Can anyone tell me what to do?

Question

I am really confused. I just got back into being religious. I started believing in god and want to change from my old way's. There's this dude, who I really care about. I broke up with him and think that it was for the best. I assume that it wouldn't have worked out anyway and that he didn't really care about me or love me anyway. Could that just be assumptions? I am good at assuming thing's. I am too emberrassed to say this, but I am still kind of a virgin or just am still one because my ex told me that bone wasen't broken. But he has a really big....you know big size penis and I wouldn't have been able to handle that. I am really confused, because even though we haven't been together, I still have feelings for him. But being a christian, I have to wait into after marriage and which I have to do. I just don't know rather or not to just move one. This is a sex, relationship and religion question. Please help me! I at one point even thought that he was just using me.

I actually wrote him a letter and left it in his mail box and didn't get a response or anything. I didn't hear from him, since the last time that I've seen him. So I'll just leave him alone and move on.

Who ever told me to leave him alone and ignore him that to me would be wrong. It'll be like giving up on him. But I will move on, because me breaking up with him and me not hearing from him is a sign. I really do believe in signs and there are signs everywhere.

I am 22 turning 23, for n e 1 who hasen't figured it out. And the dude I was seeing was 19. Does the age difference, even though there's only 3 years apart make a difference at all?

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel. I had a boyfriend too but I wanted to be with him while I wanted to be a Christian. Yes we had sex, but the conviction was always there and I was never comfortable about it but never said n e thing to him because I didn't want to mess things up between us because I was "in love". So he left to the Navy and I was left here by myself, depressed, like if I needed him to breathe. I wanted to be with him yet I knew, like you, that it wouldn't have worked out. He would always make little comments about christianity until I cut him off. We broke up and believed me, it REALLY hurt. There was so much confusion about if I had done the right thing. The holy spirit would tug my heart and made me realize that I did the right thing. There's two verses in the bible hopefully they help you the way they helped me. In Matthew 19:29 it's written that when you give up things to glorify Him, "you will recieve a hundred times as much in return..." I'm sure that the Holy Spirit is trying to tell you something and if you let this guy go, the Lord will give you someone so much more better, a guy that shares your same beliefs and that doesn't pressure you to anything because he fears the Lord. If you're not convinced yet, read 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, it basically says that you shall not be yolked with an unbeliever. I wish I could share my full testimony of what God has done in my life, relationship wise, but its really long. Just know that God is on your side and trust in him relationship wise (read Genesis 2:18). I hope I helped, God Bless You.

Answer 2

You do need to pray and see what God is telling you to do.

Usually it's best to make a clean break with your past if you are trying to change your life. And it sounds like this relationship is pretty sexual even if you haven't gone "all the way". You need to seek out men who love the Lord also. You seem to know Waaay too much about this mans private parts for a single person.... That doesn't mean you are a bad person it just means I suspect this guys goal was to get you in the sack one way or another. And never ever fall for the oral sex doesn't count argument-that's a crock of $%^*()*&%^&%, if that's what he wanted he was defineately using you and run(!), don't walk, away!

A good christian man loves you for who you are and is willing to spend time with you among other friends so that he does not endanger your virtue, or reputation. Sex should be reserved for marriage because it is not what the relationship is all about, it is an expression of married love. Toying around with it before then is a perscription for divorce.

check out this link:

http://www.cbn.com/family/datingsingles/ferwerda_apple.aspx

Answer 3

It's not about about having sex, it's about making love. How many young girls out there regret that they gave it away for nothing, once they have found out the difference between just that. Unfortunately, when you're too young, you haven't had the good sense, or the right response to your questions. It's a pity ,that you can't talk to someone closer to you. It's not advice you need, it's how to decide what you want your first time to be like, and with whom. The best thing I can say is, you decide ... don't let anyone push one way or the other.
Sexual instinct, is there to ensure the continuation of our species. Hunger ensures that we remember to eat, for the same purpose. So these are things that are good in essence, but harmful in excess. You must decide, where to set your limits. But I will tell you, if I had to chose between getting laid 100 times or making love once, I will chose Love without hesitation - Hands down (no pun intended). Anyway sex without love is not much different to masturbation, just a tad less lonely, but the same anti-climax!!!!

Answer 4

The walk of a christian is tough. First of all the bible says that we are to be equally yoked spiritually. Is your friend a christian? I am perhaps a bit older than you, and I can only tell you that if I knew the things I know now back when I was younger I could have saved myself a whole lot of unnecessary pain and heartache. The reason I ask if he is a christian is because guys who are not saved, even some who call themselves saved, are out basically for one thing. Sex. I can't tell you how many young, unwed mother's attend my church. They seem to get with these smooth talking guys who tell them everything they want to hear to get inside of their panties, and then at the first sign of trouble, usually pregnancy, they abandon them and their child and start all over again with someone new. If you think this guy is using you or trying to use you,there is a good chance he is. Let me share a little scripture with you from my sunday school lesson. By the way, I am a sunday school teacher for young adults at my church. Our lesson for today came from 1 Corinthians 7:2-15 with additional readings from 7 1-20, and 23-40 and is entitled Called to Relationships. It tells all about relationships. The verse I want to share with you comes from verse 2 which states: "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."

Your body is sacred. Don't let some guy who probably doesn't really care about you use you for sex and then throw you away like a piece of garbage. Do you want me to tell you what I did before finally meeting my wife? I prayed a prayer from the heart. It may be hard to believe but that is what I did. I had spent years trying to do things on my own without relying on God going from one meaningless relationship to the next before finally giving myself to him and asking him for the wisdom, knowledge and discipline in waiting for a wife. My advice to you is not to pray for a husband but to pray for the wisdom and knowledge so when the right comes along you can recognize him for what he is. I am sure you are a beautiful person and the guys are sure to come. For your happiness and well being it is going to be imperative that you have the knowledge and wisdom to make the right choices. The best advice I can give you is to first place your trust in God, then seek or select someone who loves the Lord. Men who truly love the Lord are compassionate and will be capable of giving you the love and respect you need. Stay strong. it is important that you stay true to your faith as well as yourself. Peace and God bless.

Answer 5

THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD IS TO WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE! Think about when you were a kid waiting to open that present on Christmas. you would shake it and poke it, but you had to wait what seemed like forever. But in the end it was worth the wait. Suspense always makes things more interesting--don't you think? Anyways the Bible says that you should wait, and I believe that is what you should do. Especially if you think this guy has been using you. I would tell you if he wants to have sex, then he is not worth the trouble. Stay far away from him, for Satan may be trying to tempt you. Keep going to church, pray daily, read your bible and try to find strong Christian friends who will hold you accountable in your faith and the way you live your life. good luck to you!

Answer 6

I think sometimes it best to let sleeping dogs lie. Usually when a person truly loves you you know it by the way that person acts towards you and how he related towards you. There must have been some reason for you to feel that it wouldn't work,that he was using you etc for there's usually some basis for a person to develop feelings of this nature. If you're serious about living a Christian life it will much easier to have a Christian boyfriend for then you can truly share yourself and your life for you'll be on the same page. Some non Christian men ill eventually resent the activities of the their girlfriend for it doesn't involve them. Follow your instincts-make a list of pros and cons and if the pros are shorter and questionable then let it rest.

Answer 7

Please, please do not be embarrassed to admit that you are still a virgin. Your virginity is a gift you have that you can never get back.
I am happy to read that you have found your way back to God. If this is something you really want in your life, and I pray you do, I would strongly suggest that you surround yourself with people of a like mind. Following His word is a much more fulfilling walk when you have fellowship with people who also know Him.
I suggest that you keep a special place in your heart for this 'dude' but make it clear that you need to be with someone that will support you with your decision to live a Christian life.
Jesus loves you. Accept Him into your heart and pray for guidance and wisdom. I hope this has helped. God bless.

Answer 8

Move on...dont have sex...think of all the risks that come with it, pregnancy, and std's. Having a child is for a lifetime, and more than likely the father will not be around, and although some std's are curable, there are plenty that aren't...HIV, AIDS...

Sex at your age isn't wise and feasible. Be smart, learn other ways to satisfy your sexual urges (ie masturbation) because 5-15 minutes worth of sex isn't worth having a child or an std when love is not involved....

Answer 9

Whatever you said I'll just say this. Don't have sex before marriage it ruins everything including life and you could hurt your children that way. Next you don't have to let him go completely. You just have to say that there is no sex in this relationship. If he won't listen then maybe you should say this, "This isn't working out. I can't have sex yet. It's not right. Let me know when you're done thinking about it." and walk away. Good Luck!

Answer 10

First, I would suggest that you ask him point blank if he still cares about you. If there is to be any hope of a relationship you must be able to be honest, without embarassment. No matter what he says, you have to go with your gut feeling. That is God speaking to you and guiding you in your life. Follow your own heart and do what is best for you.