How do I get my 5 year old to obey the first time?

Question

I have to say things at least 3 times to my 5 year-old daughter before she does what I ask of her... I am afraid that at some point she will get hurt cuz she may not have enough chances to hear me say things thrice... I could use some help, some method that worked for someone else... No mean comments, please.

Ok, I don't want to spank her, my dad beat the crap out of us, and I am afraid to raise my hand at my children... I have to find other creative solutions

Answer 1

its called the 1-2-3 method. ask her, when she doesnt do it say ONE. if still no responce sayTWO. if still no responce say THREE and on three spank the bottom ONE swat. then repeat the request. keep this up always. and real soon you wont have to count past one. i only had to swat one child one littl swat one time and ALL my kids "got it" after that . i only had to say O-N-E.
WHAT EVER YOU KEEP YOUR COOL. AND REMEMBER THEY REALLY DO GROW TOO FAST! :)

Answer 2

You need to sign up for a parenting course ASAP, if you haven't already. The reasons children/adults do not obey is because there are usually no consequences. Sit your daughter down and explain that you are re-structuring the rules and that, from now on, she must obey the 1st time or else she will get a 4 minute time-out in the corner (face to the wall). Then,
YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH, NO MATTER WHAT.
Your house may become zoo-like for a while, but you are correct : children have to obey their parents ! I am glad you are starting this process now. She will be glad, too, when she is grown. Good Luck.

Answer 3

I have the same problem with my 3 year old! I was hoping by 5 she might be more responsive. I have the best success when i can get her to look at my eyes. In a lot of situations where time is an issue, of course, I just have to shout, more than once it seems, but if I can say, "look at my eyes and Listen!" it seems to sink in, sometimes. If things get really out of hand with the listening, like she is running toward the street and doesn't stop when I call her, I will go through a period of seriously stopping her for mild discipline if she doesn't respond the first time. Just for a couple of days, and it seems to help until she forgets.

Kids are still developing their neural passageways and I think it really does take extra wake-up time for some of those commands to register, so patience is important, as well as doing whatever we can to keep them safe. I don't think it helps to make them feel bad about themselves but they need to learn it is important to hear us the first tiime!

Answer 4

I am a single mom of 4 kids, my daughter is 16 and I have 3 boys, 8,7, and 1. If you find the answer please let me know. I know what you mean about getting hurt, I guess it is all in the tone, to this day if I am asking something in general I honestly believe they have selected hearing, but if I sound stern, they pretty much listen, or if it is something that will benefit them, there is not a problem, I sometimes get selective hearing with them or "forget" to do something they want to do, they get the point.
When it came to things like running out in the street, I would give them a swift smack on the thigh, not enough to really hurt, but enough they did not want it again. and in my opinion, time s do outs not work, I tried them and my daughter actually liked them. so did my boys, they would just sing to themselves, it was not like a punishment.

Answer 5

If by the time a child is that age, and still has not learned to obey, something is way behind schedule. I suggest you practice some real tough love and start grounding or even taking privileges away. A 5 year old is old enough to understand things like that, I hope.

Answer 6

You have to let her know you are serious. She may not listen because you have told her no before and if she didnt listen they you let it go. She can learn that she doesnt listen at first then youll just let her do it. From now on... Tell her no.. and why the first time and stick to it, if she doesn't listen the very first time you say it calmly, then do NOT reapeat, just send her to her room and tell her why she is in for a time out.

Answer 7

My father allways just would give us this look of disappointment if we didn't do what he asked or if we misbehaved. It worked fairly well, sends a feeling of guilt into my gut just thinking about it. He was our primary care giver because my mom works a lot and goes away on business trips.

My mom would just grab us up and toss us in the corner if we didn't listen to her though, and I don't really remember disobeying her very often either.

Answer 8

Tell her flat out the consequences of her actions, while it may seem mean, it WORKS. If I catch my girls doing something that can harm them I tell them flat out(and have for several years now) that it can KILL them. HURT them very seriously, ect... I explain to them that if you're dead then you cannot DO ANYTHING. Never see your family again, ect... Like I said, it's harsh, but my girl know when I say that that it's serious and they don't do it again. Good luck.

Answer 9

explain to her that you are only going to tell her once.
tell her once and if she does not listen give her a time out..

It works with my 4 year old son

he also gets to the count of four to do something

Answer 10

At this age she is testing you to see how far she can go. You have to be persistant. If you are not, she will win. Then she will have the power over you. It's not going to be easy and it might drive you crazy for awhile. But stick to it. Your child is worth it.