Why do negative past experiences remain so vividly in my memory?

Question

I've had some bad things happen to me, and the memories are as fresh as if they happened yesterday. Why is that?

Answer 1

Memories can be triggered by the emotions we tie to them, such as a song, fragrance or color. The emotional aspect of our memories can keep things alive and vivid, whether they are positive or negative. Another, is the inability to resolve the conflict you have had with these experiences, try to focus on the problem or memory, see what can be done to resolve some of the issues that have not been focused. Trying to move forward with the future is hard when you have not dealt with the past, if you can do seek counseling to help guide along. Once you can tie up the loose ends the best way possible, then it's best to leave the past in the past. We cannot change the things that happened to us, but we can change how we react about them in the future. Take Care!

Answer 2

Everyone experiences these feelings when they think of painful memories.

This is because it brings back all the emotions that we felt when it was happening to us.

If we have lost a person in death, we might cry when we think back to their funeral because it was such a traumatic experience. The emotions were so strong on that day, that they are still fresh in our memory.

I used to say "Time is a healer", but since my best friend passed away, I know it is not true. I will always feel the same way, and the memories and emotions will never fade.

The only way to cope is to view things differently.
Take some good away from it, if at all possible.
Ask yourself - what have I learned from this? What have I gained?

For me, I have learned that our time is precious.
I appreciate my friends and family so much more and I am grateful for everything that I have.

Take some time off.
Head to a park or the beach (or anywhere away from distractions and people) and do some thinking.
Don't stop until you are satified.

I hope this helps

Answer 3

It has both to do with the uniqueness of the events amongst all of your personal experiences and how much you have reinforced the memories by recalling them. Especially recalling them recently after the event. This develops new neural pathways associated with the memory of the event which keeps the memory from fading when some of the neurons die or lose their connection as you get older. There are probably other factors involved. Maybe another answerer can help me out.

Answer 4

There's undoubtedly some psychological reason for why that happens, but I don't know what it is. I think there are those of us who just like to carry that kind of baggage around to beat ourselves up with. I did the same thing for years. I'd obsess over old hurts and wallow pleasantly for hours in self pity. What helped me was to talk to someone about them, get them out in the open. When I did, they didn't seem nearly as overwhelming as I'd made them out to be, and they stopped pleagueing me. I didn't forget them by any means, they were just no longer a big deal.

PS Yes, I know it's not easy talk about things that have happened to you. There may even be some of them you find shameful. But I promiss, it you share all this junk with someone you trust, they'll not think it's anywhere nearly as bad as you've come to believe it is.

Answer 5

They are powerful experiences, meant to teach you, and also meant to make you make a change in your life. If life was always positive, no one would ever change, right? And everything in life is in continual change. If you can get beyond the hurt, you will find the negative experience from your past to actually be a strength to you now. Takes lots of talking out with a trusted friend, or therapist, if need be.

Answer 6

We have two types of memory -SHORT MEMO AND LONG MEMO. The short memory is what we forget easily, while information is the long memory, last long time!! Remember, at school, when the teacher explained something, which seemed so clear, and during the exam, you totally forgot!! It means that the information was in your short memory!! Easy to understand Easy to forget!! But tromatic events go in our Long memory!! Difficult to forget also!!!
"It is better to spend your time at funerals than at festivals"
"No, dear friends, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead."
"Do not let these things escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren."

Answer 7

You haven't accected the fact that bad things happen.You can spend the rest of your life remembering them or you can do something positive to ether reverse them or at least make the situation better.Try to remember anything that was great in the past and try to remember details.This will help you find alternate good thoughts.You will never forget but you can put it behind you!

Answer 8

If something has affected you deeply, it becomes a part of you. Depending on what happened to a person, certain triggers like weather, dates, seasons, places can bring pain or grief surging forth. Sometimes the feelings can be set aside, and other times it is best to face them. Never forget to be compassionate with yourself.

Answer 9

TRAUMA..... it is a word expressed in the exact definition you jsut gave. Awful things that have happened to you, will always stay with you. Although you might grieve or morn sometimes, just know that although it might never go away, but there are better ways to deal with trauma.

Answer 10

It's not that they will always stay with you. They will stay with you until you resolve your problem with them or use them as a driving force for something positive in your life. I didn't get along with my parents at all. And I'm not saying your normal kid angst. I go above and beyond to create a comfortable and encouraging environment for my son.