cant control your friends ask him to hear you out and just explain that it isnt your fault they wear those clothes tell him other girls wear more revealing things and that is doesnt matter how you dress...

Answer 10

Oh honey

Your Dad is just trying to help you out based on all that he knows.

People have different beliefs. You father's is what it is and it is unlikely that you will change it anytime soon.

What I recommend you to do is as folows:

1. Respect your father's beliefs. You don;t have to agree with them,. you just have to respect that is what he believes. It is not easy but it helps if you remember that it is something you are doing for HIM, to give him love.

Take out a piece of paper and write down everything you can think of about your father than you respect and love, everythiing about his viewpoint and way of life that you appreciate, value and are thankful for. .


2. I am sure your friends can respect your father's viewpoint as well... try to explain it to them. Perhaps there is much to be learned from him about this and many other things. If you are unable to explain his viewpoint to your friends it could be that they are not willing to understand him and respect him or it could also be that you are not explaining it very well.

I think you will be able to tell which one it is. Friends who snub you off or are nasty to you about your father's viewpoint - if you can't explain it to them them maybe they are not really friends.

The other thing is that the girls may not themslves know that it is very stimulating to guys to see girls dressed in this way. Ask a girl who has been raped or molested, not all men have control of themselves and even though it is not your fault, men who do these things are often ones who are stimulated by a woman's dress, especially a young women. I am positive that your father is not doing it to suppress you but to protect you. Even though it can seem like he is suppressiing your desire to live. I am not saying it is right, I am just trying to explain it (as best I can) so you can understand, there is a LOT more to this than what you are wearing today or yesterday!

Girls often don;t realize it because there is so much popularity in revealing clothes. I am not saying it it wrong, I am just giving you information. It is accepted in our society but not in every society and this way of dressing has only been popular since the 1950s. Before that it was unheard of anywhere in the world for a young girl to dress in a revealing manner. I just watched the MTV all day today and beleive me it is very very different than it was 20 years ago. And MUCH different than it was when your father was young. My father is a very "open" modern man and he would flip out if I dressed like that! He also got very upset when I was your age if any boy looked at me and he was like I say, very "open" and "modern" so part of it is that our Dads want to make sure we are safe and that no man takes advantage of us.

Its not something we have to have an opinion about but we can at least understand it.

Besides there are age-old customs about it that you may not be aware of or understand. He may not be able to explain it veyr well and he may be busy too.

Just remember - because you listen to someone and understand what they are saying doesn;t mean that you have to agree with everything about it.

I know if you were MY friend and you told me how your Dad felt I would respect it. I am not sure I would agree with everything but at least I would listen/. Maybe I would learn something. You know.

If you can find a way to help your father teach you the things he feels are important for you to know, this will help a great deal.

I am sure your friends can understand that. If you are Muslim there are a great many thigns that poeple in the chirstian world do not understand about your religion, your customs. My advise to you is for you to understand them and to make sure you understand the other fellows as well so you can help to bring harmony where ever you go.

It is not easy being a teenager, a beautiful girl, having a different set of customs and religious beliefs that you grew up with

But if we all take the time to listen to each other and take the time to love, it does help a great deal.

Gosh, I hope this helps a bit.

Love and Joy to you.