and what to do if it was the reverse way around (you were the teenager)?
2006-07-02 15:46:09 · 10 answers · asked by Lorrane 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Well, I'm a Muslim teenager and my parents are very strict (they won't even let me talk to a guy), but I've had my boyfriend for a while. The thing is the parents have to trust their kid. My boyfriend knows where I stand with my faith and I'm still a virgin and I intend on being one until marriage. I wish my parents would understand so I wouldn't have to date secretly, but they think all guys are bad. The truth is, they aren't and we really love each other, but my parents will never understand that and it hurts cause I always feel like I"m lying to them. But the truth is they won't give him the time of day and it's ridiculous. A Muslim teenager can date and still be Muslim.
2006-07-02 15:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by beth a 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sorry, I am not Muslim, but I am a Baha'i and am aquainted with many. Do you live in the US?
This is really a judgement you have to make on your own, but I can tell you if you live in the US it is more difficult to impose certain restrictions that do not fall within the cultural norms of their friends (not to say that you still shouldn't try.)
I would open up a line of communication with your child. Talk to them honestly about why you feel the way you do about them dating and be willing to listen to what they have to say as well. They may have another viewpoint you haven't considered before. Perhaps a compromise can be worked out between you, such as being able to "date" but with some restrictions and promises of no sexual activity (if that's what worries you). Girls are especially prone to being taken advantage of, and so the best thing to do is arm them with information they can use when they are not under your supervision.
Best wishes.
2006-07-02 15:53:01 · answer #2 · answered by K M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the parent and the religion of the guy you are dating. If they are a strict Muslim parents, it is not a good thing. They will most liklely beat you and then send you back to their country of origin to stay with relatives. This will be followed by punishments, strict observance, and several trips to Mecca. I'm white, and this happened to my pakistani girlfriend in college! I haven't heard from her since! I would do my best to hide it if I was the said teenager! Good Luck and be careful!
2006-07-02 15:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what I can tell you is that if I were in this situation, this is what I would love my parents to do for me.
1. sit down with me and openly be able to discuss the issue of having a bf/gf and WHY would I need to have one in the first place
2. explain the reason why we don't do it in Islam - the major disadvantages of heartbreak, loss of modesty and honor/respect, loss of speciality of a pure marriage
3. tell the child that if they are interested in dating and getting to know someone of the opposite gender, marriage is the best solution. If they're not ready for it, then explain that they probably aren't ready for a real, committed, long-lasting relationship. And reeeally, what's the point of being with someone if you don't mean it and it won't last?
Well, my mom did sit me down the first time I asked her about boyfriends and girlfriends, and she explained a lot of this to me. It really helped me understand my worth not just as a Muslim girl, but just as a girl in general. It's very important that a teen can turn to their parents (DAD and MOM!) for these things. And that the parents don't overreact, but instead talk it out and HELP the children. :)
2006-07-02 15:55:41 · answer #4 · answered by Iram 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Salaam. There is no compulsion in religion, so the Teenager must decide for herself/himself to do whats right..But, as my momma used to say to me when growing up, "Some people have to learn the hard way". After that teenager gets hurt, used, abused, chewed up, and spit out non-believers --they'll learn their lesson. And they better practice safe-sex unless they get a Nasty STD that is commom in 80% of Americans today..
2006-07-03 11:05:16 · answer #5 · answered by Plus-Sized &Proud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was the parent id have to decied whats more important..having my daughter follow my rules/religion or risk the more than likely probablitly of causeing a 'gap' in your relationship, distance.
2006-07-02 15:53:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be pissed if my kids were dating if I was a Muslim. If I was the teenager then it depends, was I religious? if I was I would not be dating, if I was godless then i wouldnt care
2006-07-08 17:57:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...depends on what country you're in. Although country has nothing to do with religion it can make a difference in how the daughter feels about it. If she's a teen...I say she's old enough to make her own decisions about religion.
2006-07-02 15:50:35 · answer #8 · answered by zenkitty27 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my moms and dads at the instantaneous are not strickt in any respect and im courting a desirable guy for 10 months, yet i nevertheless keep it a secret, and im 19... i purely favor to guard my courting. what u have is so fantastic, why would you sacrifice it?? they'd damage each little thing! keep it secret and stay your existence. u have the right to do inspite of u favor. inspite of in the experience that they locate out, dont enable them damage it good success my chum!
2016-11-30 04:31:16 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would leave your teenager to decide what religion that he/she want to be and let them decide who they want to be with.
2006-07-02 15:50:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋