Is spanking ok.?

Question

I still believe in spanking your children...I was as a kid and I don't go around beating people nor did it scar me for life....I appreciate the fact that my parents loved me and cared enough to teach me right from wrong.

Answer 1

Yeah this "TIME OUT" crap is just that - CRAP! The Bible says "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) Hence the saying "Spare the rod spoil the child." That might explain why there are A LOT of little spoiled brats running around. I think CHILD ABUSE is wrong, but getting a spanking as punishment is good for a child. I used to get them and I think I turned out OK - my parents do too!

Answer 2

Check with your local children's services division and find out what the law is for spanking children. In the state of Oregon alternative parenting methods are strongly recommended. If you choose to spank you must use your opened hand, on the child's bottom, with their clothing covering their bottom. The spanking should never leave any kind of bruising or injury. Personally, I believe that you should live by example to teach your children right from wrong. Talk to your children when they make mistakes and use natural consequences for the child to learn from. Also, make the discipline fit the their wrong doing. An example is if the child skips their chore give them extra chores. Most importantly respect the child as you want to be respected. The point of parenting is to produce a functional, loving adult into society. Remember they are the ones who will take care of you one day! A good parenting book is Jim Fayes "Love & Logic". Call your community college or local YMCA, they usually teach parenting classes at low cost.

Answer 3

Personally speaking I think spanking is WRONG, however a lite slap on the back of the hand or on the bottom is only just acceptable. when time outs and other punishments you have in place dont work.
However you discipline your child always explain to the child why they are being punished and what they can do to aviod being punished for the same thing again.

saying all that i agree with the last campaign message from the NSPCC (www.nspcc.org.uk) "Hit means lost it"
sadly as we all know some people take disciplin too far and end up hurting the kids resulting in the child requiring hospital treatment.
so as a rule a smack /tap on the childs person should never be implemented on a child under 5yrs of age end of discussion as under this age kids have little or no comprehension of right and wrong you can only get down to the childs level and explain in a way that the child can understand what they did wrong.

as i said above the only time to implemt physical punishment is when all other forms of punishment have failed and only then when a child knows right from wrong.

you as a parent will know when that is.

Answer 4

Yes I think it is OK if they are being bad just so it is controlled and not beating. I was spanked all the time by my Mom with a hand, yardstick, and belt because my siblings and i could be little morons at times and would defy Mother when told to do something. I did not have to spank my children only yell at them once in awhile to get their attention when they were on Sega or the phone . I didn't grow up to hate my parents but to respect them and know they loved me very much. Also it really didn't hurt cause Mom never hit hard and we would take off out the door to get away. lol If you don't control your child you will have a bigger problem on your hands when they get older because they will walk all over you and I have friends that did time out and it didn't work!

Answer 5

Spanking is a personal decision. Different methods of discipline work for different kids. My parents tried the whole time out thing on me, and they did it by the book, but it didn't work. Only spanking worked. When my brother came along, he DID see hypocrisy in getting spanked for hitting my other brother, so other forms of discipline worked better on him. So it is just whatever works for your kids.

As long as you know the difference between abuse and spanking, you should be okay. Ask your local DHS office for info on what constitutes abuse in your state (case in point, my husband was very surprised as to what was considered abuse in my state. His parents had done several of the things listed, and to him, it wasn't abuse. Good thing he read that BEFORE we had kids!! So you have to watch.)

There are some guidelines to follow for spanking, though, in order for it to be effective and appropriate in the context of today's society.

1. Ask: Can I achieve discipline any other way?
2. Never in anger
3. Don't make empty threats. (this applies to discipline in general)
4. Immediately or not at all.
5. Your hand and their bottom.
6. Assure them you love them.
7. Tell them how to avoid future punishment--give them something to do instead of the negative behavior.
8. Let them cry.
9. Be aware of age--spanking is not appropriate past a certain age, usually puberty.

Answer 6

BUt right from wrong can be taught without striking someone. Many, many, many CHOOSE this path. I personally know LOADS of couples who CHOSE not to spank and their kids are respectful, wonderful, well-behaved kids...and some are now adults who are successful and lead a great life.

So why are some kids worth it and some not?

My father taught me right from wrong. He taught me that there are consequences for every action - either good ones or bad ones. He never "cleaned up" my mistakes but taught me how to correct them and taught me how to avoid making them in the future. He invested more time and love with me.

My parents loved me and cared enough to TEACH me right from wrong without having to raise a hand to me.

My oldest child participated in a research study when she was a little one. They had a room filled with knick-knacks and adult stuff (like the breakables you find at Grandma's house). Group A of kids had their hand slapped whenever they reached for a "no-no" object. Group B was told not to touch these things and were redirected. Later on, toys and educational materials were brought into the room WITH the knick-knacks. The kids who had their hands slapped refrained from touching ANYTHING...even the things they were allowed to touch. The kids who were NOT slapped touched the good things and left the bad things alone. So, what group is going to benefit more in the long run - especially after YEARS of repeated parental behavior?

Children learn and soak up things like a sponge. I do not break my bad habits or learn to do new things but having someone strike me. I am smarter than that and frankly, my children are too.

I'm not saying that all spanked children are going to grow up to be serial killers or wife beaters. That's absurd. But I'd rather give them the best I can - and I've learned from very wonderful people than you CAN raise kids - even kids with different or difficult personalities- without ever raising a hand to them.

Again...I didn't have children to raise them with every shortcut in the book. ANd spanking is just a shortcut.

Answer 7

I think spanking is fine as long as it's not taken too far. I was spanked as a child, but I think it did me more good than harm. Children need to be disciplined, and once in a while spanking is necessary!

Answer 8

spanking is an acceptable form of discipline the only thing to remember is never spank when you are mad and to set limits for how many swats for an offense. people that cant control their anger and don't think before acting have given spanking a bad name but it does work if used with discretion. remember your are the parent and you have to decide what is best for your child, not just now but in the future. helping your child to grow up to be a responsible adult who understands that his or her actions have consequences is part of that.

Answer 9

I agree with everything you said,and I was spanked as a child too. There is a difference between spanking and beating a child.

Answer 10

One firm spank on the rear end immediately after doing something wrong is perfectly fine. Just NEVER hit the child in the face or anything. And make sure you TELL them what they did so they know exactly what they're not supposed to do again. If they scream in the supermarket and you hit them when you get home, they won't make the connection.