Do you ever feel like you really need to talk to someone but then can't actually do it?

Question

When people email me about stuff I wrote on here, I always want to answer them but can't manage to actually say anything at all, even just something like "got your email" or "thanks," so I end up just not answering at all.

And today I went to a website that the Yahoo! Customer Care people sent me cause they said they were worried by stuff I wrote on my 360 page, and there was a way to talk to someone online instead of calling their phone number, and I was going to do that but then when the person came online and said hi and asked what she could do for me I couldn't say anything, even "hi" or anything, and I didn't say anything and closed the chat window. And now I kind of want to try again but I'm afraid I'll just end up wasting their time again when they could be talking to someone they could actually help.

Answer 1

Hi Ellie,

You should definitely try that chat helpline again. It is a very positive step that you got as far as you did - well done.

You are not wasting their time - this is what they do. I'm sure they will have dealt with other uncertain people like yourself in the past and will be used to it. They'd want you to keep going back until you do feel able to communicate with them, however many tries it takes.

And don't feel bad about yourself - YOU are one of the people they can help! And they will be able to help you - please keep trying.

Answer 2

All the time Ellie. I cannot even reassure you that things will get better. I am 42 and still feel that way.

I have occasionally tried chat sites and like you I cannot bring myself to type anything even through the anonymity of the Internet.

But I am desperately concerned that you are resorting to cutting yourself.

You need to find someone that you can talk to.

I know that is not easy, but you really need to try. I know you do not like your school but is there a teacher that you do like.

Are there any relatives you are close to, preferably your parents but if not then an aunt or grandmother.

There is also childline on 0800 1111.

In view of your difficulty talking with people prepare first. Write down what you want to say and rehearse it before hand. Alternatively, if you can, record what you want to say. If when the time comes you find yourself unable to speak play the recording or give the person your notes.

Another possibility is to write an email to someone you trust. This did work with me. I was able to write out all my thoughts in an email message. That part was fairly easy. pressing the send button was hard but I eventually managed to press it.


Looking at your 360 page you are a lovely young girl and you have so much to enjoy ahead of you. Please try and ask for help.

Answer 3

Yes, it sometimes when I worry, it's like I hear that still small voice whisper,Trust me. This one may seem unreal,but let me tell you the story. I had just puchased a new computer. I was trying to learn a lot in a short amount of time. I had a lot of ideas as to what I might do with it. I was starting to think it might be a waste of money for me. One morning I was frustrated,completely frustrated. I ask God ,"Do you want me to learn how to use this thing? Show me. Make it plain." Nothing,but the dead silence. I thought this is probably the dumbest thing I've ever done. Finally I heard that still small voice. You might think it is like a thought that enters my mind. Anyway it entered my mind. "Are you going to use it for my glory?" The answer was ,"Sure, Lord, but You know my typing." I figured OK, I"m willing,but how are you ever going use me. That morning left for my exersice class and just as I got up there I saw this truck with the letters COMPUTER HELP and his telephone #. I still couldn't believe what I saw till after class I copied down the number and made a call. I did some reference checking. From a teacher I knew I found out the man I had called was a very reliable Christian I could invite into my home. I got all the help I needed and more at a reasonable price. Today I have moved, but get e-mails. I still need help, but have more sources. As to my promise, I'm still willing.

Answer 4

I'm no expert on this, but I have felt like this before - even now as a lad at the age of 24, and as a young professional. I think it's maybe that we are made to think / feel that we have to keep some things to ourselves, and that no one is interested, or that these things are just a 'burden' to other people. But I have to say IT IS NOT. This is not your fault, it's just that you may have wanted or even asked for something / help before, and been refused because so and so has no time for you, or supposedly 'too busy' - making you think it's bad or even wrong to ask or want talk to them.

Well, it is not, and though a certain person may not want to listen to you, there will always be someone else that will want to. This is what these people online (that you've mentioned) and people like myself that email you are here for - because we DO WANT TO HELP.

When people ask about you, it's more than likely that they ARE asking because they are genuinely concerned, and DO honestly want to help - whatever the problem is, and however 'small' the problem may be. First and foremost, you must remember that there is NO SHAME in asking for help, or even in taking it. And believe me, you are not wasting anyone's time - not mine, not anyone's. Ok? : )

And when you do call these people, TAKE YOUR TIME, there is no rush at all and more importantly, we all understand that it is hard to talk about your feelings, problems etc. - this doesn't make you any different from us. We are here for you however long it may take, and at whatever cost because your well-being and safety IS important to us. Also, you will find that by talking about your feelings, it can only get easier, the more you do so.

I hope this makes sense to you, and that this helps you. Please remember, we are here because we do care AND do want to help you when you are ready and in your own time.

Answer 5

Is it for the lack of what to say or afraid of what they will think? This is one of those been there, done that and have a t-shirt to go with it. How do you handle talking to friends or family? Here's the thing; you are just as valuable of a person as anyone else and can take part in contributing to a conversation. I thought you did an excellent job in forming the question so I know it not for lack of knowledge. Sometimes it helps to write down what exactly you are looking for and how you might ask it. Consider too the worst thing that can happen; nothing at all. Most fears will never come to pass and serve only to prevent you from taking a step to achieve greatness. Take your time and go for it.

Answer 6

Hi Ellie!

People who ANSWER this Yahoo site, do it because they want to help other people. The great thing about this Yahoo site, is; we cannot see each other. So there is no awkwardness or embarrassment when asking really personal questions. If you want to ask questions were NO ONE other than the person you are writing to will read them; write to ALL EXPERTS, look under Health, then go to Teen Health. Look for David (me). I answer a wide variety of questions there, many very personal, and most of the time time I can give a reasonable answer; to even the embarrassing questions.

Everyone has problems in life. At least we have a place where we can ask for help!

Answer 7

You have to learn to trust. I completely understand that it's hard to trust people from online. Sure, some jerk from offline might pretend to be caring and end up saying stuff that hurts you, but if you need to talk, it's a chance you should take, because there are people who will talk to you. People care about you. You may feel like nobody cares, but it's not true. There's always somebody that cares. I care, even though I don't really know you. I can relate, and I'm willing to help if you want it. I know it's hard to talk to somebody, but it will help in the long run.

Answer 8

I am glad you asked that question. Atleast i don't feel like you are completely ignoring me and playing games. I am sorry, i never thought that you werent responding just because you are shy.
What are you so shy about? You cannot see these people. They are not going to jump out of your computer and bite you. I know it is hard to talk about things like that. I went to a therapist that was $150 every time. I went nearly a dozen times before i would even talk. It costs my mom alot of money too. One say though, she wouldnt let me leave until i talked. Normally our sessions are an hour long. i was in there for 3 and a half hours. I finally talked though. My therapist was very caring and understanding. She did make me mad, and i walked out, but i felt SO much better when i calmed down.

That is the hardest part of all of this... is talking about it. When people ask me to talk about what i have been through, i get really really hot, and my face starts to feel really flushed out. Just remeber these people are hear to help you. I am here to help you. Whenever you are ready to talk, i will be here waiting. Take your time... try to relax. If we talk, we dont have to talk about that stuff right away. I would love to get to know the beautiful, smart, talented, loving, caring, young women that i know is inside of you. You remind me so much of myself, i think thats why the minute i came across you on here, my hear went out to you. Just remember that there are people out there that truely love and care about you. Like me.

Love you,
Kaylee

Answer 9

Try using the little faces on your 360 page , if you have one.

If you don't have one, then make one, it's free and doesn't involve other people interacting with you.

The faces allow you to show how you feel without words.

Failing that, just ask a question to the people who want to help you.

There are no laws that say you have to answer their questions, and you seem able to ask questions of your own.

Little steps young lady, little steps.

Answer 10

I often ask myself "if you don't say it, who else will?". I'm often shy in a lot of situations, and overtime I've become more and more open. Computers especially make communication easier. The thing is, is that we [internet users] can never be sure of who is on the other end. So don't worry about it. Just open up, be yourself, and find a way to talk to people. It will be okay, really.